Overture
by Frostings
Summary: Rukawa Kaede badly wants to go to America to train. Or is it really his only reason? Non-yaoi, please R&R! ~STORY COMPLETE, EPILOGUE UP~
1. From Afar...

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"His name is Kaede, and I'm sure you two will get well along together."  He stood there, in the scratchy new clothes, standing on the doorstep, clutching his mother's hand. When he heard her speak, he was suddenly filled with the urge to look up to her face, see and remember what she looked like. But she was too tall, too far out of his view. Opposite them was another tall woman, with a little girl clutching her skirt. He scowled at her. His mother didn't even try to coax the two of them to go play. 

"Do you really have to go away so far, Shizuka?"  the mother of the girl's asked his mother.

"Well, it's Koinosuke's job, you see, and we still have to manage the divorce papers. Whatever possessed me to marry him in America, I don't know why, but now it's giving me a terrible headache. I really want to spare Kaede all this." They stepped into the house, and Kaede saw that it was quite like the house they used to live in, big and cold. The little girl was still staring at him.

He wasn't sure what else they talked about, because he didn't care anymore. He was sick of loud voices and he at times, he was quite sick of his mother, too. What he was interested in was this new house and the girl standing opposite him. He wondered why she had green eyes and why her hair color was dark red, unlike his own black locks. He had never met anyone with such hair before. 

Her mother and his mother went out to the large gardens of the estate to chat  a little while and have tea. The two were great friends in their college days and supported each other in whatever problems they had. Kaede briefly wondered if his mother thought he was a problem, and if that was why she was leaving him here, alone. 

"You two go ahead and play, okay, Tsubasa?" the strange woman—her name was Shigeru—was telling the girl with green eyes. She smiled and nodded happily. "Okay mama." Was all she said, and with that, she grabbed Kaede's hand and merrily led the way towards a tall cherry tree. He allowed himself to be dragged along, wondering why he was here, like he had just awakened from a dream that was so lifelike, he was sure it was real…

Finally, when they were away from her mother's view, the girl released Kaede's hand. "Listen here, you." She said imperiously to him, twirling about to face him. "From this day onward, you will be living in my house. Since you are just a guest, you have to do whatever I tell you to do. Do you understand?" 

Kaede nodded, his face growing more sullen. He remembered now. His mother brought him along to this house to stay in while she went off to America. He was going to live with a nice lady and her own little girl, this one standing in front of him. And she was a spoiled brat. He hated spoiled brats. These were very strange thoughts for a mere five-year-old, but then again Kaede had an unusual upbringing. For six years he was growing up alone. What did the girl want again?

"Now, climb up that cherry tree!" she ordered, pointing up to the high branches reaching up to the sky. Soft, pink blossoms floated towards them. Oh, Kaede thought. Is it spring already? 

"Hurry up!" 

Obediently, Kaede removed his shoes and headed towards the base of the tree. The girl was looking at him in a half-frightened, half-excited sort of way. He stopped in his tracks. 

"Why do I have to do this?" he asked her.

"Why? Are you scared?" the girl taunted.

The two glared at each other for a moment and at last Kaede turned back to the tree. He had a hard time climbing it at first, but he quickly got the hang of it. Soon he was perched up a high branch, looking over the wide, wide lawns. A breeze passed over him, showering him again with petals. It felt wonderful. He felt free, without any reason to scowl. He breathed deeply. A girlish laughter caught his attention. 

"It doesn't look so hard!" the little girl cried, reaching out her short arms out to him. She twirled around as the petals fell on her, her white dress fanning out, making her look like a flower herself. "Mama told me it was dangerous, but it's not, really, isn't it?" 

He shook his head. 

"I want to go up with you! Please wait for me!"  and she climbed up, almost as easily as he did, although it took more time and she had more scrapes on her knees than him. She sat next to him, grinning and twinkling. 

"You're pretty cool." The girl said, after a moment of silence. After sizing him up for a moment or two, she extended her hand. "My name's Tsubasa." Kaede stared at it, blinked, and shook the hand. Tsubasa smile widened. 

"You smile too much." Kaede said, seeing her face. But in truth he was secretly wondering if she was laughing at him. 

"It's just that no one has ever shook my hand before." She said. Then as an afterthought : "They usually pat me on the head." 

"Kaede." His mother called to him. He smiled when he saw Tsubasa's mother's eyes grow round with alarm as she saw the two perched up on the tree. 

"Tsubasa! What are you—get down this minute, young lady. Get down this very minute!" she cried, reaching out her arms to the little girl. This was the first time he saw her face—kind and warm and rosy. He glanced at his mother, and she was so unlike Tsubasa's mother—pale and delicate and unsmiling. She waited for Kaede to climb down the tree and approach her himself. 

She wrapped him around in her perfumed arms and kissed him on his head, and he clung to her, and it seemed to him that his mother didn't want to let him go, really, but it was beyond her strength to change things. It was time for her to go. When he kissed his mother goodbye, his eyes remained dry but he had an uncomfortable feeling in his chest. A small voice told him he would never see her in this way ever again. He almost whispered "Don't go." But somehow he failed to enunciate these simple words. A cold kiss was all she gave him as a token of farewell, and a vague promise of seeing each other soon.

Don't go.

And then she walked out of the door.

Please don't go.

And he felt that life had to start again. There was always a beginning waiting after the ending.

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OVERTURE

No, really, that's the title of the fic. -_-; I don't own anything from Slam Dunk and yes, I know it may seem to a lot of you guys out there that this is a Mary Sue fic. I will try my best to avoid that being so. I'm not an expert on basketball, and weird as it may sound, I won't be mentioning much of it here O_o even though this is an SD fic. Basically I'm trying to delve on Rukawa's past—it's just he acts so unlike a real person a lot of times and there HAS to be an explanation for that, other than being dropped off by aliens. This is for RC—you know, this is the first time I made a fanfic as a birthday present! Okay, I'll stop rambling now. Onto the next part!

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Many children merely forget this part of their lives, and memories turn into unreachable, indecipherable things, way beyond their reach. Perhaps it is because they were too young to remember, or merely because they were growing up, and they decide that that part of their lives was not important, not worth recalling. What highlighted those years were just emotions, and most of the time they were irrational and kicked in if the child needed or wanted anything.

I want a cookie. I want a lolly. I want a kiss. Make me happy. 

You kicked me. You took my doll. It's your entire fault. I'm going to cry.

But if a child has a real reason to be unhappy, had a reason to cry, had a reason to remember then it is an unusual childhood indeed.

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Shigeru was awakened by several persistent tugs on her nightgown. For a moment, she thought it was Tsubasa, who, only a few months ago, had began sleepwalking and ended up in the garage for some reason and spent most of the night there, fast asleep. But, no, she could feel Tsubasa's silky hair against her chin, her daughter's soft breathing going against her own. She stroked her daughter's head, making sure that she was awake and not dreaming. There was another pull on her nightgown sleeve. She reached over to turn on the lamp standing beside the bed but instead she felt her hand touching something else. She passed it and turned on the lights. The sudden brightness blinded her momentarily, but her eyes quickly adjusted and fell on the figure standing near the bed. It was Kaede, dark-blue eyes blinking against the light of the lamp, small fingers clenching the fabric of her sleeve. 

Shigeru smiled sleepily at him. "Kaede. What are you still doing up? Do you want anything?" Kaede didn't answer and just stood there, silent as stone. He looked so much like his mother, Shizuka. That quiet demeanor, those watchful eyes, alert and focused. 

"I…" Kaede began but he hesitated, and tried again. "I wet my pajamas." He said this so solemnly that Shigeru almost laughed. 

"Oh?" she sat up, gently pulling her arm from the sleeping Tsubasa. "Let's go change then." She took his hand and they walked back to his bedroom. She quickly took a fresh set of sleeping clothes and put them on Kaede. She pulled off all the bedcovers and laid them on a corner, to be taken the next morning by the laundry woman. All the while Kaede watched her, thinking how different it all was at his house. At his house, his mother would have called for the maid to do all these rituals, and went back to sleep. That was what it was like. Then he remembered, that starting today, things were going to change.

She turned to him. "Everything's okay now." She saw that he was staring at her. "Is there anything else you want?" he nodded. She waited, and all the while, Kaede was trying very hard to remember what his own mother looked like. Shigeru held out her hand, and he realized that he had forgotten.

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Tsubasa woke up with the ticklish feeling on her nose. Grudgingly, she forced her eyes open and felt a warm ray of sunshine on her cheek. But the ticklish feeling didn't go away. A shock of black hair greeted her eyes. The strange little boy, who just came in yesterday was now fast asleep, in the bed she shared with her mother. He had one arm around her and was hugging her as one hugged a pillow. She shifted away, and the sudden movement woke him up, too. For a moment, the two children just stared at each other. They had forgotten the other's names.

"Where's my mother?!" Tsubasa demanded, as if Kaede had just somehow tied, roasted and ate her mother during his stay. He shrugged and buried his small face into the pillow. She stared at him and wondered if she was ever going to get used to his weird, sullen face.

"Good morning!" Shigure's singsong voice burst in through the door. Her long brown locks were swept up in coiled braids. She was wearing an apron over her office clothes, holding a spatula in one hand and a bowl in another. She frowned ever so slightly. "Why, children, what are you still doing at bed? Get up, get up! Breakfast is ready!" 

"I'm awake, but he's not." Tsubasa pronounced triumphantly, pointing at Kaede, a smile creeping across her face.

"Yes, but you're still in your nightgown, which is the same thing." Her mother replied, heading for the door. "Wash your faces and get down as soon as you can! I'm running late." She said, disappearing through the doorway.

Kaede sat up, and pointed a finger at her. "Ha!" he said, mirroring her delight a few minutes earlier. She stuck out her tongue and jumped up the bed. She grabbed a pillow and flung it to his face. It was a direct hit. Sputtering, Kaede took the pillow off his face and threw it back to Tsubasa, who caught it deftly before it made contact with her face. She laughed, bouncing up and down the bed. She loved jumping on the bed. For a fleeting moment, she had wings, and she could fly. Kaede simply scratched his head and looked at her. He had never seen such a happy person before. Suddenly she stopped jumping and sat next to him, her green eyes bright in the sunlight. 

"Say, do you know that I have magical powers?" she whispered conspiratorially. He frowned at her.

"Yeah, right." He said, rubbing his eyes to get the gummy things that were always present when one woke up out of the corners.

"Really, I do! You don't believe me?" she pouted, quite adorably. "Okay, then." She lay flat on her back, twirling one dark lock around her finger, her eyes concentrated on the ceiling, as if she were thinking very hard. "I predict that Mama will call us from downstairs, and tell us that we can starve ourselves if we want to, but no one's going to prepare us a late breakfast…whatever that means." 

And, on cue, her mother called from downstairs. "Kaede! Tsubasa! You two, hurry up! You can starve yourselves up there, but no one's going to prepare you a late breakfast! Do you hear me?" Kaede gawked at her, and Tsubasa winked. 

"And then she'll come up and get us dressed herself, wait and see." She went on, obviously on a roll. And sure enough, after a few minutes, they heard Shigure climbing up the stairs and in a matter of second had whisked them off to get them dressed. While she did, Kaede was still looking at Tsubasa with admiring eyes. She couldn't help herself anymore and laughed at him, for being so gullible. He didn't understand at first, and wondered why she was giggling. It was then he realized that he had been had but he didn't feel slighted at all. Instead, he smiled, and laughed along with her.

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They took a walk with Tsubasa's nanny after breakfast, and it would have been boring if the nanny did not have an amusing Irish accent. She talked incessantly, rapidly, her words heavily accented. She talked about the city, of the cars, of the bills she had to pay and so many other things that they did not understand. Perhaps Shigure hired her for that very reason, the ability to talk about anything to anyone, even if the ones listening were mere children. They had a break when Tsubasa's shoelaces came untied, and the Irish nanny had to bend down and loop it up. 

And that was when Kaede first saw it.

The sound of the red ball hitting the pavement sounded like a heartbeat, rhythmic and resonant. Kaede watched, enchanted, as the lone player took a few steps backward, forward, to his right, in a dance whose music only heard. The young player's eyes were focused on the space in front of him, an invisible enemy blocking his way to get to the goal. He had control over the ball, as if it were an extension of his own will. Then, he took a step forward, and took flight. He reached out his arm, and slammed the ball into the basket that was hanging overhead. The moment of flight took his breath away, and never would he forget it. One day, he vowed solemnly, one day I'll fly, too. The ball bounced and rolled towards his feet. The player landed. It was all over.

He leaned over and picked up the ball. It was surprisingly heavy and he looked up at the young man. With an effort, he tossed over the ball and the player caught it easily. He smiled at Kaede. "That's a good throw. Maybe you'll be a basketball player someday." He said.

Someday…

"Kaede-chan?" it was Tsubasa's voice, and she and the nanny were looking at him quizzically. "What are you still doing there? Let's go." 

"I was just watching…" he began, but when he turned to point, the basketball player was gone. 

"Too young to be having delusions." The nanny muttered. "Then again, my stupid goat of a cousin had it, too. Now come on here, you! We don't have all day!" 

"Yes, hurry up, Kaede-chan." Tsubasa echoed. "I'm burning to death here." She pulled her collar a little for emphasis. Kaede nodded and headed back to them. In his mind the scene earlier repeated itself over and over, almost obsessively. He was silent for most of the time, deep in thought. 

When they got back to the house, the nanny was carrying groceries, Tsubasa was carrying some candies, and Kaede was carrying a postcard they had retrieved from the mailbox. A letter from his mother. How strange. Wasn't it a little too early? The picture was of a bluebird in flight, contrasting starkly against the green leaves of some unknown tree. He wished he knew how to read script, but he could not, so all he could do was pass pale fingers over his mother's handwriting of that little bit of her on the paper. He wondered how she was doing. 

"What's that?" Tsubasa asked, walking in, her mouth full of chocolate. Kaede hastily hid the postcard behind his back, and Tsubasa blinked at him with questioning eyes. She didn't see him flip open the mailbox on the way to the house, as she was too busy counting the bars of chocolate in the package she had. She tried to get a glimpse of what he held behind his back, but whenever she did, he turned around to hide it from her and they ended up going in circles. 

"Okay then!" she cried, throwing up her arms in resignation. "Have it your way. I'm going to have some more chocolate." She headed for the door, and Kaede heaved a sigh of relief. As she went nearer the door, she suddenly bolted back to him, and before he could stop her, she had already grabbed the postcard away from him. 

"Ha!" 

"Hey! That's my letter!" 

"Let me read it! I'll read it for you! I just learned how to read script." Being slightly taller than Kaede, she quickly evaded his efforts to retrieve the stolen postcard. Holding it up over her head, with some difficulty, she began to read the short note.

_Dear Shigeru---_

So it was not for Kaede after all.

Before she could read on any further, Kaede suddenly charged at her, using his head as a battering ram, and it came in contact with her stomach. The two children toppled onto the floor, and after wrestling savagely for a few minutes, the nanny walked into the room. She yelled something in her native tongue and hurried forward to take the two children apart. 

"What are you doing?! What are you doing?!" she screamed. Kaede was still pulling Tsubasa's hair and she was kicking him in retaliation. She got the two at a distance and glared at them. "Why are you two trying to kill each other?" Neither one replied, because, if you think about it, there really is no reason if that was the question. Tsubasa's usually smooth hair was sticking up in several places and Kaede was beginning to feel the effects of a well-placed kick on the knee. Before the nanny could open her mouth to begin her scolding and on how she would "tell them to Ms Shigure" Kaede ran out of the room, the now crumpled postcard still in his hand. The nanny clucked her tongue, and helped Tsubasa to her feet. "Poor young 'un." She said sympathetically, before turning on Tsubasa. Tsubasa wondered why she said that.

"And YOU, young lady," she said in a warning tone, shaking Tsubasa by her shoulders. "You should know better than to bully our guest around! You're lucky that you still have your mommy, while he, he has to stay here with no one, not even his own mother. You should treat him more kindly." Tsubasa opened her mouth to protest that she was not bullying him, but decided that the nanny was correct. 

"No more chocolates for today!" the nanny continued.

Here Tsubasa had to protest. "But—" 

"Not unless you apologize to Kaede!" 

A swell of anger surged within her chest. It was his fault anyway, he was being hardheaded, and she wanted to say. He should've let me read the letter to him. He can't even read! Come to think of it, who cares for that stinky old letter anyway? Why did she have to get along with him? He was only a guest! The injustice of it all.

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What would that letter contain? Dear Son, I miss you so much. Don't worry, I'll be there soon…

In fact that was what he wanted to see, if he could only read script writing. He didn't want to stay in that house anymore, with that spoiled brat, with that noisy nanny, in that absurdly big ivory maze they call a house. He wanted to go home, wherever that was. He looked down, his legs dangling from the branch he was sitting on. Was it just yesterday, when his mother stood not very far, watching him and that weird girl? An unnamed fear rose in him. What if his mother never came back? But she had written to him, here it was, clenched in his hand, as if he never wanted to let it go.

Pad. Pad. Footsteps. Someone was running up to the tree. His fingers tensed around the postcard. It was Tsubasa. She stopped a few steps away from the tree trunk, staring up at him. His turbulent blue eyes met her serene green ones. Oh but how deceiving those green eyes were! They were like a cat's, watchful and knowing, not showing anything until the last minute. Neither spoke, and the only voice they heard was the voice of the breeze, passing over the pink cherry blossoms, murmuring indecipherable words of comfort. And all was very still. 

Then she found her voice. "I'm—I'm sorry."  It was hard to get out, for even though she was young, she was very proud. She clenched her fist, but she knew she was doing the right thing, what was due. The words grew stronger. "I'm sorry…if I tried to take your postcard away from you—when you didn't want me to. Please forgive me." She cast her eyes down, and she saw the fallen blossoms. So many had already fallen, and she wasn't aware of it. She wondered if she was making any sense to that boy, perched up high on the tree.

"Read it." He said, surprising her. She looked up at him, and there he was, reaching out to her. "I'll forgive you…if you read it for me." And he didn't look so rebellious anymore. Instead he looked very sad, but the breeze came again, and the pink shower came again, hiding him from her. She smiled weakly.

"Is it okay for me to climb up?"

"It's your tree, you know."

"Alright then." And so she climbed up and sat beside him. It wasn't so scary to be up in a tree when one is with another person. Kaede was watching her. She settled herself and saw that he was already handing the postcard to her.

"So this means we're friends now?" she asked, a little shyly, looking at the crumpled postcard in his pale hand.

He thought about it. "I guess so. As long as you don't kick me anymore." 

"I'll read this if you don't pull my hair anymore." She laughed, smoothing out the piece of paper in her hand. "Is it a deal?"

"Deal."  He nodded solemnly, wiping his nose.

She looked at the postcard. There it was again. The flowing penmanship in black ink. The bluebird on the other side. She imagined Kaede's mother purchasing this postcard at the airport, and hurrying up to a stranger to borrow his pen. So she could write to her son, Kaede, missing her desperately in another land. The delicate figure bending down to scribble a note to be sent care of  Mrs. Shigeru Yamazaki, her pale hair brushing against her cheek, saying, no, writing,  I love you son, and I want to see you again soon. I wish I could give you a hug, but this is all I can afford to give you right now. Please be patient, we will see each other again soon.

_Dear Shigeru---_

_I saw this funny little postcard in the airport while exchanging planes. I will send you a fuller account  of my trip here in Paris, it's just lovely. Hope you can join me here soon, of course with Tsubasa._

_With love for you and my niece,_

_Your imouto, _

_Yuki_

She read the letter carefully, pronouncing each word silently. Then realization dawned on her. The postcard wasn't for Kaede, not at all. The image of his mother bending over in some airport faded fast from her mind, replaced with Kaede's expectant face. He was looking at her closely, trying to read the letter through her. What did she say, what did she say, he asked silently, urgently.

Tsubasa smiled brightly, looking at him and then back to the postcard. Her eyes would betray her, she was sure of it. "Um…um…" she stammered, not knowing what to say. "Your mother writes that she misses you and wants to see you soon. She's looking forward to that day." She raised her eyes to meet his, and it was almost too cruel to break that innocent hope and joy in his eyes. If she were in his place…she would want to hear those words too. She wanted to say more but no words came out. Kaede took the postcard from her hands, running his hand over the writing, which was not his mother's. And she can only feel sadness for him, and a little for herself, too, for being so weak.

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Maaaa…I feel like I've gone off with a bad start. They don't sound like kids at all! I'm really very sorry ;_; I also forgot to mention their ages. Kaede is six here, and Tsubasa is seven. This has a more "flashback" feel to it than the rest of the chapters. Come to think of it, it IS a sort of flashback ^^;.  Thanks for reading. 

PS: Finally fixed this page. 


	2. Who do you love?

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OVERTURE 

_When asked, "Whom do you love?" the first person that comes to mind is…_

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Winter. Beautiful and sad, at the same time. He could stand here eternally and he wouldn't get tired of it, ever. He held out his arms, for this chill was his sunshine, it said of something within him that people could not easily understand.

"Don't you just HATE winter?!" Tsubasa's voice rang out as she shut the front gate of the house behind her with a bang. She fixing the hat on her head, a frown on her face. "I know you don't, but I do. It's just chilly and horrible and wet, and we have to trudge through all this." Tsubasa's mother, Shigeru, forbade the use of bicycles during winter when Kaede took a spill while riding his bicycle on the frosted street two years ago that resulted with some nasty scars on his knee and a lot of blood with people yelling. As a result, they had to walk to school every winter instead of riding their bicycles. He said nothing of this and they began their to walk to school.

Five years had passed. But for Kaede, it felt much longer, as he had known no other life than this. When had it all started, he wondered, looking back at the path they had taken as if it would happen all over again. Walks with the Irish nanny even though it was snowing. Tsubasa would be bundled up in her yellow jacket and brown boots, while he in a blue jacket and black boots. She would make snowmen and he would only watch, and she called him boring. She still called him boring now, but he took that as a compliment. Soon Tsubasa's long hair had to be cut, and it was chin-length, and she never grew it out again. He glanced back at the snow-covered path, but all he can see now were their footsteps, gray against the white.

"Eh? Did you drop something, Kaede-chan?" Tsubasa inquired. "You might get a stiff neck, with all your looking and the temperature." What a silly girl Tsubasa was, he thought, frowning slightly. She didn't even like winter. Winter, heralding the end of the year. And next year…next year Tsubasa was going to enter junior high school. Her mother planned on enrolling her to some posh school in Tokyo, and next winter he would be walking to school alone. He suddenly noticed that Tsubasa was quiet. Well, come to think of it, these walks were usually quiet, unless Tsubasa had a really funny story to tell that she forgot to tell him the evening before. Although she was the more cheerful one of the two, she hated talking about pointless things as much as he did. So they had some common points too, although she hated to admit it. He was then acutely aware of her presence, silent it may be. The little mists she breathed, the crunch of snow under her boots, the way her hands absentmindedly played with the scarf around her neck, the way she bumped her arm against his. That would be gone next year, after this winter.

They approached the school building, now not very far off. To its right was the school's gymnasium, starkly standing out with its red paint. Then Tsubasa's face tilted upward, looking at the school gymnasium with bright eyes. She grinned at Kaede, who knew exactly what she was thinking before she opened her mouth. 

"Race you to the gymnasium!" 

And they were off. The ends of the scarf was flying behind her, her laughter resounding throughout the still cold. He was gaining more ground than she was, now, but she wasn't going to let herself be beaten. Clouds of snow flew behind them, like it first did, five years ago. She would laugh, she liked the feeling of letting go, of freedom. He would smile, too, but he always kept it hidden from her. 

They ran past the gymnasium door and flung their bags to the floor. They took off their jackets and boots, and were soon lacing up rubber shoes and knee pads (for Tsubasa, not Kaede). And soon a red ball was swishing neatly into the basket. This was their ritual, ever since they started going to this school. Ever since Kaede saw that player, he wanted to play basketball. And Tsubasa had enthusiastically embraced it, too, practicing with him every morning, when the senior students didn't need the basketball court. At first it was just simple play, for they couldn't actually shoot the ball through the basket, but after a few years it wasn't so hard. They were taller than most children their age and more talented than most. 

The gym echoed with sounds of squeaking shoes, shuffling limbs and the ball bouncing up and down on the polished floor. Tsubasa won the one on one yesterday and today, Kaede was determined to catch up with her.

"I really have to improve my three-point shots." Tsubasa complained. Kaede had put up excellent defenses and she could not even approach the basket. She took her chance when she saw his arms droop a little, and sent the ball sailing towards her goal. However, the aiming was off and the ball merely hit the ring. Kaede performed a rebound shot with the deflected ball. 

"Eight-twelve." He declared, sticking out a tongue at Tsubasa. 

"The game's not over yet!" she replied, and in a blink of an eye she stole the ball from Kaede's hands and was racing again towards the basket. He was not far behind. She planted her feet firmly onto the floor and took a shot. But Kaede shot in front of her and raised an arm to deflect the ball. He succeeded in warding it off and it hit the floor instead. Outside, the school bell rang. The game was over. 

"Eight-twelve. You lose." Kaede said flatly, as if he had expected the outcome from the very start. Yet all those points were hard-earned, and they can only score so much from the limited morning time they had. 

"Humph. For today." She said grudgingly. They headed retrieved their bags and headed for the showers. This was part of the ritual too, and although many people said it was unhealthy, they never got sick because of it. It would be a quick shower before they changed into their school uniforms. They all did it quickly, before the second bell, signaling the start of class, rang. 

"Don't peek." She warned Kaede before walking into a shower stall.

"I have better things to do with my time." He retorted, marching into another shower stall.

"You might be a closet pervert all these years for all I know."

"If I were, I wouldn't even do it to you. You act like a guy, anyway." 

"I really like it when you're quiet, Kaede-chan." And as an afterthought: "Why are you so talkative today, anyway?" 

Kaede reflected on it. He _did _talk an awful lot during the practice. Leave it to Tsubasa to notice something like that. Mostly he criticized her play, in which she answered back by saying, well, you're not such a spectacular player, yourself.

He thought about next year again. It was hard imagining practice without Tsubasa.

After getting dressed, they went into the main school building and headed straight to their lockers.

"Next year, I'll probably play in an all-girls basketball team." She was saying excitedly. What else did she talk about other than junior high school? Hrm. Nothing else. She rambled on, her eyes bright and alive as usual. Tsubasa hated winter, but in Kaede's opinion (although he never told her), she looked prettiest during this season—because most of the time she was not. The chill in the air made her cheeks rosier, and the stillness of everything made her more animated and active.    

"What position do you think I'll end up in?" she went on. Neither of them really played in a basketball team before and she looked forward to the prospect with a mixture of impatience and anticipation. Well, a little more impatience than anticipation. 

"Court jester." He replied, unlocking his locker to put his belongings inside.

"Ha ha. You crack me up." she made a face. She noticed an envelope slip out of Kaede's locker, with a heart-shaped seal, landing near his feet. "What's this?" she wondered aloud, picking it  up. Her eyes widened. "Aaaa…it's another love letter for Rukawa Kaede-sama!" 

"Give me that!" he snatched it away from her, eyes burning with embarrassment.

"Rukawa-sama? Doesn't sound right for you Kaede-chan." She teased, grinning, apparently enjoying Kaede's red face. This was one of the things that ever made his face red—whenever other people saw his love letters from admirers. "What strong love love power you have! Don't you think it's about time you practiced kissing? You know, just in case." 

"Stop talking trash." He grumbled, tearing the envelope open. These letters started coming earlier that year and at first, Kaede tore them up right away. He didn't know these girls and didn't really care for anyone. He didn't believe that anyone who had hardly even talked to him could actually really like him. It just didn't make sense to him. He never showed up in these meetings and as a result, he had broken the hearts of so many girls that even Tsubasa got involved. Some of the girls whose letters he tore up actually went to her and spilled their dilemma to her, knowing that she was practically Kaede's older sister. Tsubasa then had a talk with Kaede, which only made him even more annoyed with his admirers. But Kaede, you have to understand, Tsubasa said, her voice gentle but firm (he can actually still hear it today). These girls plucked up a lot of their courage to write these letters to you, to tell you their feelings. It's not right the way you just throw it away like it was nothing. You don't have the right to do that. You have to think about other people once in a while.

So every time he found a letter in his locker, he would consider throwing it away, and Tsubasa would tease him about it as a reminder, and he would be forced to meet the girl. It was a vicious cycle, up to the point that he already knew what was going to happen next.

The girl would be someone he knew he saw before but somehow didn't really register in his mind. I love you, the girl would say, smiling uncertainly. From then on, what she would say or do will vary. I loved you ever since I met you. Every time you looked at me I felt a twinge of hope and I wrote to you so I would find out the truth. She would be trembling—her voice, her lips, her soul. I admire you so much and I am a little afraid of you, to tell the truth but I still love you. 

And he…his heart would be totally unmoved by these confessions. Her smile would remain plastered on her face, the uncertainty would grow more and more and more…it was a slightly embarrassing ordeal, but he got used to it afterward. All he had to do after hearing her out was to say I'm sorry, and walk away. There would be stunned silence and the girl usually cries. He beat a fast escape before that happened.

Today it was going to happen all over again. He sighed a little as he read the letter. Dear Rukawa-sama, it said. Please meet me at the school rooftop after classes. I will be waiting for you, even if you don't come. The letter was unsigned. 

"Ready to go?" Tsubasa asked as he folded up the letter. After teasing him about his admirers, Tsubasa was always quiet about his "love life". She never brought it up willfully outside school. Perhaps because she didn't have a lot of admirers like him, and couldn't empathize with him. She was taller than most boys her age and was quite lanky, and for some, rather plain-looking. All skin and bones. But if any of the boys teased her about it, she usually beat them up, being stronger than they. So she was rather clueless in the relationship department, thinking it was a silly thing for a mere twelve-year-old to bother about. Anyway, Kaede found these letters fairly inconvenient for him and sometimes wondered if he should have taken Tsubasa's "sensitivity towards others" advice seriously. After all, she didn't seem to practice it when she punched black eyes into other boys' faces.

He wondered, idly, if Tsubasa had sent any letters like these to any boy before. He imagined her, standing on the school rooftop, fiddling with her scarf, waiting for the boy, a blush blooming slowly on her face. He shook his head. Now where did THAT thought come from?

The bell rang, distracting him from having any further thoughts about the situation that lay ahead. He turned to Tsubasa, intending to say goodbye before she headed for her classroom. But when he did no one was at his side. She had gone on ahead.

-------

The school building was already empty half an hour after the dismissal bell rang. Eager to get home and empty their minds from the numbing lessons of the day, students had hastily packed their bags and flooded out to the hallways. There was a basketball game between their own junior high school team against another school's team and many of them were hurrying to get good seats.

Kaede, on the other hand, was bounding up the stairs that led up the school rooftop, taking two at a time. Not because he was anxious to meet with his admirer, rather he was anxious to get this done and over with so he could go watch the basketball game that was going to be held at the gymnasium that evening. 

The iron door clanged as he impatiently pushed it open. Of all the days, why today?! The girl was already waiting for him, and his heart felt disappointed, although he didn't know why at that time. She smiled and held out her hand. 

"Hello…Rukawa-san." 

-------

Tsubasa studied the bulletin board carefully. Despite the many school notices that very much involved her as part of the community, her attention seemed to be taken by one article alone. She was staring at a newspaper clipping relaying the news that their junior high school had been able to enter the interschool basketball finals. Along with the fine print was a picture of the team, their faces too small for recognition, but she was staring at it like it were a piece of art.

"Tsubasa Yamazaki?" 

She was so absorbed in the article that she didn't hear him approach. She jumped a little, and her startled eyes softened in recognition.

"Fuyutsuko-sensei, you surprised me." She laughed embarrassedly. 

"If you hadn't been so preoccupied with the bulletin board, I wouldn't have." He smiled kindly to her. Fuyutsuko-sensei was the coach of their junior high school's basketball team. He was rather tall, and rumor has it that he used to play in an international team, but not Japan's. That all ended when he met a devastating accident, which ended his career forever. He retired from playing and went instead to coaching. He now walked with a limp, and was very kind, and people criticized him for that, saying that he was 'too soft' on his team. Still, many people respected and loved him, and regarded him highly. Tsubasa was one of them. She talked to him as often as she could, usually before the practice of the team that was held in the gymnasium.

"Going to watch the game?" he asked, rather absently.

She nodded. "I'm just waiting for Kaede-chan. He's…" here she paused and smirked. "He's just settling some affairs." 

"I heard that you're moving to Tokyo next year." He said, brushing snowflakes off his graying hair. She blinked, wondering how he knew, because she hadn't really told anyone yet, aside from Kaede.

He shook his head. "It's a pity." He sighed and fell silent.

Her curiosity got the better of her. "Why?" 

A smile slowly lit his face again. "Oh, nothing. It's just a pity. I've seen you play basketball, and I've never seen a player quite like you before. And you have more to prove, too. You play better than some of the team's substitutes, that's for sure." 

Tsubasa's mouth opened, but no words came out—a typical reaction when someone you admire and respect praise you highly. Many years later she would recall that this was one of the most memorable moments of her life. And for a moment she just stared, dumbfounded, at Fuyutsuko-sensei. She? Better than the other players _actually in the team?_ And the coach was telling her all this? Fuyutsuko-sensei himself? It was like daisies suddenly popped out of the snow.

"You look surprised. You get surprised easily, don't you?" he commented, after a long silence.

"Yeah…I guess I do." She said, rather stupidly, she thought. 

"What I'm saying here, Yamazaki, is very simple." His voice changed abruptly, sounding sterner, less kindly. He called her Yamazaki, and not Tsubasa-chan, as he wont to do. "Don't go to Tokyo, if you can help it. The school you are going to has a very poor basketball program. I am telling you this now, in all truthfulness: if you go to Tokyo, you will end up in a team with an undeveloped program and training that will severely limit your strengths and stunt your growth. Stay here." His eyes were boring into hers. He had read all her actions, all her words, and knew if he did not speak out now, she would be going onto what he thought was the wrong path of developing her fine skills as a basketball player. "Stay here and fully develop your potential, Yamazaki." 

"Fuyutsuko-sensei…" she began, but he cut her off.

"Just think of what I have said, Yamazaki." The hard voice was gone, and Fuyutsuko-sensei's shoulders dropped again, the sudden burst of energy diminished. He shrank again to the kindly old professor and it was a sudden and disorienting change. 

He left Tsubasa alone with her confused thoughts, explaining that he had to go back to the game.  All the plans she had organized months before were blown away with the whirling snowflakes. She looked at the photograph again, then at the departing figure of the coach. Lost.

----

"Please don't misunderstand me." He recognized the girl as one of his classmates, but he didn't know what her name was. Come to think of it, when did he start remembering his classmates' names, anyway? 

"My friend was the one who wrote you that letter—she got scared at the last minute and asked me to do it instead. She's a classmate of ours, too." There was no response. She went on. "she's afraid to ask if you like anyone in the class and you'll say no." 

"Well, she's right." 

"That includes the teachers, huh?" the girl was unfazed. 

"I don't hit on old ladies." Came the curt reply.

"That's a pity." She bent over and scooped some snow off the ground, and then let it run through her fingers. "And she liked you so much, too." He remembered now. She was the class gossip. Her amazingly scratchy voice kept him awake in most of the classes, that is, if she talked. 

Kaede made a move to leave.

"Wait there's something else I want to ask." Scratch, scratch. He wished she would shut up, but if she did, he would be in big trouble in his classes. 

Kaede turned back and glared at her. Usually this look made even the toughest school bullies fidget, but that didn't make the girl's confident stance falter. She must have been receiving deadly glares ever since she was born. Her brown eyes were mischievously smiling at him, clearly enjoying every moment she had with the famous Rukawa Kaede. 

"Do you have…someone else that you like, Rukawa-san?" she asked coyly, lowering her eyes.

The image of Tsubasa flashed in his mind, unbidden.

"It's none of your business." He said as flatly as he knew how. 

The girl pouted, ignoring the fact that Kaede's eyes were now throwing daggers at her. "But that's such a safe answer…Rukawa-san. A yes and a no." she looked up just in time to see Kaede slip through the iron door and close it behind him. He had left her. She stamped on the snow angrily, and slipped landing squarely on her butt. For a moment, she looked like she was going to cry. "YOU JERK!!" she yelled instead, punching the ground in frustration. But they fell on unheeding ears.

-----

"What a nosy little weasel." Kaede muttered to himself as he began hurrying downstairs, each step echoing around him. Tsubasa was waiting for him at the landing.

"Kaede-chan, what took you so long!? I'm not wearing good gloves, heavens, I thought my hands were going to fall off." She hurried towards him, speaking in a voice that was half-chiding and half-serious. She was smiling, though, and her gloved hands were running anxiously through her deep red hair. And for a moment he could only stare at her. "I didn't know it was going to be this cold. Darned winter!" 

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Tsubasa huffed impatiently, grabbing his arm and dragging him along. But somehow, there was a lacking sense of urgency in her voice and manner, as if this was all forced, in a way. "You're impossible, Kaede-chan, and as unresponsive as a block of cement, but I expected you to be a lot earlier for a basketball game than this!" and although she sounded mad and looked a little mad, he knew she really wasn't. After all, getting late was part of the risk of waiting for him, right?

He looked at the gloved hand pulling him along. He suddenly wanted to snap at her, tell her to let go of his arm. She was always like this, dragging him along whenever she was in a hurry to go somewhere and he was less than cooperative. Always, ever since they were little children. He wanted to tell her to stop, that they weren't children anymore. What if he did just that? 

But surely—surely—she would just laugh at him. 

----

They got in the game and the first half was nearly over. She didn't seem to mind. They sat at the worst seats, but again, she didn't say anything. Just as he had suspected. Why else would they hurry if it were so obvious that they were late anyway? He remembered that nosy girl on the rooftop and suddenly wished he stayed longer so he could've at least strangled her.  

"Ahead by forty points." He tried. Typically, she would finish the thought for him and say something like yeah, there's no way the visitor team can catch up, even with the second half. Or, I've seen the visitor team before, and they really suck, no wonder we're ahead by forty points.

But she just nodded and stared absently at the court. There was a notable lack of energy from the spectators, as it always was when it was very clear to everyone who would win. Tsubasa was still deep in thought.

"Are we going to watch the next games? Shohoku is a little far off, you know." There. A whole sentence. That ought to get her attention. It didn't work. She took off her glove on one hand and began sucking her thumb, a habit she had carried since childhood. 

"Don't suck your thumb." He said, rather crossly, pulling her hand from her mouth, acting more on habit, too. Shigure had instructed him to do that ever since he came to live with them. 

"Hey! What's the matter with you?" she glared at him.

"It's disgusting. Stop it." He glared back. 

"You were saying something before that." She said, popping back the thumb in her mouth defiantly. At least he had her attention now. He had forgotten the question. He stared at the basketball court and decided that there wasn't much to see. 

"Want to go home?" 

----

It was uncharacteristic of them to stand up and leave at the middle of a game, just when they arrived. It was uncharacteristic, but it wasn't impossible. So that's what they did. They left the school and walked home. 

At first glance, Tsubasa seemed to have recovered from whatever was bothering her earlier. But nothing escaped Kaede. He heard the slight falter of her voice as she hummed, the way she dragged her feet through the snow, the way she failed to look up to the sky and gaze at the fading twilight. He glanced at her often, but she did not look at him and smile or make a face, as she usually did. He wanted to ask her what was bothering her, but he kept his mouth shut. She will tell him, he was sure. All in good time.

The time came sooner than he expected. "Kaede-chan…while I was waiting for you, Fuyutsuko-sensei talked to me." Her voice was strangely dark and solemn. His eyes looked into hers questioningly, and the distress was clear in the pools of deep green. "He said that I should stay here, and not go to Tokyo. For the basketball team. Isn't it amazing?" she said, laughing softly to herself. "I never thought he would say something like that to me. He said that I had a lot of potential, and that I'm better than some of his players!" 

But Shigure had already planned for her education in Tokyo. For months Tsubasa had talked of nothing else. She wasn't just going for the all-girl's basketball team, but she was going for the education as well. She really was quite insecure in the way she played basketball, and harbored no fantasies of being a star player. But now Fuyutsuko-sensei's words had fired hope and confidence in her heart, and now she was unsure. He felt a twinge of jealousy, for no one had ever told _him _that he was a good basketball player, aside from Tsubasa of course. 

"I don't know what I should do anymore. Everything's been arranged already. All I need to do is pass the exam." She said despondently. She then shook her head violently. "You know what? I'm just talking nonsense here." She sniffed a little, smiling weakly at him. "AND I'm boring you to death." 

"Will you just gather your wits and stop sniveling." He said, before he could stop himself. But what could he do? He had no desire to learn words of comfort, and could only use clumsy phrases that only succeeded in pushing others away.

There was a hurt look on her face when he said this. And he was immediately sorry. Tsubasa was never hurt with anything he said before. She had hurried on ahead, wanting to hide the tears of frustration that the cold had already frozen. He quickened his pace, intent on catching up with her. He didn't notice the root that was sticking out up from the white snow. Then, before he knew it—his foot got caught—

"Yiiii---yiii!"

…and it sent him face flat on the ground, arms splayed out on the cold surface. It was a hard landing, and it was a good thing that the snow was rather thick. 

"Kaede-chan!" she was hurrying back to him in a heartbeat. She helped him up on his feet, but instead of the concerned face he was expecting, she was wearing a bemused smile, instead. He spoke with an effort.

"I think my face just got frozen." 

"We'll get it defrosted in a second." Tsubasa sighed, fishing out a handkerchief from one of the pockets of her overcoat. She proceeded on wiping Kaede's face, still grinning widely. 

"It hurts, you know." He said sharply, disliking the way she smiled on a humiliating discomfort.

"You didn't say ouch. You said yiiii! Yiii!" she replied, gesticulating wildly for effect. If Kaede could, he would have blushed. But he couldn't, so he didn't. So he frowned instead. But at least she was smiling now. Perhaps it was a fair exchange. She was smiling now, for she was quick to laughter and kept her sorrows away from anyone, where they couldn't bother anyone but her. She showed this sorrow to him and he pushed it away with foolish words. He regretted it, but it was too late to change anything now. 

"I really can't keep up with you, sometimes, Kaede-chan." She said softly, brushing the folded handkerchief over his face. And he noticed, for the first time, how long her eyelashes were, and that her eyes were the same shade of leaves in the summer—a dark green, and how, with the snowflakes in her hair, they looked like the stars on the sunset sky. He brushed them away with a tenderness that surprised him. She suddenly drew away, and a wild fear overtook him, as if she had discovered something that she was not supposed to know about yet.

"Snowflakes." He muttered, as a sort of penance, an excuse for touching her hair. There was a lump in his throat, but she didn't hear what he just said. 

"There. It doesn't look like you slipped and landed flat on your face." She said approvingly, and she had laughing eyes covering up for her pained ones. And he knew he had hurt her deeply, but she was covering it up again from him.

"Come on! Hurry up! I want to go home and eat!" she was laughing and twinkling again, but inside, her heart was heavy and she was disappointed in him.

-----

They soon rounded the familiar corner that led to home. As they approached the gate Kaede reached out for the mailbox, covered with snow on the top. He froze momentarily—remembering that he had done this ever since the day his mother left. A part of a ritual, but somehow it had lost its meaning. When had he started getting used to this life? He wondered. Still, he reached over and pulled it open. 

There it was. The familiar blue envelope. Tsubasa stopped on her tracks and stared at it. Kaede retrieved it from the mailbox and stood for a while turning it over in his hands. A letter from his mother, always in that sky-blue envelope. It was not very precious to him now. Somehow it had faded along in time. 

Tsubasa was studying his face, and without another word, walked on ahead towards the house. It was best to leave Kaede alone in matters like this. But she wondered…didn't Kaede want to see his mother anymore? Barely a year after she left her son under the care of Shigure, Shizuka met another man in America while arranging the divorce with her estranged husband. They fell in love and got married after all was said and done. After which, Shizuka seemed to have forgotten that she had a child left in Japan. Kaede's father, a cold callous man, was less than interested in Kaede and had no desire of contacting him. The letters seemed to be growing shorter these days, Tsubasa mused, glancing back at Kaede as she walked down the pathway. Kaede now had a younger stepbrother, named Hajime. Hajime. First. Like he had never existed. 

"Don't you want to go back to your mother?" she had asked him in the past, when one of the blue envelopes appeared in the mailbox.

"I'm not part of her world anymore." Was all he said. And it seemed that he was part of the past of his mother, and it seemed that it was the same to him now, in his world. His mother was just a part of a distant memory. Where did all the pain go, she wondered. Was he merely keeping it inside? She didn't know.

-----

Kaede carelessly tossed the blue envelope on the table near the door, adding to his growing pile of unopened blue envelopes. It was a long time now since he stopped reading them, since they had lost their meaning to him. But he wasn't thinking about that anymore. He flopped onto bed, his dark violet eyes fixed on the ceiling.

He was wondering what changes were taking place right now, and what changes would happen in the future. Wondering about what happened earlier, because he didn't understand why it was happening and he didn't comprehend it quite well.

He glanced at the wall to his left, and there was a single picture frame hanging there, a present Tsubasa gave that she insisted on fixing on the wall herself. It was taken during the cherry blossom festival, and both of them were standing under the cherry tree in the garden. Tsubasa's hair was slightly longer here, and she was wearing a violet-and-white kimono. Standing beside her was the sullen Kaede, also wearing traditional clothes,  glaring at the camera, but at least he didn't look like he wished he wasn't there. That was the reason why Tsubasa framed it and gave it to him last Christmas. "After all," she said. "Your mother gives you everything already." 

Kaede sat up and his eyes fell on the blue envelopes on the table. A year from now, will Tsubasa just be another letter in the mailbox. Disjointed from him, sharing happiness only in its minute form. A picture frame on the wall. A voice in his head, chiding him not to throw the love letters away.

She already heard him pause outside her door. She had just been studying, but somehow, she ended up reading a novel, instead. If we only had an gym of our own, we'd be practicing everyday, she sighed, glancing out of the window. But Shigure was very strict about homework so it would be probably unused today, if it existed. Anyway, her thoughts came to a halt when she sensed Kaede pause at the door of her room. Pushing her chair away from her table, she reached towards the doorknob.

"No, don't open the door." He said quietly through the other side.

She froze.

"It's just going to be really quick." He went on.

"Okay." She nodded.

There was a long silence. She glanced at her sock-covered feet, she saw the shadows of his feet through the crack, cast by the lights of the hallway. She waited.

"Don't go to Tokyo…Tsubasa." His voice was loud, as if this was what was inside him all this time.

She looked up in surprise, but only her eyes fell on the door, and not him. She reached out a hand and lay it flat on its surface, taking a step closer. Her green eyes were wide open, and she wasn't quite sure if she had just heard what he had said.

"Don't go." 

He should have said it so many years ago, before his mother left. It was too late to change anything now. But it wasn't going to happen again. Not with Tsubasa. She heard him step away, and in a second's hesitation…

…She opened the door. "Kaede-chan!" 

He wasn't there anymore. She stepped out to the hallway and she saw him on his way back to his room. Kaede paused, and slightly turned his head backward. She was smiling with grateful eyes.

"Thank you." She said softly.

He said nothing.

"Anyway Tokyo is probably more boring than this place, huh?" 

He shrugged his shoulders in his classic 'who cares?'  manner.

"And aren't you supposed to be doing your homework?" 

----

Kaede in a hakama! Droool. 

Waaaaaaai. I don't know when I'm coming or going. This sucks, but oh well. :p Am I fooling anyone with my vague-plot fic??? They don't sound like their age. It's gonna improve soon. I promise! My yaoi-fangirl friend said that Kaede's situation here was similar to this SD doujinshi called Deep Purple. I swear, I didn't know that. I don't even read many SD fanfics. Purely coincidental, I tell you. Why am I so defensive? I should really learn to stop rambling.  O_o On to the next part, I suppose.


	3. Dreamer

OVERTURE

_I am a dreamer…_

----

No one thought it was possible, not even herself, but here she was, holding her new purple jersey with the number she had been assigned to: 11 ("Two number ones! With my made up feng shui, it should be lucky, eh?"). 

"Smallest size ever made."  Fuyutsuko-sensei, now her coach, winked at her. She smiled weakly, not believing her luck, and she still couldn't believe that she was here; she was really here, with the rest of the team. Although, not officially.

It was almost a year now, and the leaves on every tree were turning golden. It was almost a year now when she first went up to her mother and told her that she had no intention of studying in Tokyo anymore. 

She could now smile at all the things that happened to her these past months, but she could still not breathe a sigh of relief. Admittedly, it was a terrible time. First, she had an argument with her mother regarding her decision, the first for a long time. Her mother had her heart set on Tokyo and she really didn't want her daughter to stay, just because of a basketball team. So Tsubasa took a risk and deliberately failed her Tokyo entrance exams, which succeeded both in angering her mother even more and sealing her decision. As punishment, she refused to help Tsubasa with her Tamigaoka application forms, and she had to run her forms herself. 

The start of junior high was even harder. It was only then when Fuyutsuko-sensei revealed his plans for her. He was planning to start a women's basketball team for Tamigaoka junior high, and she was going to train for a year under him, with the rest of the men's team. That was why she had her own jersey. She was involved in everything the team did—except playing in real, actual games. It didn't matter, she told herself, even though she was disappointed. Next year, she would be the captain of her own team, and she'd make up for all the things she missed. 

They were having a practice because tomorrow afternoon they were scheduled to have a practice game with another junior high. A popular team, because of this person called Hisashi Mitsui. This first game is crucial, she thought to herself as she stared at her jersey, still wrapped in plastic. I could prove to sensei how much I have improved already. She was going to substitute one of her teammates, who was hospitalized because of hepatitis. Her teammates were already collecting their things and slapping her back as a way to say goodbye. They were already used to her presence, and when it was time to shower, they let her use the dugout first before anyone else. Aside from that, they were a functioning team, aside from the little considerations they had to do for her, as she was a girl. 

"You're staying for practice?" Tsukiyama, a senior, asked her. He was also the team captain.

"Yes. I have to work hard." She nodded.

"Don't work too hard, okay?" he patted her head. He had become a sort of older brother to her. "Rest well after the practice." She saw Fuyutsuko-sensei smiling at her. The rest of the team knew her ways, and said no more. They all filed out of the gym, and one of her teammates even put some more lights on for her before closing the door behind him. 

Tsubasa was practicing her lay-up shots when Kaede came in. Ever since she had gotten into the team, they had started this new ritual. Actually, she didn't start it, but Kaede did. She had started this extended practice sessions ever since she had gotten in the team, and had instructed him to go on straight home without her, but he didn't want to, for some reason. He would wait outside the gym until practice was over and accompany her practice. He never explained the rationale behind his actions, but then again, it was Kaede. He never explained himself to anyone.

He put his schoolbag down on one of the benches. Tsubasa suddenly noted that he had grown taller of late, almost as tall as some of her teammates. How strange, for her to realize it only now. Perhaps she had been too He had his rubber shoes on. She was quick to pick up.

"One on one?" she asked him. He nodded. She threw him the ball, and he caught it easily, almost absentmindedly. Kaede was going to be a very good basketball player someday, she thought proudly, remembering how he had vastly improved these past months. "Of course, if you've done your homework already." 

Tsubasa tied her hair back. It had grown longer than her accustomed length, because she had been so busy of late, and had no time to have it cut. When her mother finally came to terms to the fact that her daughter wanted badly to be in the team, she had one condition: Tsubasa must still produce good grades, despite basketball practice. If her grades slip, she would be pulled out. So, aside from basketball, she also had to concentrate on studies, and had no time for anything else. 

But she didn't mind. She liked being overworked. Meanwhile, she had managed to pull off a successful three-point shot. 0-3. She grinned at Kaede. First score was for her. It meant a lot, because lately, it had become harder and harder to score points against him. Someday, she hoped to be able to go against him in a real basketball game, and not just in practice. She was grateful that she still had this basketball practice so she wouldn't be so distant from him. It was easy to become distant with Kaede, and she didn't want to make that mistake. He was the only family she knew aside from her mother.  

"You shouldn't think so much while playing." He suddenly said, surprising her as he threw a common shot through the basket. "Two-three." 

She grinned as she caught the ball. This was going to be an interesting practice game.

----

After the practice game (Tsubasa won by one point) they headed towards their bikes. Kaede was already unlocking his bike when Tsubasa gave a cry of dismay. 

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking up. 

"I think I lost my key." She said helplessly, retracing their path. She usually put her keys in one particular pocket, and when it wasn't there, it could only mean that it wasn't anywhere else. But it was already too dark to see anything on the ground. "Do you have a flashlight?" 

"Why would I bring a flashlight to school?" he sounded annoyed.

"It's useless to look for it now. I could have dropped it anywhere." She looked sourly at her bike. "What am I going to do with that lock now? Gnaw through it?" Kaede shrugged. 

"Guess I have to ride with you then." She said resignedly, sitting behind him on the bike, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"No you can't. You're too heavy!" he protested, but she wouldn't let go. He leaned the bike at an extreme angle, then another, hoping she would fall to the ground, but she still didn't let go. She was like a leech, and wouldn't drop. He glanced behind him when he felt her head against his back. 

"Zzzzz…" she snored.

"Great. She's already asleep." He grumbled. "Dammit, how am I going to move this thing? She's practically deadweight." (eh, Rukawa-san, why do you talk a lot when you're alone??) He sighed and put a foot on the pedal, setting the bike in motion. 

The cool night air was pleasant to his tired face as the bike moved along in a leisurely pace. He wondered briefly: if Tsubasa would fall off the bike, what would he do? Thankfully, that seemed to be a far-off possibility, as her hands were clasped together securely. She was snoring very loudly now, and dogs were practically howling as they passed several houses. 

"Shut up." he muttered under his breath. She snored even louder. More dogs howled. It was very embarrassing. "Shut up!" he said louder. Miracle of miracles, she stopped snoring. He sighed in relief. He turned round the corner leading to the house. Tsubasa was still asleep. She wouldn't be able to wake up until next morning, he was sure of it. He had to check her notebooks if she had any homework due tomorrow. He would do it for her later.

He pedaled straight into the garage and he braked gently. Setting one foot down, he unlocked Tsubasa's hands from his waist and put it around his shoulders instead. He crossed his other foot from the opposite side of the bike and let the bike clatter to the ground. He then carried Tsubasa, piggyback, out of the garage, up to the front door, where Shigure was waiting for them. 

"Basketball practice?" she asked Kaede, her voice and face etched with concern. He nodded. She smiled wearily. "Thanks for accompanying her, Kaede-chan. Oh, where's your schoolbag?" 

"It's in the garage." He replied. "I'll get it later." 

"You put Tsubasa in bed, I'll go get your bag." She volunteered, already stepping outside. She glanced back one last time and went on her way.

He trudged upstairs, crossed the hallway, opened the door to her room, detached Tsubasa from his back, and tossed her on the bed. Unfortunately, he tossed her too near the edge, and he tossed her too high, so she bounced off the bed, and right smack onto her face. She sat up, rubbing her eyes sleepily. 

"Kaede-chan?" she rasped as she climbed up the bed. "What am I doing on the floor?" he didn't say anything, hoping he looked innocent. "I had the most awful dream." She went on groggily, scratching her head. "I met this terrible man, and he was so mean to me. I asked for a ride on the bike and he tossed me off a cliff." She climbed up the bed and fell asleep again. At that moment he heard the door open and Shigure peeped in, looking anxiously at her daughter's prone form. 

"Bad day?" she asked.

"The worst." He muttered in reply. He wasn't sure if she was asking about Tsubasa, or him. Actually, he didn't even know if he was referring to himself or Tsubasa. 

"It's futile to try to wake her up now. Let's get some dinner." Shigure continued, opening the door wider to let him pass. He nodded and trudged out of the bedroom, and he heard the door close behind her. "I don't know what's so good about basketball for you two to work so hard as this." She said, sighing. "I feel so guilty, I won't be able to catch her first game tomorrow." Shigure was a partner in an international law firm and was often very busy. However, she wasn't always so busy as to miss important events in Kaede and Tsubasa's lives. She was every inch a worrywart, left with the responsibility for her daughter after he husband died when Tsubasa was a baby. Despite the fact that she generally frowned upon basketball, she eventually softened up for her daughter's passion, and especially when she saw how dedicated Tsubasa was. This was not the first time that Kaede had carried Tsubasa in the house while she was sleeping.

Shigure suddenly reached out and ruffled Kaede's hair, smiling warmly at him. "That's why I'm so glad you are with us, Kaede. I don't worry so much of Tsubasa when I know that you are with her. She is never so sad when she is with you." 

This fell pleasantly on Kaede's ears. Although he always knew that Shigure had great faith in him, it was somehow different from actually hearing it from a person. He simply nodded in reply, looking at the woman, vividly recalling all her kindnesses she had shown to him, the one who had been like a mother to him for the past six years. And he was happy, just hearing her praise. The phone rang, and she excused herself, instructing him to go on ahead without her. 

When she left, he heard the door open upstairs. Without looking up, he held out his arms. Almost at the very next second, Tsubasa dropped down from above and he caught her easily. She had just jumped down over the banister from her room, and no one really knew how they could perform such a feat, but they did. Wherever and whenever Tsubasa jumped from a high place, if Kaede was nearby, it was sure that he would catch her. 

Tsubasa grinned sleepily at him. "I'm hungry. When's dinner?" she asked as he set her down on her feet.

"Right now." Shigure sang as she returned. She glanced at her daughter, her disheveled hair and rumpled school uniform and frowned. "You should at least have fixed your hair before coming down." But Tsubasa was already dozing (standing up?) again. It took a few minutes to wake her up again. 

"I'm so sleepy. But I'm famished too…what a catastrophe…" Tsubasa was mumbling, leaning against her mother for support. Shigure was laughing, putting an arm around her daughter's shoulder, speaking in soft tones to make her wake up. 

"You'll watch the game, won't you, mama?" Tsubasa asked tiredly.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you dear, but I won't be able to." Shigure replied, pushing back strands of Tsubasa's hair in place and glancing at Kaede. "But Kaede will be videotaping the whole thing for me. Is that alright?" 

"I suppose so." Tsubasa's voice sounded clearer. Kaede stared on, feeling strangely left out. Until Shigure held out her other hand, indicating him to come with them. Shigure, stately, tall and elegant, with Tsubasa, rowdy, noisy, clumsy, Tsubasa. A strange pair, his family. He approached cautiously, and then Shigure put an arm around his, the other around Tsubasa.

"You two will take a bath after this. You stink." Shigure was saying, wrinkling her nose. Tsubasa rolled her eyes. It was good to hear them both laugh. It was good that they were going to have dinner together after such a long time. It was good to be home.

----

"There's something weird today. Like something's missing." Ryota Miyagi said to Hanamichi Sakuragi as the whole Shohoku team was jogging around the gymnasium court as part of their warm-ups. 

"Eh? And what could that be?" Hanamichi wondered. (He's not exactly perceptive…)

"I'm not sure." Ryota replied, doing a silent headcount of the team. "Oh, I know." He said. "Rukawa's missing!" 

"Kitsune's not here?" Hanamichi snorted. "Who cares? Maybe he fell down an open manhole and died a horrible death! Hahaha!" his guffaws echoed throughout the gym.

"Baka!" Akagi roared behind him. Hanamichi could practically feel his glare on the back of his neck. "Nothing of that sort!"

"Rukawa already told us beforehand that he won't be able to go to practice for this whole week." Kogure's gentler voice explained. There was a thoughtful silence after this statement.

"Oooooooooo…(etc.)" everyone chorused. Rukawa Kaede, Mr. Practice himself, was missing training? It was unheard of. Even Hanamichi was slightly surprised. 

"Hey you, Gori!" Hanamichi yelled, getting over the surprise quickly. "How come Rukawa can have a break, just like that." He snapped his fingers for emphasis. "And I don't! You're all pushing us like your slaves, while Rukawa is out there, having a date!" (Sure hope it's not Haruko-san, eh…^^;)

"Because he works harder than you do!" Gori, I mean, Akagi, said, finally losing his temper and knocking Hanamichi on the head. "Stop talking about something you don't know anything about!" 

"If practice always goes on more like this, surely, Hanamichi will be more overworked than Rukawa." Miyagi snorted. "Than he'll have nothing to complain about!" 

"Miyagi, you bastard!" Hanamichi spat. Miyagi just stuck out a tongue at him. 

"But you know, it is unlike Rukawa to just beg off practice like that. Although 'beg off' is not the right term for it." Kogure said, wiping the towel hanging around his neck on his face. "It was more like, 'hey, I'm not going to team training for a week.' And that was it." 

"Who knew he actually had a life outside the court?" Akagi shrugged. "Or could it be…" 

----

Author's notes: WHAT? WHAAAAAAAT?! Don't you just hate it when anime characters do that, leaving hanging statements? *grin* They're like, "I can't believe it. He…" "Could it be…" "He is going to…" and we're like, WHAT THE HECK IS IT?!? Anyways, hehe, you probably know what Akagi is alluding to.  Thank you for all those who have reviewed! I appreciate it. Onto the (still unfinished) next part!


	4. Parting to Meet Again

---

It seems like the cherry tree had died. Not surprising, since it had been untended to for almost three years.

Rukawa absently scratched the bark of the tree. The lawns weren't so beautiful as they used to be—weeds and wildflowers now overran it. The place seemed to have been forgotten. The house was a brooding place, looking at him from afar. Another letter in his hand-- This time, though, he had read it. 

He wasn't home when she called him up. She left a message on his answering machine (which had no greeting message) and told him that she would be coming back soon. He was in total shock when he heard her voice again, after what felt to be like a lifetime of absence. 

Would things be different? Would things be the same? He didn't even know why he was here in the first place. Perhaps he was waiting for ghosts to appear. He looked up the branches, idly wondering if he could still climb up, if they hadn't rotted yet. The wind blew, and the grass (weeds!) rustled. But the cherry tree was silent. 

He was going to take his chances. He removed his shoes and tossed them aside. Placing one foot against the trunk, he took hold of one of the branches and heaved himself up. The feeling was the same, but at the same time it was different.  The branches were empty but they were still able to support him. The wind blew over his face. Yes, the wind was always strong here—he had almost forgotten. Then, before he knew it, he had fallen asleep. 

And when he woke up, he thought he was still dreaming. 

Tsubasa was at the foot of the tree, looking up at him, wearing a white dress. Like when he first met her. She was smiling at him, and there was a tinge of sadness in her smile. 

"Were you waiting for me?" 

And he could not say anything. Wasn't she supposed to say, wait for me, I'm coming up, too? But he had not forgotten. There was no way for her to sit beside him on the branches again. 

Tsubasa sighed and ran a hand over one of the arms of her wheelchair.

----

OVERTURE

_Another place, another time._

Standard disclaimers apply. Although I *wish* I owned Sendoh. :D

----

"What are you doing here?" he asked quietly. He was supposed to meet her at the airport four hours from now. 

"I caught an earlier flight. I tried to call, but you weren't home." She explained. Rukawa jumped off the branches and landed lightly onto his feet. When he straightened, he could see her more clearly now, sitting on her wheelchair. It was painful to see her there.

"It looks terrible, doesn't it?" she said, running through the state of the garden with thoughtful eyes.

"Not really." He replied, looking at the wheelchair. He wasn't very used to seeing it. She only started using it shortly before she left for America. 

She laughed. "No, I didn't mean myself. I was talking about the garden." She leaned over and picked up a spray of small white wildflowers and waved it around. "Although I have to admit that some of the weeds are pretty." 

"They're still weeds." He said.

She looked down on her lap, and an uncomfortable silence fell over everything. No, nothing was going to be ever the same again. And it was useless to pretend that it could be. Rukawa saw her look at the dying cherry tree but she didn't say anything.

"How did you know I was here?" he said abruptly, breaking the quiet.

She looked up quickly, her solemn green eyes meeting his. "I really don't know myself" She laughed again. "That sounds kind of strange, doesn't it?" he made no reply. "Well," she brightened, "have you seen the house? Mama had it fixed a week before I arrived, and I haven't taken a look at it yet." 

He took a step toward her and her eyes widened with alarm. "No, you don't have to push my wheelchair. I'm perfectly capable of it, thanks." He had never seen her like this before, uncertain and cautious. It was like she was talking to a stranger. Three years in America, and yet she was still tied to that thing. His hand clenched into a fist, and he shrugged, pretending it didn't matter.

----

What should I ask him?

Hello, how are you, how were the past three years?

She didn't know, she couldn't know, because the moment she saw him, she knew. That somehow, Rukawa had changed, and the person she was looking at was someone different altogether. And she didn't know how to act around him. Should she even be surprised at this change? He had changed, even before they left. 

"I'm so sorry to inconvenience you." She finally said, stammering a little. "Mama wanted to accompany me here and see you too, but she was so busy and…" 

"That's okay. It doesn't matter." Came the gruff reply. There was a distant note to his voice. She was at a loss again. For all the years she was with the silent Kaede, he had never been like this before. He was never so shut away from everything before. She was grateful that they finally reached the entrance to the house.

And what they saw took their breath away.

It was like walking back in time. Everything, everything about the house was the same, as if they had never left it. They almost expected Shigure to pop out, carrying a rag and wood polish, yelling at them for walking in the house with dirty shoes. The two exchanged a look of disbelief, and walked in. 

"What did mama do to this place? Gave the housecleaners a photograph of the house and told them to make it look exactly the same?"  Tsubasa exclaimed, sticking her thumb in her mouth and inspecting everything. So she still sucked her thumb. Some things never change. "Oh, look at that! And look at that and that and that, and that and this and that and this and that and that …" she oohed and aahed over every little thing in the living room. Rukawa could feel the sweat drops forming on his head. 

"You'd think she's never been here before…" he muttered to himself. He took a good look around the house himself, remembering…

The last time he saw the interior of this house was the day he ran away. 

----

It was a few days after Tsubasa was released from the hospital prior to the accident. And that day, their team won the interschool basketball championships. Fuyutsuko-sensei had finally smiled—he had been so solemn ever since he had heard what happened to Tsubasa. As the team was celebrating, bounding and jumping off the court, screaming and yelling congratulations to each other, Fuyutsuko pulled him aside and instructed him to tell Tsubasa that the victory was for her. The rest of the team agreed. Tsubasa was, after all, their trainer. The sophomores and the freshmen were especially grateful to her. 

Now Rukawa was hurrying home, excusing himself from the victory party. They had won! It was true. This victory was partly attributed to her. What's more, the girl's junior high school basketball team of Tamigaoka was on its way to becoming champion of the prefecture as well. Rukawa wanted to tell her this, how wonderful she had been to other people, and now they were all thanking her. He was never so excited in his life before. He wanted to tell her all this and make her smile again. She had never uttered a word to her visitors or her classmates. She only spoke once to the coach and to her mother. The only thing she said to him was "It's not your fault." Before she was wheeled into the emergency room, on that fateful day.

Through the walkway, past the main door, up the stairs…the thrill of victory was still coursing through his veins. They were champions of the whole prefecture! The blood was pounding in his ears as he reached Tsubasa's door and flung it open.

It was like stepping into another world. Although the sun was still up, it was like midnight in Tsubasa's room. The blinds were tightly shut, and the air was stifling. All her other things—books, her old toys and knickknacks were replaced with tables, chairs and medicine bottles. Resting against the wall was a folded wheelchair. Tsubasa's once-sunny bedroom now looked more like a hospital room.

Tsubasa herself was lying in bed, and at first he thought she was asleep. But he saw that her eyes were wide open, and she was staring blankly at the ceiling. She didn't seem to hear him enter the room.

"Tsubasa." He finally ventured, unable to hold his excitement back. She didn't react to his voice.  "The team—" he tried again, but his courage faltered a little. "We won the championships, Tsubasa. Fuyutsuko-sensei…" 

She jerked her head violently and clamped her hands over her ears. "No!" she yelled. "Leave me alone!" Her eyes were now tightly shut, as if what he said cut through her. "Go away!"  Rukawa looked on in horror as sobs began racking through her entire body. 

"Tsubasa!" Shigure was immediately flying through the door. "What happened?!" she demanded Rukawa, but he couldn't speak. The dam of Tsubasa's emotions had already broken  and when Rukawa left the room, he realized he was shaking.

----

He had overheard Shigure and Tsubasa talking later that evening. He intended on apologizing, but he ended up hearing something else altogether. 

"Tsubasa, I know it's barely been a week since you left the hospital, but you must think about other people too. Being sick doesn't exclude you from this." 

"I don't understand what you're saying, ma." Rukawa stiffened at the sound of her voice. It sounded so hollow and lifeless.

"Don't you know that you are pushing Kaede away? You are hurting him." Shigure's tone was lightly scolding. "Can't you at least be happy for him, for all the efforts he is doing?" 

He heard the quiet despair in her voice. "But how can I feel happy for anyone else—when I can only feel misery for myself?" 

It was his entire fault. Why she was like this. Why her legs were paralyzed. Why she was unhappy. The girl who climbed the cherry tree with him, who gave the unforgettable kick in his knee, whom he spent  mornings and evenings playing basketball with was reduced to this sickly bedridden girl who could no longer do anything for herself. Shigure even had to spoon-feed her. Surely if he were in her place, he would hate it too.

Why did it have to be her? Just when she had found her dream. People were growing to admire and respect her. She was captaining the junior high school's women's basketball team. She was one of the top students of the school. She was Fuyutsuko-sensei's star pupil. She had sacrificed so many things to get where she was. All these were extinguished the moment she fell.

And it was his entire fault. He didn't deserve to remain with these people anymore. And that night, he ran away.

----

"Rukawa! Rukawa! E-A-R-T-H to Rukawa!" she cheered. (think: Rukawa shinetai!)

"Huh?" the stroll down memory lane was abruptly interrupted. "Where did you hear that chant?" 

"I don't know. But I heard it's very popular." She grinned. "You looked kind of distant a while ago." 

"It's nothing." 

"It's something." She insisted. "And I bet its hunger. Say, let's go eat at ma's favorite restaurant!" Rukawa immediately knew what she was talking about. Every time they celebrated a special occasion, like a raise or a birthday, or if Rukawa or Tsubasa got good grades, they went to this one restaurant. It was a steak house, with a ridiculous sounding name—Dante's Inferno. It was owned by a man named Dante and Shigure were first attracted to it because the name tickled her immensely. Rukawa always thought that Shigure had a weird sense of humor. Anyway, the food there was good, a bit on the expensive side and not very crowded. Still, it was a nice place. 

"That place." He said.

"Yes. Dante's Inferno." She nodded. Then her expression softened. "I haven't eaten there for three years now. And this is a special occasion." 

"I'm not paying for this, am I?" he asked cautiously.

"No. You stingy…" she laughed. Well, at least THAT didn't change.

----

"Damn that Gori!" Hanamichi spluttered as he walked with Miyagi and Mitsui, looking for a place to eat. Exams were just over, and the three agreed that it had been too much for their poor brains so they decided to eat out. "Man, you'd think he'd be merciful and let us off since it's exams, but nooo, he threatens to kill me if I don't take practice seriously. Feh. Not everyone is a rocket scientist like him, right?" 

"What I would give to eat steak right now." Mitsui said, patting his stomach.

"Yeah, me too." Ryota agreed.

"Hey! Are you two even listening?! Are you ignoring this genius?!" 

Ryota was swatting Hanamichi's face away when he spied a familiar face from a distance. "Hey, isn't that Rukawa?" he asked the two, pointing ahead.

Apparently, Rukawa saw them too, and without batting an eye, turned the opposite direction. Ryota then noticed that he was pushing a woman in a wheelchair, which of course, also turned in the opposite direction. 

"Anou…Kaede-kun, I think the restaurant is in the opposite direction." The woman was saying. 

"Yo! Rukawa!" Ryota greeted merrily. 

Hanamichi was gritting his teeth. "Damn it. He IS out on a date, and to add to the insult, I thought I could go the entire day without seeing his annoying face!" 

The woman's face popped out from behind Kaede's torso. "Ah, Kaede-kun, I think those men are calling you." 

"Never seen them before in my life." He was muttering. 

Unfortunately, they caught up with them before Kaede could make his escape. He had no choice but to face them.

"Sheesh, I thought you'd be friendlier than this, Rukawa." Ryota said, grinning.

"Friendly? He's as friendly as a killer shark." Hanamichi was whispering.

"And who are these people, Kaede-kun?" the woman asked again, a bit annoyed that she was being ignored. "Are they your friends?" 

"NO!" Kaede and Hanamichi chorused.

"We're his teammates." Ryota said apologetically. "Since Rukawa doesn't seem to be interested in introducing us, we'll do it ourselves. My name is Ryota Miyagi." 

"And I!" Hanamichi puffed up his chest. "I am the Shohoku team's star athlete, (here the three guys are probably sweatdropping like crazy) genius Sakuragi! You must have heard of my past exploits, miss…" 

"Yamazaki. Tsubasa Yamazaki. Nice to meet you, Ryota-kun, Sakuragi-kun." She said, holding out a hand. 

"Oh!" he was surprised at the outstretched hand. "How civilized! Unlike you, Rukawa! NYAHAHAHAHAHA!" he shook it heartily, and Tsubasa could practically feel her teeth clattering.

"Do'ahou." Rukawa said, wondering how he had gotten himself into this predicament.

But Mitsui was looking at Tsubasa intently. "Yamazaki. Tsubasa Yamazaki." He was murmuring to himself. "Your name is strangely familiar. I swear I've seen you before…" 

"What did you say your name was again?" she asked him in turn.

"Hisashi Mitsui." He replied.

Something clicked in Tsubasa's brain the second time he mentioned his name. "I—It's you!" she exclaimed, pointing at what seemed like an accusing finger at him. "Bigmouth Mitsui!"

"And it's you!" Mitsui said, shocked. "Androgynous Yamazaki!"

"Who're you calling androgynous?!" 

"Who're you calling bigmouth?!" 

"Yare yare, they're picking up from where they left off." Rukawa sighed. Hanamichi and Ryota looked thoroughly confused.

"Anyway," Tsubasa shrugged (by this I mean her 'aura power' had gone down), "I don't think talking in the sidewalk will be convenient for any of us…" 

"Yes, I completely agree. I guess we'd better be on our way." Ryota said, already backing away. Mitsui was still glaring at Tsubasa.

"No, no." she was shaking her head. "You misunderstand me. You see, this is the first time I've been for three years and I think it would be nice if we all sat down and eat together. Since you're all Kaede-kun's friends…"

"Teammates." Hanamichi corrected.

"Well, whatever." She shrugged and pointed at a restaurant a few meters away. "How about Dante's Inferno?" 

"Nah, I don't want to be stuck in limbo with that guy." Hanamichi quipped, pointing at a very disgruntled Rukawa. (Hanamichi has READ Dante's Inferno? This guy is full of surprises…^^;)

"We probably won't be able to afford it…" Ryota began, jabbing an elbow into Hanamichi's ribs.

"Well—if you put it that way, it would be rude to say no." Mitsui relented. (As if he put up a resistance, haha.)

"As long as I don't owe anything to that kitsune, it's ok with me!" Hanamichi grinned.

"Do'ahou."

"What?!" Ryota, ever the gentleman, tried to persuade Hanamichi and Mitsui otherwise. But the two were already leading the way toward the restaurant's entrance and Ryota knew, unfortunately for Tsubasa, that there was no turning back. -_-;

----

"This place is huge, Hanamichi!" Mitsui was whispering as the small group made their way down the aisle between the tables. 

"Yes, but at the same time, it's not too formal. That's what I like about this place." Ryota commented.

"How would you know about restaurant ambience?" Hanamichi demanded in a whisper. (How do you know what ambience is, Hanamichi-kun? ^^;)

"My family goes out to these kinds of restaurants at least once every week." Ryota said absentmindedly.

"Eh?" Hanamichi raised an eyebrow. "Your family can afford that?!"

"And you didn't even tell us?!" Mitsui piped in. "And all this time you've been so stingy of your money?!" 

"This is our table." Tsubasa's voice cut in through Mitsui and Hanamichi's interrogation, much to Ryota's relief. Rukawa, on the other hand, did not look pleased (well, when did he ever look pleased about anything?). Without saying a word, he lifted Tsubasa off her wheelchair and placed her gently on one of the chairs. 

"You didn't have to put me on a chair." Ryota heard her quietly say to Rukawa. "But thank you." The other guys were quick to wipe the astonished looks on their faces when Tsubasa turned her head towards their direction again. 

"So! What are we going to have?" Hanamichi asked, rubbing his palms together, smiling wickedly. 

"I don't know! You guys go ahead and order anything you want." She replied, beaming across the table.

As Hanamichi and Mitsui were studying the menu, Ryota was apologizing. "Are you sure about this, Yamazaki-san? Athletes are awfully big eaters…" 

"What are you talking about, Miyagi-kun?" Tsubasa shook her head. "I live dangerously. And I mean what I say, too. So you don't have to feel embarrassed." Ryota looked doubtful for a minute before bending over to study his own copy of the menu. 

Rukawa felt a light tap on his arm. He glanced at her and saw her smile apologetically at him. In fact, he was a little disappointed on how things turned out that evening. Instead of catching up with her, he had to spend it with the morons of his team. He hated it. He hated the feeling of always being the one trying to catch up with her.

"Mitsui-san, you look very mature now, ne? You don't look so juvenile as when I first saw you." Tsubasa commented after the waiter took their orders. 

"Ah, oh, really!" Mitsui laughed self-consciously. "I can say the same about you!" 

She smiled.

He smiled.

The others sweatdropped.

"So, how did you two get to know each other?" Ryota prompted.

"I think it was four years ago…" Tsubasa began thoughtfully, her eyes straying towards the ceiling.

----

"Do you really have to videotape me…Kaede-chan?" 

"That's what Shigure-san told me to do." 

"I wish she didn't. I feel like I'm being stalked or something…" she muttered, running up to her teammates. The team they would be playing against was from Takeishi junior high. Their coach was the famous Kagama-sensei, and one of their players was Hisashi Mitsui, who was dubbed as super rookie last year. There was a sense of anticipation in the air, and no one felt it any more than Tsubasa. 

I'm just a freshman, she thought to herself as she stretched her arms to loosen herself up. Today I will do my very best. After all, my mother is watching. Well, sort of.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the gymnasium doors suddenly opened, and a hush fell over the players. Then, to their surprise, a relatively young man entered the room, accompanied by Fuyutsuko-sensei.

"That's their coach? Looks like one of the students." One of the freshmen snickered. Tsukiyama-sempai was quick to scold him. 

Behind the newcomer was a file of Takeishi students, sports bags swinging casually over their shoulders. With an acknowledging bow to Fuyutsuko-sensei, they headed straight for the changing rooms. 

Fuyutsuko-sensei led the other coach towards the team, laughing and talking along the way like old friends. Then they stopped a few meters away from the gathered players. 

"Everyone, I would like to introduce Kagama-sensei, the coach of Takeishi's basketball team." he said, smiling. The students straightened and bowed deeply. 

"Good afternoon, sir!" they chorused.

"How do you do." Kagama-sensei replied, bowing slightly himself.

"Yamazaki." Fuyutsuko-sensei barked, startling her. She glanced around, saw that Kaede was still videotaping her, made a face, and hurried up to the two coaches.

"Kagama-sensei, I'd like you to meet one of our players, Tsubasa Yamazaki." Fuyutsuko-sensei said. Tsubasa bowed deeply. "She's going to substitute for one of our players today. Point guard." He continued. "She's been training very hard and would like to test her skills in this practice game. That is, if you don't have anything against it, sir." At this last statement, Tsubasa crossed her fingers behind her back. 

Kagami-sensei was nodding, and for a moment his unusually youthful face distracted Tsubasa. "Of course, Fuyutsuko-sensei. If you say she is capable, then I have confidence that she is." A swell of happiness surged within her with these words and before she could stop herself, she hugged both coaches. 

"I won't disappoint you both! I promise!" she shouted to them as she ran back to her teammates. 

"If you didn't say she was a girl, I wouldn't even have noticed it." Kagama-sensei commented. Tsubasa had her hair cut earlier that day. The barber didn't want to do it, but she had insisted for it to be a boy's cut. As she walked out of the barbershop, girls were giving her admiring looks and when Rukawa saw her, she could've sworn that he turned several shades whiter. 

Now I look like a boy, she sighed, running a hand through her dark-red hair. Oh well, it didn't matter. At least her head felt lighter now. The rest of the guys in the team were giving her strange looks as well. Even her physique was like a boy's, only she was wearing a black shirt under her jersey. It didn't help that her name, Tsubasa, could be a boy's name as well. But could she stand up to other boys? Argh. The terrible attack of insecurity. Suddenly her throat felt very parched. 

Tsubasa hurried up to the water fountain but when she was a step away, two boys, wearing white jerseys swiftly cut in front of her. She almost crashed into them, and it was a miracle she caught herself in time. The white jerseys however, ignored her, and she knew there was no way in hell they would have not noticed that she was there first. As the first one bent over to drink, she cleared her throat.

"Excuse me." The other boy turned around and she recognized him instantly. Hisashi Mitsui. He was smirking at her. 

"Yees?" he drawled, pointedly looking down on her to emphasize his height and upperclassman superiority.

"I think I got here first." She said, trying to keep her temper and voice under control. It wouldn't look good in Fuyutsuko-sensei's eyes if she started a fight here. She was clenching her fists so tightly that her nails were digging into her skin. His eyes were laughing mockingly at her. 

Mitsui's eyes narrowed. Who was this pushy freshman, anyway? A shirt under the jersey? Strange. Then he suddenly recalled the conversation he overheard between Fuyutsuko and Anzai-sensei. Yes, if he remembered it correctly, one of Tamigaoka's players for this practice game was a…girl. So this was the girl? But this person had a low voice, and he looked like a guy—one of those pretty boy types, yes, but the freshman looked like a guy nonetheless.

"Are you a girl or a guy?" he blurted out, in spite of himself. His companion choked on the water and Tsubasa could practically feel her blood pressure rising.

"What kind of idiotic question is that?!" she demanded. His eyes strayed over her chest area. "And where do you think you're looking at, AHOU!" unable to control herself, she raised her hand to slap him (she was going to kick him in the shin but she changed her mind—he might get injured) but he caught her wrist before her palm could connect with his face. 

"Looks like this will be an easy win. With you as point guard and everything." His smirk grew wider. Tsubasa rolled her eyes at this comment. What a male chauvinist swine! If he thought he could scare her through this, he had another thing coming.

"We'll see. But you better prepare yourself." She said in an underhanded tone, then mirrored Mitsui's grin with a touch of sarcasm in for good measure. Tsukiyama-sempai was already approaching them. They backed off from each other and they were both smiling weirdly. 

So, Takeishi's star player had a lousy personality. She wondered if he felt slighted at the fact that they were letting a girl in what was supposed to be a man-to-man game. Oh well, whatever. Then she saw Mitsui already bending over the water fountain. 

"Oh no you won't!" she yelled, kicking him on his rear and sending him sprawling onto the floor. The whole Tamigaoka team burst into laughter, even some of the Takeishi players as well. Mitsui's  eyes were practically shooting daggers at her as he heaved himself up. She just shrugged and simply smiled. "What can I do? Ladies first." 

"Oi, Yamazaki, that's no way to treat our visitors." Tsukiyama-sempai was saying, hiding a smile behind his hand. 

"Haaaaai." Tsubasa nodded, after taking a long drink from the water fountain. She exchanged a look with Mitsui that clearly said that they would be taking this fight to the court. 

----

"What the heck was THAT about Yamazaki?" 

"Nothing. He didn't know how to use the water fountain and asked me to teach him, and I refused. He got a little mad, that's all."

"Yeah, right!" Kagaiwa, the team's playing power forward, scoffed. "I hear that star player's is quite the Mr. Personality. He probably feels insulted that we have you as our point guard. Ignore him, Yamazaki-kun." 

"Hai, sempai." 

"You guys, don't talk about them as if they weren't in the same court!" Tsukiyama was saying in annoyance. "Oh yeah, and don't underestimate Mitsui." He added, almost as an afterthought. The team quieted as Fuyutsuko-sensei approached and they began discussing their plan. 

Throughout this whole time, Rukawa was merely watching. The video cam was lying silently in his hands. Suddenly, Tsubasa extricated herself from the group and sat beside him. She grinned as she ruffled his hair affectionately.

"Hope you didn't videotape that water fountain incident. Ma will have me pulled out of the team for sure!" she laughed, bending over to tie her loosened shoelaces.

"Don't worry, I didn't." 

"That pig." She shook her head, and he saw her face set with determination. She glanced up and saw Mitsui was making faces at her across the court. She gave him the finger. "Don't look at him. He just wants attention." She told Rukawa, sighing. 

"Ne, Kaede-chan?" 

"Hai."

"I know this practice game against one of the best teams in the prefecture would be fun…demo ne…" she tapped her fingers against her chin thoughtfully. "It would be more fun for me if you were in the team, too. Or even playing against you."

Rukawa stared at her. 

Tsubasa laughed sheepishly. "Ah. Maybe it's because I'm used in doing everything with you. This practice game is very important to me, and it feels a little weird, with you just watching in the sidelines." She brightened. "Next year, when you're in the team too, I'll ask sensei to let me play in one of the practice games again! We won't lose if we're both in the same team!" 

"Yamazaki! Line up!" Tsukiyama called out. Tsubasa stood up and he suddenly realized that she was holding his hand all along. She squeezed his hand and let it go before running back to the team. 

----

Author's notes: ooookay! I'll stop here for now before this chapter gets too long. -_-; To all the Mitsui fans out there (especially my friend, rabid Mitsui fan Z) HONTO NI GOMEN NA SAI! But I couldn't help it; I just made up this jr. high version of Micchan for my own enjoyment. Sorry for being so evil. But at least Micchy's an angel now. Please don't flame/kill me about it. Please? Anyways, up ahead: Mitsui vs. Yamazaki! What did they order at Dante's Inferno? What the hell happened to Tsubasa's legs? More answers (or more questions) up next! I watched Movie 4 for the first time yesterday and realized a terrible mistake—Tomigaoka has RED uniforms, not purple! As I'm too lazy to go back and change the whole chapter three because I said purple and not red, I will just apologize and admit my mistake. Sorry for that slip. 


	5. Remember

----

The players of both teams positioned themselves accordingly, with the referee standing in the middle, holding the ball aloft with both hands. He put the whistle to his lips…

…and threw the ball upward, blowing his whistle as he did so.

The game begins now.

----

OVERTURE

_Wasn't it true? Do you remember like I do…_

Standard disclaimers apply. Geh. What a boring disclaimer. :p I don't own anything other than this fanfic itself, and the other characters you have never heard of before. Tsukiyama-sempai, is especially mine, too. Muahahaha. Thank you for all those who have reviewed, namely: Dark Phoenix, Maria, Eni, -={EniGmaTic}=-, Nayen, and of course, nightjade and Ran&Van_fan. You people make my day, thank you again for your kind reviews.

----

Two players leapt in the air, arms outstretched, reaching for the ball. Tsukiyama's open palm made contact with the ball a split second before the other center. No one opposite him was open—he quickly realized the opposite team tensing against his own teammates, anticipating Tsukiyama-sempai to push the ball directly toward them.

"Sempai!" he heard Tsubasa's voice ring out behind him. Gritting his teeth in concentration, he twisted his wrist, taking full control of the ball. Turning his body slightly to the left, his right arm made a sweeping arc and sent the ball flying through the air, over his shoulder and…

…straight into Tsubasa's hands. Without another thought, she raced across the court before anyone could stop her, the ball dribbling frantically under her hand. 

"So quick!" Mitsui heard one of his teammates cry out. Narrowing his eyes, he ran as hard as he could after the escaping Tsubasa. In fact he was running so fast that he left his comrades behind, who shouted encouragements to him to go on. He saw her skid to a stop, her body tensing as she prepared for the all-too-familiar three-point shot. 

"Too ambitious!" Mitsui yelled, swiveling in front of her, arms outstretched. Her eyes registered surprise as he did so and was replaced by determination. Their feet jumped off the court instantaneously. He suddenly noticed that her form was inclined backward. Tsukiyama's heart jumped to his throat. Could Tsubasa make it? 

Tsubasa smiled sweetly at Mitsui. "First point!" she said, before throwing and pulling off a successful fade away shot. 

"Three points." Rukawa muttered under his breath, as the Tomigaoka team cheered. Fuyutsuko-sensei was beaming from the sidelines. Tsubasa was openly smirking at a very pissed Mitsui before running back to the opposite court for defense. 

"Damn hermaphrodite." Mitsui spat. He was going to make sure he returned the favor.

----

"So? Who won the game?" Ryota asked, the blueberry cheesecake lying forgotten on his plate. The whole description of the game took up most of the dinner, and it was only then did the waiter start taking their plates. Mitsui and Hanamichi even had asked for seconds, much to Ryota's dismay. He kept on giving Tsubasa apologetic looks but she just kept on nodding with a pleasant look on her face, not saying a word.

Tsubasa tapped her fork lightly on her own plate. "Tomigaoka did, of course." 

"What do you mean by 'of course'?! You won by a measly three points!" Mitsui protested, stabbing his own dessert in the process. He could recall clearly. The three points were contributed no other than Tsubasa herself.

"But it was a very good game. The opposing team was tough." She replied diplomatically.

"It was an okay game until you came up and said, 'I'm a better player than you'." Mitsui said accusingly. He could never forget the moment she did. Four teammates had to stop him from retaliating violently against her. 

"I wouldn't have said that if you didn't say," Tsubasa adopted a voice that unnervingly sounded like a guy's, "'If you weren't a girl, I would have considered you as my rival.'" She furrowed her brow at the memory. "Hearing something like that—did you really think I would be flattered?"

"Ha ha! Mitchy, you were such a jerk back then! Ha ha ha!" Hanamichi laughed hysterically, pointing at a quite embarrassed Mitsui. 

"Maa…shut up Hanamichi. Your laugh attracts everyone's attention." Ryota whispered, half-covering his face with his right hand. Sure enough, the other patrons of the restaurant were staring at them. Tsubasa merely smiled at them, much to Hanamichi's relief.

Ryota was looking at Tsubasa's face. _I remember her now, _he thought to himself. He had watched a women's basketball game during his junior high days and one of the playing teams were Tomigaoka. Her team was leading by thirty points and she was indeed a very skilled player. The dark-red hair and the strange green eyes were hard to miss. Plus, she really did look remarkably like a boy back then. In fact there were many girls watching that day because of Yamazaki, Tomigaoka's captain. In fact, his very own sister dragged him there to watch Yamazaki. His thoughts were distracted by a strange sound. 

Rukawa was snoring in his blueberry cheesecake.

Hanamichi burst into gales of laughter. 

Tsubasa grinned. "So he's still doing that, eh?" she said, pulling Rukawa up with one hand. With the other hand, she swiped some unused tissues from the table and began to wipe his face with deft, regular strokes. She did this so quickly and unceremoniously that when people turned to look at them, Rukawa looked perfectly normal, except that he was sleeping with a slightly sticky face.

"He must be getting in a lot of trouble because of this weird occurrences of narcolepsy." She sighed, picking up her fork again. 

"You haven't seen the half of it. It's a miracle he hasn't seriously injured himself yet." Ryota agreed. Hanamichi was still laughing.

"He never really had much stamina to begin with." She said, and her eyes turned a little soft at the recollection. "When we were little, all he wanted to do was basketball. He didn't want to do any other exercise if it wasn't related to basketball. He didn't want to go out of the house. He didn't want to play tennis. If we went swimming he usually sank like a rock in the pool, straight to the bottom." 

"Really? That's interesting." Hanamichi nodded, mentally adding it to his _Ten Thousand Ways to Kill Rukawa Kaede _list. 

"Aside from basketball he doesn't go out of the house?" Ryota whistled. "No wonder he's so pale." 

"I've never seen anyone sleep like that before I got in the team." Mitsui remarked, leaning forward on the table, resting his chin against one hand. "Is that like a disease or something?" 

"I sure hope not!" Tsubasa laughed at this notion. "I suppose…" she reflected a bit, and a painful memory could be seen behind her eyes. "I suppose he got it from me. I used to that to do that too when I still played…" here her voice dropped into a whisper. "…that game." 

Mitsui saw that look, and he recognized it. 

Pain and regret.

"So you're related to Rukawa—you're like cousins or something." Ryota was saying. Hanamichi had a sympathetic expression on his face—like being related to Rukawa was a tragic story. 

"That's the only reason I could think of for anyone would hang out with that kitsune." Hanamichi said, while Rukawa opened his eyes,  gave him a withering glare, and went back to sleep again.

"Shut up, Hanamichi!" Ryota hissed.

"Do'ahou." Rukawa murmured.

"Eh?" she blinked and thought for a moment, suddenly distracted from her thoughts. "Yes, we are, in a way, I suppose. Only we're rather distant cousins. Our mothers were distant cousins to begin with, but they were very good friends. That's how I got to know him." 

----

"That was a good game, ne?" Tsubasa asked Kaede as they rode their bikes home, right after their victory against Takeishi in the practice game. He nodded noncommittally. "And I beat that Mitsui jerk too! Ha ha!" she cried triumphantly, kicking up her bike in triumph. 

Kaede looked up to the trees and closed his eyes. "I can hear the wind." He said softly to himself. Tsubasa was riding a little way ahead of him and she looked back, smiling. 

"Kaede-chan," she said, returning beside him. "Next year we'll play together in one team. For sure!" 

He nodded, and she saw that his eyes were happy. And for that moment, life was simply wonderful for both of them.

When they got home, they dumped their bikes in the garage and went inside. Shigure probably wasn't home yet so there was no point in rushing in when there was no one waiting.

But they were mistaken. As they entered the house, they heard voices coming from the living room.  The first one was undoubtedly Shigure's, but the other one…Kaede stiffened. He knew that voice. He had forgotten everything else about her except for her voice.

_"You're going to meet a very dear friend of mine. Her name is Shigure, and you will be living with her and her little girl for a while…"_

"You should've called me earlier, even before you left America. I would've been more prepared if you did…Shizuka." 

Tsubasa's hands flew towards her mouth, shocked. She turned her eyes towards Kaede, who was as still as stone. His blue eyes were wide, disbelief etched on his face. They almost forgot to breathe. Shizuka had come back. 

_Is she going to take you away from me…Kaede-chan?_

"I meant to call you, but it's been so hectic lately." Yes, her voice had always been this soft and melodic. He could almost imagine her running her hands into her hair. He took a step forward, and Tsubasa had to fight the urge to pull him back. 

"You've been always too busy." There was a hint of anger in Shigure's voice.

"Is that a reprimand?" Shizuka laughed gently. Shizuka was laughing. Suddenly Kaede remembered that he had never heard his mother laugh before. It was an unhappy marriage with his father.

"I would like to think so." They heard Shigure say. "You have been here for a week and you never even told us, or even visited your son! You could have at least done that!" 

This last statement made Kaede stop in his tracks. Tsubasa was listening to the conversation with a somber face, her eyes rooted to the floor. 

"You've always been the better person between the two of us, Shigure." Shizuka said quietly. "When we were younger, I always thought that you would make a better mother than I could ever be."

"Don't use that as an excuse for leaving Kaede to me. Don't you know how unhappy he had been without you? Whatever you say, you will always be his mother, and even if I became the most perfect mother to him, I can never replace you." Frustration, anger, a hint of bitterness. Shigure said this rapidly, almost tripping over the words, saying something she had wanted to say for the longest time. She really did, all these years,  wish that Kaede was truly her son, for she had learned to love him all these years. And now…now Shizuka was going to take him away from her? Was it really that easy?

There was a long silence. They heard a muffled sob from Shigure. Kaede felt a lump forming in his throat. Shigure had been so kind to him, and loved him so much. He didn't recognize it until now. But his own mother…he didn't know what to feel. For the first time, he was confused about his feelings.

Then what Shizuka said chilled his heart.

"I'm not going to take Kaede with me." 

"What?" there was disbelief in Shigure's voice.

"Even though it is really not my decision to make, I don't intend on taking him back to America with me." 

"No! You can't do that, Shizuka!" Shigure protested. 

"He is loved here, Shigure. I am sure my son is happier here. And besides…" her voice sounded very sad. "I am not part of his world anymore." He had never answered her letters to him. Never.

Tsubasa was rooted on the spot, stunned at Shizuka's words. Kaede said those very same words. Then she heard the door slam behind her. She swiveled, and he was gone. Hearing the sound of the slamming door, Shigure and Shizuka appeared at the doorway of the living room. Shigure paled when she saw Tsubasa standing there. Then her eyes fell on the Shizuka, and her she almost forgot to breathe. Shizuka was beautiful. She was a tall woman, with beautiful golden hair that was heavy, curling at the tips, framing her face, which was delicate and moon-white. And her eyes were exactly like her son's. There was a lonely look in her eyes. 

"Tsubasa! Where is Kaede?" Shigure was asking, her voice trembling. Shizuka walked past her friend, and laid a graceful hand on Tsubasa's shoulder, gazing into the younger girl's eyes.

"Tsubasa!" Shigure called again.

Shizuka's eyes…so much like his. Tsubasa could read behind her gaze. Longing. And she understood. 

_Please bring him back._

Without another word, she turned around and left.

----

Kaede could hear his own footsteps, thudding dully against the ground, but he could not see where he was going. 

_It was always like this. Just like before. _

Tsubasa saw him, and called his name, but a great wind blew, and took her voice away. 

_Kaede…don't go where I can't find you!_

Overhead, the clouds gathered, and the sky darkened into a deep shade of gray. She picked up her feet, and ran after her. The wind blew more strongly, ruffling her dark red hair and whistling past her ears. She saw him pass the gate, and run down the pathway.

----

"It was my own fault." Shizuka told Shigure after Tsubasa left, still gazing at the door. "I was too afraid back then, to tell my husband that I had a child that I had left in Japan. I wanted so badly for this marriage to work out."

"I see now I was wrong. The price was too high…now I have lost everything." 

----

The rain was pouring heavily now, and Tsubasa's feet splashed against the ground. The street was deserted, and was eerily quiet, devoid even of passing cars. She began running again, and when she turned a corner, she found him there. The rain poured harder, so hard that it hurt her.

Kaede was staring up to the sky, illuminated by nothing save for the flash of lightning. His shoulders were drooped, defeated, his hands hanging lifelessly at his sides. The sound of the rain on the pavement was deafening. As if by instinct, he lowered his head and looked at her. That same lonely look in Shizuka's eyes. She took a few steps towards him, cautiously. 

"Tsubasa." He said. "Were you looking for me?" but the rain drowned out his words. If he were lost, would she always be looking for him?

She stopped an inch away from him, her face expressionless. Then she raised her hand and stuck a finger on his chest. He looked at her in surprise, and saw that she was angry. 

"Don't ever run away from me like that again!!" she yelled, clear enough to be heard above the rain, her green eyes burning. Then the anger faded from her eyes and her features crumpled into sadness. She closed her eyes and abruptly passed a hand over her face.

Was she crying? But Tsubasa never cried before. Not even when she was hurt so badly. Kaede paused in his thoughts, hesitating. Should he…? But she was crying. Was she crying for him? Slowly, carefully, he raised his hands and cupped her face delicately, as if she were something fragile. The wetness on her cheek was too warm to be rain. He was suddenly washed over by her comforting presence. Without realizing what he was doing, he leaned his forehead against hers. And neither of them moved from their position, as if frozen in time. 

"Is she happier without me, I wonder." Kaede said, after a time's length. She opened her eyes, silently contemplating his words.  

"That's not true, Kaede-chan." She told him, her voice quiet but sure. "You've never been more mistaken." The image of Shizuka appeared in her mind again. The woman who thought of her happiness before anyone else's. Was she trying to repay her mistake by thinking of Kaede's happiness?

"You have to go back. She's waiting for you." She said, choking back tears. 

"She doesn't want to take me back!" he cried, in a sudden burst of emotion that she had never seen before. His eyes were tightly shut, and his shoulders were tense, threatening to break down.

"That's a lie." She said simply, resignedly. The rain was so cold, but his hands were so warm on her face…

He drew back with these words and his eyes were unsure. She was waiting for his answer, his reaction, anything, ready to accept anything he said. It was not too late to go back. 

The rain on the pavement. The sound of his breathing. A stifled sob. The tears steaming down her face, seemingly endless…

Tsubasa felt she was about to lose everything. She remembered Shizuka. Was it so selfish, she asked herself, to want him here, to stay by her side? What about Shizuka? 

No. This kind of thinking was wrong.

_ I just want you to be happy._

He looked up to the sky. The rain was subsiding, the drops growing lighter, no longer hurting. But it was still raining. "I am. Right now." He said softly, but clearly. She realized she had just spoken aloud and he had heard her say those words. He pulled her cheeks.

"Owowowowow…don't do that!"

"Stop crying then." He said sternly. There was a tender light in his eyes that she failed to see. He looked up, over Tsubasa's shoulder, and saw a figure in black, holding an umbrella over her hazy golden hair, watching them from afar. 

A smile touched her lips. "That is why…" she murmured, and turned away. It was not yet time, but she knew there was still time in the future. She wiped a solitary tear from her cheek and quickened her pace, disappearing into the rain. __

----

The waiter had come with their bill. Tsubasa took it, and flipped it open, checking the price. Without batting an eye, she retrieved her wallet, drew out a gold-colored credit card with her tip, handed it together with the bill, smiled and thanked the waiter. The waiter bowed and smiled widely in return. Mitsui could not help but think how sophisticated she was, despite being a year younger than him.

Three hours had come and passed, and they already had talked about many things, mostly revolving around basketball. Tsubasa kept quiet most of the time, listening to their talk, watching the people from her window, the bobbing umbrellas in the rain. Beside her, Rukawa was still asleep, the poor destroyed cheesecake still sitting in front of him. All the plates have been cleared, replaced by beverages. Mitsui already had two cans of beer, while Ryota and Hanamichi ordered sodas. Tsubasa settled for cappuccino. Rukawa had water because he didn't order anything. 

"It sounds like your team is doing very well." She remarked as they were discussing their game against Shoyo. 

"Of course! With the tensai in the team, we can never lose!" guess who said that.

She wondered if she should say anything about their weak points that she had picked up in the course of their conversation, then decided against it. "How is Akagi-sempai? Is he doing well?"

All three simultaneously choked on their beverages, then launching into a coughing fit.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" she asked innocently.

"Oh…it's nothing!" Ryota replied, patting his chest. "We—we were just surprised at what you called Gori—I mean Akagi. No one calls him sempai in our team, you see."

"Why not?" her eyes looked thoroughly confused. "We are talking about the same Akagi Takenori here, aren't we? I'm sorry…I must be mistaken. Kaede-kun never tells me much about his team." she gestured helplessly at the sleeping Rukawa.

"Yes, it is Akagi Takenori." Mitsui nodded, quickly regaining his composure.

"Yes, and he has a pretty little sister, Haruko!" Tsubasa exclaimed triumphantly. 

"Yes, yes, yes! Haruko-san is pretty cute, ne?" Hanamichi had turned all googly-eyed, wandering in his dreams with his beautiful muse.

"She is going to be very beautiful in a few years." Tsubasa agreed, smiling. Hanamichi nodded eagerly. "I met them when I was in my second year at junior high." She blushed at the memory. "Haruko-chan was studying at Tomigaoka then, did you know that, Hanamichi-kun?"

"Unfortunately." Hanamichi grumbled, glaring at Rukawa.

"I was having troubles with my studies, because of the team." she went on, stirring the remains of the cappuccino. "I met Akagi-sempai while he was waiting for Haruko one day, and he told me that he was holding tutorial sessions for several students on Sundays. I often went to those tutorials with Kaede-kun—I always thought he and Haruko were a good match!" 

"N—NANI!?" 

Rukawa grunted in his sleep, turning a little to the left.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE! HARUKO-SAN IS NOT FOR THAT BAKA KITSUNEEE!" Hanamichi was screaming, and he had to be restrained by a red-faced Ryota. 

"Umm…is he alright?" she asked, glancing at Mitsui.

"Please ignore him." Mitsui said, sweatdropping. "He always goes a little nuts when Haruko's name is mentioned." 

"WHAT?! AND JUST WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, MICCHY—NO, HISSY!!"

"Teme—don't call me Hissy!" 

It took some time for things to settle down, and all three were expecting Tsubasa to reach her breaking point and slap the bill in their faces, yelling, "There! Pay for yourselves, you unrefined pigs!" Fortunately, she did no such thing. Instead she ordered herself another cup of cappuccino. When the waiter came with the second cup, he was edging cautiously away from the three boys. 

She smiled cheerfully at him. "Don't worry—they don't bite." 

"So you LIKED Akagi back then?" Ryota asked, just to keep the conversation on track. Although he couldn't help putting an incredulous note to it. With this Tsubasa gave a small nod, and even tried to hide her face behind her coffee cup. Mitsui made a funny noise in his throat that sounded like 'eurgh'. Hanamichi momentarily forgot about lunging at Rukawa to kill him once and for all and looked torn between laughing and vomiting.

"And why not?!" she demanded petulantly, the old Tsubasa Yamazaki of her basketball days resurfacing once again. "Okay, he may not be so good-looking but…" that was the last straw. Hanamichi, Mitsui and Ryota burst into thunderous laughter and even Tsubasa could not help smiling herself.

"…he is very gentle and kind." (hard to imagine Gori being 'gentle' though) I never even got to tell him my feelings before I left…" she began, trying to look serious, but her green eyes were dancing merrily.

"Good for you." Hanamichi snorted, wiping a tear from his eye. 

"If good old Gori can still attract girls like you, maybe it's not too late for us, Hanamichi!" Ryota said, in a sudden burst of renewed hope. 

"Oh that's right, Ryochin!" Hanamichi and Ryota began doing a little dance right then and there. (Wonder what they looked like? As Kaji said, "It looks like the dance between the wild crane and monkey…")

"Idiots." Mitsui muttered softly to himself, finishing his beer. His eyes fell on the clock, and the hands indicated that it was already nearing midnight. His sharp eyes perceived that Tsubasa was quite tired. But when she saw him looking she smiled brightly, as if telling him not to worry about her.

But she could not deceive him. "Well," he began, stretching his arms. "How about if we call it a night? We still have school tomorrow and I'm sure you're sick of our faces by now, Tsubasa-san." 

"Oh, no, not really." Tsubasa shook her head. "Maybe just a little." She joked.

"I suppose Mitsui is right." Ryota said, grinning lopsidedly, as he shook her hand warmly. "Thank you for the dinner, Tsubasa-san." 

"Yeah, I hope Rukawa becomes more like you in the future." Hanamichi said, making Tsubasa laugh. 

"That's too much to wish for, I think, Hanamichi-kun." 

"Thank you for the dinner, Tsubasa-san." Hanamichi said in a formal tone that surprised Mitsui and Ryota out of their skulls. 

Tsubasa nodded. "Thank you for the wonderful evening." 

Hanamichi blushed a little. "This almost feels like a date, eh? Only I have to share it with three other people!" Mitsui and Ryota gave him that what-is-that-supposed-to-mean look. 

"So I guess we owe you a debt now, don't we?" Ryota asked, smiling.

"Hm." She thought about it for a minute. "I'll only be staying a little over a week." Then an idea hit her. "Just transfer it to Kaede-kun. Promise me that you'll put up with him, even though you'd want to punch his head in." 

"Being…" Mitsui began.

"nice to…" Ryota added, blanching.

"…THAT BAKA KITSUNE?!" 

"Or shall I just tell you what the whole dinner cost me?" she was smiling evilly now, reaching for the pocket where she had put the bill.

"Anyway, it's no problem! Ahahahaha!" Ryota gave in, elbowing the other two. "Rukawa might be a cold fish, but we get along with him quite well!" 

"Says you and what army?" Hanamichi grumbled, resulting into a stronger jab from Ryota. 

"Okay, we promise, Tsubasa-san!" Mitsui said rapidly, feeling the 'evil aura' emanating again from her. _Honestly, she can be so nice when she wants to…but she can be so scary and manipulative sometimes! _He had met Tsubasa after that fateful practice game, and they always bickered when they did. He knew what she was like.

As if on cue, the attending waiter came up with Tsubasa's wheelchair. Almost simultaneously, the three boys offered to help her out of her seat. But before they can move an inch, Rukawa gave a snort, suddenly stood up, and swept Tsubasa off her seat before anyone else could.

"Aren't you supposed to go home now?" he asked them flatly, a very confused-looking Tsubasa in his arms.

"You were sleeping like the dead. Too bad you're not." Hanamichi grumbled, which makes me wonder if he carries a little black book in his pocket containing insults tailor made for Rukawa. Rukawa did not bother replying and deposited Tsubasa onto her wheelchair. Their eyes met for a brief moment and she quickly looked away, feeling strangely embarrassed for some reason. If Rukawa noticed this, he said nothing about it.

"We'll accompany you outside until you get a taxi." Mitsui was saying and she barely had time to nod. She sucked her thumb absently, thinking, as they exited the restaurant, the headwaiter thanking them profusely as they did, out of relief that they finally left or genuine gratitude, none of them really knew.

----

"Thanks again for the dinner, Tsubasa."

"No problem, Mitsui-san.  Just remember our deal!"

"Wish we didn't have to." 

"…………………"

"Goodnight. Thanks again." 

"Goodnight, Ryota-kun, Hanamichi-kun. We'll be on our way, then. Ja mata!" 

"Mata ne." the three chorused before the taxi drove away into the muggy night. Tsubasa even grabbed Rukawa's hand and forced him wave, jokingly, to Hanamichi as the car pulled away.

"I can't believe she's even remotely related to Rukawa." Ryota commented as they began to walk home. "Even more unbelievable is that she is the same Yamazaki that I saw in that basketball game three years ago."

"Eh? What are you talking about? Tsubasa-san was a basketball player?" Hanamichi asked, hurrying to catch up with them.

"Baka, weren't you even listening? Don't you know? Yamazaki was a very famous female basketball player back then. She was the captain of the team that won the women's inter-high, landing in first place."

"Well, she didn't mention anything!" Hanamichi shot back defensively.

"Whenever the topic was brought up, she always changed the subject." Ryota said, shrugging. "I am surprised at you, Hanamichi. She was popular even outside the prefecture."

"She was like the female version of Rukawa back then." Mitsui added. Despite past rivalry, he had to admit that she was a very good player.

"Female version of Rukawa…hmmm…Rukawa with boobs and long hair…" Hanamichi murmured, making a sick face at the idea. 

"You better not be thinking what I think you're thinking." Ryota looked disgusted. "Mitsui meant that she was as good as Rukawa when she first played in a team!"

"As good as Rukawa? Hmm… She's not very good then." Hanamichi went on murmuring.

"Eh…he's hopeless." Mitsui sweatdropped. He glanced at Ryota, who was shaking his head at Hanamichi's vanity. "I suppose she stopped because of that accident." 

"I was about to ask you about that." Ryota kicked a littered can along the way, narrowly missing a stray cat, making it screech and bolt above the trashcans, making a racket along the way. "What do you think happened to her that made her end up like that?"

"Why are you asking ME?" Mitsui asked, pointing to himself. "We weren't even friends back then! All I knew was…" here his face became troubled. "…she suddenly disappeared before her team competed in the championship games. A lot of people thought she moved away, but I never imagined that something terrible like this happened to her…"

----

"Everything is the same but different." Tsubasa murmured to herself as they passed by the streets that she used to run into, and the shops she frequently visited three years ago. Only the streetlights illuminated them now, as most of them had closed down as it was nearing midnight. Strangely familiar, nostalgic in a way and veiled in sadness, her old neighborhood, through her eyes. 

Rukawa closed his eyes, trying to go to sleep, but much to his surprise, he found that he could not. And that had never happened before. The lively light in her eyes was gone now, replaced with something that was wistful and sad at the same time.

"Look at that, Kaede-kun." She would suddenly say, pointing at something, but when he looked, it was already gone. "You missed it." She then would lean back, a regretful note in her voice, but she never did tell him what it was.

They lapsed into the loud, deafening silence again. The driver did not seem to be in the mood to be friendly, and wished that this last trip would be over.

"Kaede-kun."

"What."

The words she was about to say froze in her mind momentarily and the chill in his voice took her aback. His blue eyes were distant, refusing to look at her. He had never been a talkative person, but he was never like this before. It was like the old Kaede she knew had been locked up somewhere, unreachable, behind those frozen eyes.

"We had a nice dinner, didn't we?" she asked, trying to sound cheerful. He said nothing. "Even though it's obvious you didn't enjoy it because you were asleep most of the time." Still, no reaction. "Your teammates are very nice people, even though they are silly sometimes." Why was she babbling on like this? But Rukawa was still quiet, not batting an eyelash. "It was expensive too…" she sighed regretfully.

"Still, it was all worth it." He felt the car slow down at the intersection, the traffic light flashing red. Her eyes were still dwelling outside, her jade eyes glittering softly from the warm lights coming from the lampposts. "Because these are the people you spend many hours with…" 

"…Knowing them makes me feel like I know more about you now. Even when you hide yourself away from me." She said clearly, honestly. 

Outside, the red lights switched back to green. 

Something briefly flickered in Rukawa's eyes as he shifted his gaze to her, and when he did, he saw that she was already watching him with her solemn, knowing look. It was like she saw everything in him. Then her face broke into a gentle smile, and with a slight nod, she went back to watching the passing establishments.

Perhaps it was not only he who had changed. This perceptive look in her eyes, the air of self-possession, the proud tilt of her chin, the eloquent light in those pools of green. No, they were never there before. 

For him, the chill in his ways and manner, the impassive stance that no one could sway, the uncaring demeanor that no one could touch. No one knew, that despite appearances, he was never this way before. 

One has grown in the snowfields, its petals touched with frost; one has blossomed among the thorns and weeds, surviving, by mere will, always hanging in a balance.

What happened, to both of them, these past three years?

----

O_O I am honestly shocked with myself. I finally finished Chapter Five! So surprised that I can't even think of something witty to say. It was very hard to write.  -_-; I took a few artistic liberties with some of the details, perhaps you can see what I mean. ;)   Ureshikatta. T_T I'm so happy. Anyway, while Mitsui and co. are out dining, I'm going out on a date with Sendoh!

Sendoh: Why do I always get myself in situations like this? sweatdrop

Yui: OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO~~! drags Sendoh away

Sendoh: Oi, didn't you promise the readers that you would answer the questions you asked in the last chapter?

Yui: ^^; Slight change of plans. glares at Sendoh And who are you, anyway? My date or my editor?? Anyway, gotta go now. Thanks for reading. Oh I would also like to thank the Corrs (WHAT?!) for providing inspiration for little weird me. See? I'm so weird I'm even thanking them!


	6. What Can I Do?

-----

_What can I do to make you love me?_

_What can I do to make you care?_

_What can I say to make you feel this?_

_What can I do to get you there?_

-----

OVERTURE

*Yui runs in, bedraggled and dirty, clutching a sheaf of papers in one hand, a pen in another. She collapses and looks up slowly and painfully.

Yui: H—here is…ch—chapter s..six! I'm so sorry it took s—so long to…finish! Forgive me… ;_;

*Sendoh walks in and takes the papers from Yui's hand.

Sendoh: Yui-chan would like to thank the following: Maria, nefertiri, starshadow, nightjade [whom she kicks occasionally], aNgeL~oF~daRkNEsS [tissues?—sorry for the sad stuff!], little mermaid, radjin, Yuki Oken [who really ought to buy better Internet cards], and shiJoU [yes, Yui is Pinoy. Don't let her bad influence get to you!] She hopes that you guys haven't forgotten about her fic yet. Ne, Yui-chan, why don't you write fics about ME? (smiles cutely) 

Yui: Urusai, Sendoh no baka! Why don't you help me get up here first before anything else.

Sendoh: (goofy grin) Yes, boss!

Yui: Don't call me boss!

Sendoh: Sure, boss.

Yui: Stupid hedgehog…just read on everyone, and ignore him. You might get infected with his weirdness!

----

"Could you please just wait for a while? My companion is just going to get his things." Tsubasa was saying as Rukawa slammed the car door behind him, making his way toward his house.

"Sure, but it's gonna cost you extra." The driver replied nonchalantly. Tsubasa was about to argue then she decided that he probably deserved it, being kind enough into agreeing to drive them around this time of the night. Then again it could be the dangerous looks Mitsui, Hanamichi and Ryota gave him before they went in the car that made the driver agree. Somehow she had a feeling those three weren't the type people should meddle with.

Rukawa's house. She watched him take a key out of his wallet and let himself in the door. It looked exactly the same when she first saw it, and noted, with some satisfaction, that Rukawa wasn't neglecting its maintenance. Shizuka had bought this house for him, and that was one of the reasons why she visited them in the first place. It was a beautiful house, but it was too big for just one person to live in. And he—he was living by himself for the past three years. 

_It was lonely, wasn't it, Kaede-kun?_

Was that why he wanted to stay at their old house instead of his own residence? He was hiding from her…so many things…just thinking of it made her heart ache. Thinking of him living alone made her remember, her own days in America. Shigure was often away, working, and she was left to her home studies, refusing her mother's offer to hire a nurse, wanting to prove that she could handle her disability. Tsubasa knew loneliness for the first time. During those days, she had always thought of him, and whenever she thought of him, she cried and cried.

But seeing him the way he was now was a more terrible loneliness than she could have ever imagined.  

She saw Rukawa coming out of the door again, a backpack strapped on his back, and two sports bags in one hand. She focused her eyes back to the house, and yes, it was as beautiful and elegant as she had first seen it. But there was something about the it that keenly reminded her of Rukawa himself—for despite its beauty, there was a dispirited, haunted feeling to it. 

He loaded the bags in the trunk and went in the car. With a sigh, the driver started the engine. She looked at Rukawa's face and it was impassive, just as always. His features had changed so much, she thought. He surely stands out among the crowd. And, based on Hanamichi's jealousy, and the way Ryota and Mitsui talked about Rukawa, he was obviously quite popular. Especially with the women, perhaps? But of course, how could it be any other way?

How was his basketball playing, she wondered. She heard that he was a very good basketball player, and in fact she always dreamed of seeing him play, but a part of her always said no. No, no, no—it repeated, insistently, urgently. 

If she watched him play, she would be reminded of how things could have been for her. 

The silence was unbearable. She didn't want to think of those things anymore. Her eyes fell on Rukawa's hands, which were so white that they almost glowed in the darkness of the car's interior. She shifted her eyes from his hands to hers, comparing their sizes. His hands were so large, compared to hers. Still not believing it, she grabbed his wrist, holding up his open palm, much to Rukawa's surprise. Not thinking about what she was doing, she put her palm against his, to compare the size more accurately. Seeing the differences, he was astonished as well. He could practically fold his fingers over hers! It hadn't been like that before. There was an unreadable expression in her green eyes and she let go of his hands.

"You _have _grown up so much, Kaede-kun." She said softly. "Grown up that you feel like a completely different person." Looking up, she instructed the driver where to turn in order to arrive at their house. What did she mean? Was she disappointed in him? Was she THAT surprised? He couldn't understand her. He looked at his upturned hand, and with his other hand, began tracing the outline where she had put her palm against his. It was warm, just like his memories of her.

----

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" Tsubasa cried when she opened her locker the next morning after Tomigaoka's triumph over Tsukubu's women's basketball team. Kaede, standing next to her, knew very well what she was shouting about.

Love letters. Both from men and women.

Blushing, Tsubasa grabbed the pile of letters and began to filter them out, saying things like, "I know this girl—she used to be my classmate in grade school!" or "And who on earth is this?! I've never heard of him before!" Out of all the love letters, only three were from boys. All the rest were from females.

"You're not being very sensitive." Kaede commented as he began looking through his own pile of love letters in search for the books buried under it. The love letters had grown in number ever since he had entered the basketball team. Even he didn't realize the extent of his popularity. Some of the letters in his pile were  even from girls from other schools.

"Shut up!" she spluttered, embarrassed that he should remind her about what she used to remind him. "This is different! I'm—I'm a girl! I shouldn't be receiving these things from other girls!" 

"Ohayo, Yamazaki-san!" three girls' voice chorused behind her as she spoke. Tsubasa knew those voices all too well. Yuriko, Kei and Akari—three annoying girls who insisted on following her around, for some bizarre reason. They attended Tsubasa's games and always screamed the loudest. Kei even sported the same haircut as Tsubasa's, which Kaede privately thought was rather freaky.

"Uh…ohayo?" Tsubasa greeted uncertainly.

The greeting encouraged the three. "You were so cool, Yamazaki-san!" Yuriko gushed, clasping her hands in front of her. "Even if they tried to zone press you, you still managed to elude them every time!"

"Really? I…um…didn't notice." Tsubasa replied, slowly backing away. Zone press? The girl did her research. Not bad, Kaede mused.

"You practically manipulated the whole game in your favor! You're wonderful!" Kei added, smiling widely. 

"Not really…besides…manipulative is such a strong word…" Tsubasa looked very uncomfortable. She looked like a playboy, surrounded by girls like this.

"Everyone admires you so much! I even heard that a popular girl's magazine wants to feature you in one of their articles! If they do, we'll be sure to get a copy!" Akari screeched excitedly. 

"That's nice. Well, we really have to go now. Let's go, Kaede-chan!"  she zoomed away before the three could say anything else, clutching Kaede's hand. He had never seen her so flustered before.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

As soon as they set foot on the hallway leading to the classrooms, people stopped and stared at them. The super rookie of the men's basketball team and the captain of the women's team! Suddenly they were applauding them, cheering, whistling and waving. 

"Look, it's the Neko [trans: Cat] captain of the Tomigaoka women's basketball team!" 

"Woo hoo! Go, Neko! Go, go, Neko!" one chanted.

"Hurrah for the Neko!" 

"Yamazaki-san, Rukawa-san, you're both wonderful!!" 

"N—neko…?" Tsubasa echoed, one eyebrow twitching. "Don't call me that!" she yelled, turning red. She didn't like adulation so much. Tsubasa had been nicknamed 'Neko' on the court because of her speed, agility and manipulative personality while playing. It also helped that she had green eyes to go along with everything else. People from other schools called her 'Black Cat' for her trademark black shirt that she always wore under her jersey uniform and devastating offensive play. No one could quite believe Tomigaoka's women's basketball team was a newcomer to the scene. "No, no! Stop applauding! It's not like I won the Nobel Peace Prize!"  

"Rukawa-san is so cool and quiet, isn't he?" the students whispered to one another. "He is a little scary sometimes." Likewise, Kaede was also growing popular by the second, not only to the students, but in the basketball scene as well. He had his own set of admirers, only they were too intimidated by him to say anything, even congratulate him. Tsubasa was so much more approachable.

On their way to the classroom, Tsubasa was still grumbling "But I'm a girl!" after being handed love letters from two more girls. "Maybe you want them, Kaede-chan…?" she asked hopefully, turning to him.

"I have more than enough." He responded flatly. With a groan, she ran her hand through her hair, looking disgruntled—and handsome and beautiful at the same time.

"Yamazaki-sempai!" a familiar-sounding female voice cried behind them. Swiveling on one foot, Tsubasa turned to see Akagi Haruko, a freshman and Kaede's classmate. She was also in the basketball team, a regular member at that, too.

"Oh, Haruko." Tsubasa greeted, secretly sighing in relief that it was not Yuriko or Kei or Akari. "Ohayo." 

"Ohayo, Rukawa-kun." Haruko greeted her classmate, blushing. He gave her a slight nod in reply. "Ummm…anyway, sempai!" she turned her attention back to a smiling Tsubasa. "My oniichan is asking if you will be able to attend tutorial classes this Sunday." 

"Your brother?" Tsubasa repeated, apparently caught off guard. "Asking about me? Why?" 

Haruko shrugged. "I don't know why, really. I just know he asked."

Now it was Tsubasa's turn to blush. "Ahhh…err…" she began, obviously at a loss. Kaede knew very well that she had a crush on Akagi Takenori, although in no stretch of imagination could he think why. "We have a special training this Sunday, don't you recollect, Haruko-chan?" 

"Oh!" Haruko slapped her palm against her forehead. "I almost forgot! Gomen ne, captain!" 

"That's alright." Tsubasa smiled gently. "I guess you already know the answer to your brother's question, eh?" Haruko nodded, and Kaede could've sworn Tsubasa sounded a little disappointed. Akagi Takenori. Yuck. How disgusting.

_I'm a hell lot better than him…_

Haruko said goodbye, and ran off. When she was out of earshot, Tsubasa turned to Kaede and flung her arms around him, laughing happily as she hugged him tightly. Her green eyes were dancing, looking into his. Her face was so close to his that if he tried he could almost…

…kiss her.

"He asked about me!! Did you hear that, Kaede-chan?! He asked about me!" she giggled girlishly, which was uncharacteristic of her. "He really did! I'm so happy!" she buried her head on his shoulder, still wearing that silly smile and let him go. When she stepped out at an arm's reach, her disheveled hair and blush made her look not a smidgen like a man. Suddenly he felt like a huge elephant just trampled on him. Make that two elephants.

"I'm late for class. See you later, Kaede-chan!" she sang, practically skipping in her way, randomly greeting people she met as she went. But suddenly she paused and glanced back at him. "Why don't you try talking to Haruko, even for a little while? She's very nice." 

He couldn't believe it. She was even trying to pair him up with Haruko! For a moment, he just looked dumbly at her, and finally he was able to say, "I thought you didn't like girls." 

Tsubasa stuck out her tongue. "Baaka!" she retorted, making a face before going on her way.

----

Yes, her nickname was 'Neko' back then. Every time he watched her play, it seemed so easy and graceful. It was like she was dancing. She was always smiling to her teammates, even if they were having a hard time in the game. Her green eyes would be glittering, and he had always loved her technique at playing—she was there, and suddenly she was not. No one could keep up with her.

Who knew basketball was so much like life?

_Someday we'll play in one team together, Kaede-chan, even if it is just a practice game. For sure! _

_Yakusoku suru._ I promise!

Had she forgotten about her promise? Everyday it felt like she was slipping past him, little by little. 

_I'm in a hurry, Kaede-chan. _

Today Shigure reminded Tsubasa of her interview with this girl's magazine. Apparently Tsubasa's exploits have caught the media's eye. She didn't want to go, but her mother persuaded her. She said she was a good role model for the aspiring athletes of her generation. Or so the magazine editor said. 

_Gomen ne, Kaede-chan. I can't come home with you today._

Tsubasa said that she was going to arrange their practice game with Fuyutsuko-sensei but she never did get around to it. Their team was doing remarkably well, and they were on their way to being champions of the prefecture, she had to train her team members. In addition to that, she was looking for a new team manager because the old one had changed schools. She also had to train herself, but they never did train again together after the women's basketball team was formed. Kaede practiced with his own team, and she practiced with hers. They had little time for anything else.

_I'm in a hurry, Kaede-chan._

Everyday people surrounded her, and she had to make room for them too. She had to help other players of her team, even the benchwarmers. She had to make room for her mother, Shigure. Very little was left for him.

_Gomen ne, Kaede-chan. I still have to study…_

She had to keep up her grades, help her teammates who were doing poorly in their studies. She had to study hard in exams, and even though she also helped him with his studies, he felt that it wasn't the same.

_I'm in a hurry, Kaede-chan._

Did her promise to him mean nothing now?

----

Rukawa had fallen asleep on the couch, now at Shigure's house. She had just fixing her things in her bedroom and fixing his things in his, which took about two hours. Tsubasa wasn't sure why, but for the one moment he was standing over it, then at the next, he was already sleeping. He must have collapsed or something. She wheeled herself over and poked him. "Oy, Kaede-kun." She called. "Shouldn't you wash your face and change your clothes first?" but only his snores answered her.

"Wow, he's hopeless. And to think he already slept in the restaurant." Tsubasa sighed, studying Rukawa's sleeping face. Her expression softened as she did. _He looks more like as I remembered him, _she thought. The stony visage melted away when he slept, and he looked so vulnerable, just like a child. Just as her first memory of him.

"Kaede…chan…" she whispered softly, admiring the stark contrast between his black hair and white skin. She had always teased him about being the male Snow White. He hated that. She chuckled at the memory, but at the same time it brought home a stabbing pain. Why was he like this now, so cold and indifferent? Was it her fault? 

As she was gazing at him, a flash of pain passed over his peaceful face. He suddenly shouted out, in a voice full of agony, taking in sharp intakes of breath. Tsubasa froze, too surprised to do anything.

Then, behind shut eyes, tears began to fall.

She looked on with wide, disbelieving eyes. Kaede was…crying? It cannot be, it was impossible! But it was true—his head was collapsed against the pillow, his hands curled into fists, and silent tears kept on streaming down his cheeks. She drew closer and tentatively reached out her hand, running her fingers across his cheek, beautifully smooth and pale, christened with tears.

Tsubasa watched him with confused eyes.

_Why…why are you crying?_

At her touch, Rukawa's eyes opened. He looked at her for a moment that felt like an eternity. Surprise, tenderness and longing surfacing in his eyes before sinking again in his impassive gaze. Then she realized that she was still touching his face, and suddenly felt embarrassed, quickly withdrawing her hand, as if she had been burned. He slowly drew himself up, his intense blue eyes never leaving her. 

"Aaa…I woke you up! I'm sorry!" she quickly apologized, smiling weakly, her heart hammering wildly against her chest. He studied her for a few more moments before speaking.

"What's wrong?" he asked, making her jump. Even the sound of his own voice in the quiet room sounded alien and strange to him. Then he realized it was because he never asked that question to anyone before.

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong!" she laughed weakly. Why was she so nervous? He wondered. "Absolutely nothing's wrong. Go back to sleep!" 

"Nani? You were touching my face, like this." He said, an accusing note in his voice, placing a hand over one cheek to prove his point. His eyes widened when he felt the cold wetness on his skin. He looked questioningly at Tsubasa, who simply nodded in reply, her eyes solemn. 

_Was I…? _

In one swift motion he wiped his tears away, almost in anger.

_What is this? I don't cry. I never cry…_

But he knew it was a lie, a complete lie. He cried often without his knowledge, without his control. They came unbidden, unasked for, in his sleep, in his dreams, in his waking hours… 

The way memories did. 

----

He watched her perform a clean lay-up shot, watched her shout out instructions to her teammates, watched her as she praise some, correct others. Indeed she was a very good team captain. Always kind, but not too soft as to be coddling. Encouraging, lively, always filled with spirit, not afraid to admit her mistakes, few as they were, if she made them. 

She was so good at this. She loved playing her part. She wouldn't exchange it for anything else in the world.

So why did he dislike her so much when he watched her like this? 

It was the fourth day that she failed to walk home with him today. She didn't say anything to him yesterday, not even a word of apology. In fact she wasn't even speaking to him lately. Winning the prefecture tournament had taken its toll. She was training as she had never trained before, constantly pushing herself and the rest of the team on. He understood that, he understood that perfectly, as he was also a basketball player himself training for the inter-high. But still he was angry with her, for ignoring him like this. In fact he wasn't watching at her. He was glaring at her.

A small _meow _caught his attention. Thankful for the distraction from his thoughts, he turned to direction where the sound came from. He didn't know if the Fates were playing tricks on him, but heaven forbid, it was a black cat, sitting across his feet, its bright green eyes looking at him. Did everything he ran by had to remind him of her?

Neko…Tsubasa's nickname. He could see the similarities between the cat and her. He crouched down and held out his hand.

"Meow." He said flatly. "Meow meow."  (if he seriously thinks he can call a cat like that, he's crazy.)

The cat stared at him for a moment. Then with a languid yawn it stood up and sauntered away. Kaede sweatdropped.

"Oh, Rukawa-san." He looked up to see Haruko Akagi standing at the gym's doorway, a towel in one hand, and a water canteen in another. He quickly stood up, looking past her shoulder to see if Tsubasa was anywhere nearby. 

"Were you here long? I was just checking if my brother had come already." She was saying. He took a glance at her face and saw it was red. It must be the sunset's effect on her face, he thought dismissively. She saw him looking in the gym. 

"Are you waiting for Yamazaki-sempai?" she asked, her voice faltering a little. "We finished training early, you know. I think she's just changing. I'll tell her that you're here already." With this, she ran inside, as if to escape from him. 

_Don't bother._

He was sick of waiting for her. Maybe she was waiting for Haruko's brother, too? Didn't she just say to him earlier, that they would walk home together today, and that she would wait for him even if he were late? So why was he the one waiting for her _again_? Couldn't she think of anyone other than herself? He grabbed his bag and suddenly wished he had his bike with him, then remembered that Shigure had taken it for maintenance repairs. He picked up his feet and began to walk away.

----

Tsubasa was furiously jamming her things in her duffel bag when Haruko walked in. Zipping it up she looked at the younger girl, who looked like she was going to say something to her. 

"Sempai, I saw Rukawa-san outside the gym. I think he's waiting for you." She said. At this Tsubasa quickly laced up her shoes and with a final wave to her teammates, raced out of the changing rooms. She dug around her pocket for her watch, checking the time, and she silently swore to herself.

_I should have ended the training earlier!_

She hurried on outside, her bag bumping painfully against her hips, but she ignored it. She hurried across the court, out the door, sliding it impatiently open just to see that…Kaede wasn't there. At least, not anymore.

_He's mad at me. I know it. _She sighed, looking up at the sky. _He must have gone on ahead without me. Kuso! _If there's one thing she couldn't stand, it was the fact that he was mad at her. She knew it was coming. She knew she hadn't been spending much time with him lately. She ran on, willing herself to go faster, hurrying through the deserted schoolyard, past the iron gates of the school. She stepped on the sidewalk, and from a distance, saw Kaede's retreating figure.

"Kaede-chan!" she shouted, as loud as she could, but he did not stop walking. Eyebrows furrowing with worry, she kept on running. Please don't let him be angry with me, she prayed. But she knew that he was. She ran her hand through her hair, anxiety creeping throughout her body. _Please, please don't be angry with me!_

"Kaede-chan, wait for me!" she called again, but in vain. He kept walking on. She ran after him, but somehow, she couldn't seem to be able to catch up. 

_These past few days have been so hectic—not just for me, but for him as well! It's not fair that he's the one  acting so hurt! _Tsubasa huffed impatiently, wishing she had a rock at hand to throw at him. Almost as soon as she thought of these things, she was immediately  sorry for it. 

It was all her fault, really. She saw it very clearly now. Deep down inside she knew he did his part, making adjustments with his new schedule to be able to spend time with her. He didn't say much, but she knew he wanted the two of them to be as close as they were, the same as before…and she kept on being a disappointment to him…

The silence hung heavily in the air, and all she could hear was her the sound of her own breathing. _I've been too eager to please everyone around me…Fuyutsuko-sensei, the team, the teachers, my classmates, my mother and everyone else…I have been neglecting him. The one friend who is most valuable to me…_

She ran and ran, her eyes fixed on him only.

_You may not be able to forgive me today, but I promise I will make it up to you tomorrow._

Overhead, the skies darkened and twilight fell,  signaling the end of the day.

----

He heard her call his name once, twice, three times but all he could allow himself to do was to walk on.

For some reason he suddenly remembered and argument the had a few months earlier. He had forgotten what the argument was all about—but it was somehow imprinted in his mind, all the hurtful things she had said to him. Among these things she said, only one stood out starkly in his mind and kept echoing in his head now:

_I cannot always be the one to support you!_

It was rather painful to think about it, but looking back at it now, Kaede supposed it was true. As one grew older, one had to grow more independent, little by little learning not to take help from others. Perhaps this search for independence was what made Tsubasa change so much. 

_I suppose things cannot always stay the way they used to. Even if I badly want it to be always the same._

He heard her call him again. The sound of her voice only made him angrier with her.

_But that does not give her an excuse to fling me away!_

He had reached the intersection, managing to catch up with the tail of the throng of people crossing the road. He carefully took a quick glance behind his back and saw that she was still lagging behind, running with an effort, her green eyes troubled. He couldn't help but feel a little smug to see her like that. When she reached the intersection the sign DON'T CROSS flashed and the green circle flashed on, signaling the cars to go.

Still panting from her run, she raised her eyes toward him. He was still standing on the other side of the road, looking at her coolly.

Red light. DON'T CROSS.

Cars sped past between them, looming dark shadows blown by the wind. She had never seen him look so cold before. It was like he suddenly turned into another person altogether. Someone she barely recognized. A chill ran through her spine, and the roar of vehicles drowned everything else.

DON'T CROSS.

She could only see his eyes in the briefest of moments as more cars zoomed past them. They were glittering, full of resentment, at her. 

Red light. DON'T CROSS.

Red light. DON'T CROSS.

_I'm sorry, Kaede-chan…_

Green light. The cars slowed down. She was alone, the only one to cross the street. She took a step forward, her eyes brimming with unexpected tears. Please don't hate me. Please, please don't hate me. She saw his eyes soften and with a sudden rush of relief, she rushed forward.

"Kaede-chan, I…" 

Then the unthinkable happened.

A red motorcycle, riding in an impossible speeding, coming seemingly from nowhere, was racing down the road, weaving through the stalled cars, its engine roaring. It ignored the stop signal and recklessly sped on towards Tsubasa.

Tsubasa heard it, she saw it, but things were happening too fast. Her body was too tired to react quickly enough to her mind's warnings. She was able to take two small steps backward the instant the motorcycle was a little distance from her. Then a split second later she was looking into the motorcyclist's eyes behind his helmet. His eyes were cruel, and they laughing at her. She felt the wheels of the motorcycle brush the toes of her shoes. She had to take another step backward.

And he saw her lose her balance and fall. He stood there, too stunned to react. All around him, people were shouting and yelling. No—she did not just fall—she was thrown off her feet! He saw her eyes widen with horror as she crashed with a sickening crack on the pavement. She did not even have time to scream.

The motorcycle roared away and a woman's scream brought him back to reality.

"Shit—the kid's been hit!" 

Why was the sky so red today? He wondered.

"Ohmygod! Call an ambulance!!" 

It all seemed so weirdly unreal. That couldn't be Tsubasa, lying broken on the street, pale-faced and unmoving. It couldn't be. People were starting to crowd around her, shielding her from his eyes. His whole body felt numb, his breathing shallow. He couldn't move. That can't be Tsubasa. She was just playing basketball a little while earlier…just a few minutes before. It couldn't be! It couldn't be!

His feet felt like lead, his knees rubbery and weak, but somehow, he had managed to reach her, one painful step at a time. He didn't even notice that the ambulance that had already arrived. She was still lying there, and something about Kaede's glazed, unbelieving stare made the people make way for him. Her face was deathly white, and blood was splattered all over her body. There were gashes everywhere, and she looked so very small…

"Please clear the way, please clear the way!"  a medic was yelling, herding the people away from the fallen girl. Kaede stood rooted at the spot, unseeing and unhearing. Someone pulled him away roughly away, and they surrounded Tsubasa. He was too far away from her. The noise was unbearable. He wanted to yell, push them away, scream, cry. But he couldn't do anything—his body would not respond to any of his mind's commands. He saw her on a stretcher, an oxygen mask over her mouth, her eyes still closed. 

He had to stop them. They were loading her into the ambulance, taking her away. But all he can do was look on helplessly and do nothing. 

And he could never forgive himself for that.

----

He lay a hand on his cheek again, contemplating and remembering. How did she feel during those moments, he wondered. Did she ever think of it now, sitting there, disabled? But there was a certain clarity in her eyes now, untroubled and strong. Did it still trouble her? 

That day had always haunted his every waking hour.

"I remember," Tsubasa said softly, with a wistful smile on her lips. "When we were little, you weren't interested in going to school. You always woke up late, ate breakfast slowly, and if it were possible, you were even slower in dragging your feet around. Mama got angry with you for that, especially when we arrived late for school. And you just didn't care—even when Mama scolded you, you weren't affected." 

"But whenever she scolded me, it was you who would cry and get upset." Rukawa said very quietly, vividly recalling the days of childhood. Tsubasa always cried when he messed up, and that was why he forced his ways to change, so she wouldn't cry anymore.

"Yes, I always did bawl my eyes out." She laughed lightly. She always had shallow tears, and she was annoyed at herself for it, although she learned to control it later on. She had that overly soft spot in her heart, and there were some situations in which she couldn't help but cry. Losing a game was one, watching a sad movie another…and another reason was no other than Rukawa himself. 

He averted his blue eyes from her. He always ran away from his memories as much as possible before, for it hurt too much. It just reminded him what a terrible person he was, selfish and stupid. He didn't want to care anymore—he just kept on hurting people, and he knew he will always will keep on hurting people. Just like the way he had hurt Tsubasa. 

His hand tightened into a clenched fist. "I always make you cry, Tsubasa." He whispered, audible enough for her to hear. 

Tsubasa gently cupped his face in her hands, and gently made him look at her. She was smiling warmly at him, her green eyes full of sincerity and kindness for him. "You idiot." She laughed gently, and he stared at her in amazement. "Was this what you were thinking all this time?" she looked intently into his eyes before continuing. "You couldn't be more wrong. For all the times that you made me smile, you made me laugh, you made me dance, you made me sing, you made me fight back—you have drowned out all my tears."

"I have forgotten all about the tears now. All that remains in my mind is that you've made me happy."

At these words the barrier seemed to have crumbled down, and she could see his disbelief at her words. _Can I…can I really make her happy? _

"Why?" he breathed.

Suddenly his face seemed to be so close to her own, and she could feel the warmth of his breathing on her cheek. She hesitated, confusion clouding her thoughts. 

"Because…" he was gazing at her so intently she could feel a blush rising up her neck. "I…"

He waited. He could wait for her answer forever, if that was what all it took. 

"Because…I am Tsubasa and you are Kaede! That's the only explanation we need, ne!" she finally blurted out, grinning lopsidedly. Rukawa suddenly felt very, very tired. And Tsubasa felt very, very stupid. She dropped her hands and hurriedly looked away, the moment broken. The room fell into an uncomfortable silence. He fell back on the sofa and shifted away from her, so she could not see the disappointment in his face. After all, he had waited so long to see her again…

----

The next morning, Rukawa stepped out of the shower, rubbing his head with a towel. Downstairs, he could hear Tsubasa getting busy in the kitchen. She always made a racket when she cooked. Quickly changing into his school uniform, he took a quick glance at the mirror and combed his hair. Tsubasa was reading her college scholarship application forms when he woke up and had volunteered to cook breakfast for the both of them. She was bright and cheerful, and did not mention any of the things that had taken the place last night (what are you thinking, hentai! ;p). 

When he entered the kitchen, she had just finished cooking. Tsubasa looked quite unruffled, and smiled as he came in. "Kaede-kun! Perfect timing. I just finished cooking. There's orange juice in the ref, and could you be a dear and set the table? I still have to take a bath and change. Thanks!" and then she was gone. How did she take a bath, he wondered, then caught himself, and he felt a little embarrassed for even thinking of it.

Bacon, toasted bread, cheese, butter, marmalade, waffles and pancakes. Rukawa sweatdropped. It seemed like Tsubasa went a little overboard with the breakfast. A rather American breakfast at that. He grabbed some plates from  the cupboard, wiped them with a sheet of tissue and placed them on the table, one for him, and one for her. He took two glasses and the orange juice and placed them on the table as well. He arranged everything and when he stepped back to review his work, he felt rather pleased. He waited for her and her reaction.

"Wow, Kaede-kun, it looks nice!" Tsubasa was saying as she wheeled herself into the kitchen, her hair still a little wet but neatly combed, held by two blue clips. She was wearing a blue dress with a Sabrina neckline, with sapphires glittering on her ears. He didn't say anything but simply helped her out of her wheelchair. She looked like a woman and a little girl at the same time, he thought. They had a quiet breakfast together, and despite the rather uneasy tension, it was more amiable than when they  first meeting.

After dumping the plates in the sink, a car honked outside. Tsubasa rinsed her hands and checked outside. "That's our car." She told Kaede, going back to the living room to get her things. Then she paused when she saw Kaede staring at the sink full of dirty plates. "I'll wash that as soon as I get home. Come on! I don't want you to get late!" with that she grabbed several documents off the table and wheeled herself outside, Rukawa following close behind.

The car, which Tsubasa had rented off for a week, was already waiting outside for them. Rukawa helped Tsubasa into the car and folded the wheelchair in the trunk. There was a grateful expression in her eyes that made him feel warm.

Tsubasa sat beside him in the passenger seat, humming happily to herself. Sitting beside her in the taxi last night felt so strange and awkward. But sitting beside her now was altogether different. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to him. 

He had never felt such peace for the last three years. 

He couldn't help but notice the numerous folders and envelopes placed across her lap. Her scholarship offers and grants—of course, how could he forget? After her affairs had been put in order, she would have to go back to America—in little more than a week. 

It was too short for three years of absence. 

Not enough to make up for lost time. There wasn't enough time for lost chances—he couldn't wonder forever. And he had so many things to say, before time stole her away…

He opened his mouth to speak, but words failed to come. He dredged up more of his courage and tried again. Still, he could not speak. This was harder than he thought. Tsubasa went on looking out of the window, blissfully oblivious to Rukawa's difficulty. 

How hard was it to ask her if they could have dinner out again, just the two of them? It shouldn't be so difficult! But it was not easy.

Rukawa Kaede, heartthrob extraordinaire, was having a hard time trying to speak with a girl he had known for eleven years. It was not his entire fault, actually. He had not much practice. 

But what if she said no? She did come back to Japan for her own reasons—her education. What if she said she was too busy? What if she comes home late from all those meetings and there wouldn't be time for anything else? 

Questions he had never bothered to ask himself before, started pouring in like heavy rain. 

What had been Tsubasa up to, anyway, in America, since she left? Did she even think of him while she was away? What if…what if she had found someone special back there? The last question hit him like the basketballs Hanamichi had thrown at him on the first days of practice. 

That do'ahou. Now was not the time to be thinking of such things!

Steeling his resolve, he threw all fears to the wind. The moment would pass soon, and he might never get it back. This he knew all too well. He was so deeply engrossed with preparation that he didn't notice Tsubasa opening the car window. 

"Tsubasa…" he began.

"OOOOOIYA!!!" Tsubasa suddenly yelled, waving like mad. "OOOHAYOOO!!!" 

What the hell…?!

Tsubasa was smiling and waving to someone on the sidewalk. The car was slowing down. Rukawa glanced at Tsubasa's direction, wondering what the hullabaloo was all about. 

The car sopped beside two young men walking down the sidewalk, wearing crisp white shirts and black slacks, schoolbags slung over their broad shoulders. They both recognized Tsubasa immediately. The taller of the two leaned down to peer into the car more closely.

"Tsubasa!" Mitsui laughed and Rukawa felt his blood boil. Since when did Mitsui start being so friendly with her? He made a mental note in his mind to get back at Mitsui during basketball practice. "Ohayo." 

"Ohayo, Yamazaki-san." Ryota greeted smilingly, standing behind Mitsui. The two's houses were near to each other so they always ended up walking to school together. Like Mitsui, he felt pleased at seeing Tsubasa. It was like she was already an old friend of his.

"…" Rukawa could only sweatdrop at the situation. Tsubasa was exactly the elusive black cat she was named after, but for completely different reasons other than basketball. It was quite frustrating, actually. The basketballs began to hit him on the head again.

"I'm just about to drop off Kaede-chan for school." She said. "But won't you join us? There's still room for two." 

Normally, an invitation like this would be taken in the wrong way, especially by guys like Mitsui and Ryota (don't ask me why, though). But there was something so utterly sincere and unassuming in her expression that they could not interpret it into anything else but genuine kindliness. They accepted the offer gratefully.

Rukawa sulked in surly silence as he made room for Ryota. The moment had passed, eons ago. Why do they always come at the worst time? He thought, a little miserably.

"Well, hello, Sunshine!" Ryota quipped upon seeing Rukawa's expression, sour as spoiled milk. He knew the expression very well, in fact he had it on whenever Ayako-san talked to any guy outside the basketball team. It looked funny on Rukawa, though. Then again, any new expression looked funny on his kitsune face. He cast an amused smile at Mitsui, who was sitting beside Tsubasa, looking totally ignorant of Rukawa's growing feeling of enmity towards him. 

"So, where are you headed to, Tsubasa?" Mitsui asked, for one glance at her clothes indicated well enough that she was going to meet some very important people. 

"Oh, just meet some people and discuss things." She answered dismissively, with a careless wave of her hand.

"What things?" Mitsui pressed, interested in knowing what life she took after basketball. It was a nosy question, and Rukawa was glaring at him as well as he could, but she didn't seem to notice either the nosiness of the question or the dangerous glower. 

"Well…" she paused, wondering how to say this without sounding overly self-important. "Several schools here in Japan offered me scholarship grants for schools either here or abroad. I'm going to meet some people to review their offers and my choices more closely." 

"Aa. Sugoi." Mitsui breathed in wonder. Ryota began to watch Rukawa more closely. Ryota liked observing things from afar, always interested in seeing how things and people develop. Right now Rukawa was proving to be a most interesting subject. Up until now, he could not see anything in Rukawa other than the determination to win, anger, annoyance, more anger and more annoyance (especially with Hanamichi). But now this was a different feeling from him altogether. Mixed feelings towards Tsubasa, very strong…and very mixed indeed. 

The conversation suddenly turned to Mitsui, who was discussing with Tsubasa his plans for college. Tsubasa was giving him some pointers and some good advice on some of his questions. The two obviously enjoyed each other's company, which was strange, because they bickered and fought and insulted each other incessantly whenever they met in junior high. But anyone could see that they were not attracted to each other, consciously or unconsciously. Perhaps it was the because they both had a time in their lives that they had reached a rock-bottom, interrupted in their childhood glory and joy, nowhere to go but a dead end, but somehow they had managed to turn it around for the better. It was a unique bond.

Rukawa was watching Mitsui through slitted eyes. He was jealous of Mitsui, but not because of the reasons Ryota was thinking. True, he was jealous, but not because Mitsui was talking to Tsubasa. Rather it was _how _Mitsui talked to Tsubasa. The words flowed easily, and what he wanted to say was easily understood. He had tried talking to her like that so many times, but he had always failed. He had always clammed up his feelings inside, so people would not see, and he had counted on Tsubasa to read him even though he did not say anything. Only now was he discovering that there were some things that had to be said aloud.

_Things? What kinds of things? _Another voice asked him inside. _What do you want to say to her?_

"There's something funny with your teeth."

_Eh? That's what I want to say to her?_

"Especially with your two front ones." Tsubasa continued, giving Mitsui an odd look. Ryota snorted and Mitsui put a hand over his mouth, reddening like a overripe tomato. Rukawa blinked.

"Gomen na sai!" Tsubasa looked thoroughly confused. "I'm sorry, but it was distracting me ever since you started talking. It's just that it seemed a little out of place with all the rest of your teeth…"

"Oh that? Yeah, it can be distracting, isn't it?" Ryota agreed, grinning wickedly at Mitsui, who shot daggers at his direction, his hand still clamped over his mouth. "You want to know why?" 

"Sure." She nodded. Rukawa noticed that even the driver was listening.

"Ryota…!" Mitsui said in a dangerous voice, but it was hard to take it seriously, as his hand was still over his mouth, his eyes widening comically.

"They're false teeth. Dentures or jackets, we don't know. But it's as false as the fact that Hanamichi is a basketball genius." Ryota said in a mysterious voice, like he was revealing that Mitsui was actually the son of a mighty king instead of revealing that he had false front teeth.

"MIYAGI!!!" Mitsui yelled, half-rising from his seat, only ending up hitting his head on the car's interior. His face was on fire, his…uh…cool image broken. 

Tsubasa was entranced. "They're false teeth! How weird!" she laughed lightly. "What happened?" 

"He ate too much candies." Rukawa muttered sarcastically.

Ryota shrugged. "He came barging in the basketball court one day and wanted to bust everything up, so we busted him first. I," he pointed to himself, smiling proudly. "Gave him a good kick in the face." Mitsui looked like he was itching to kill Ryota with a fork—a salad fork.

"That's a very good kick, indeed. I used to kick him in the face all the time, but no teeth fell out!" Tsubasa said, looking at Rukawa and wondering where he was during that fight. Talking about fighting made her feel all nostalgic again. She used to fight a lot when she was younger, too.

"Rukawa fought very well that day." Ryota said, reading her thoughts.

"Hey! Don't talk about me like I wasn't here!" Mitsui exclaimed, his cheeks still a bright red. 

"Don't get mad, Mitsui-san!" Tsubasa tried to calm him down, but it was obvious she was trying hard not to laugh. "We'll all lose our teeth when we grow old, it just that you got a little advanced!"

"No, it's because he _is _old." Rukawa muttered again. 

"I heard that, Rukawa!!" Mitsui was positively fuming. "I'll get you two for this." He said lowly, before plopping down his seat, crossing his arms like an upset child.

Tsubasa patted his head sympathetically. "You can't get mad at Kaede—we had an agreement, remember? But you can vent it all out on Ryota-san, ne?" 

"Hey, that's right!" Mitsui grinned. "I feel better now!" he said exaggeratedly, glaring at Ryota, who suddenly felt very thankful that he was sitting on the other end of the car. Then he felt sorry for saying it, knowing that he was acting like a child. The woman sitting beside him lost so much more than her teeth. But how come he always forgot that fact even though she was sitting right next to him? 

She never did think about herself that much. And there was a natural light to her, something calm and peaceful about her presence. He glanced at Tsubasa, who was now talking to Rukawa in soft tones. All he knew of the two's relationship was that they were like siblings, and that they had practically grown up together. He can feel the closeness of the two, and that Rukawa felt something special for this girl. Imagine that—Rukawa actually feeling something.

They had finally reached Shohoku. The peaceful feeling seemed to have rubbed off Mitsui because he did not lunge at Ryota the moment they got out of the car. They both said their thanks and goodbyes to Tsubasa and added the throng of students walking towards the school gates. Tsubasa looked after them a little wistfully. She wondered what things would have been like if she had stayed in Japan and the accident had never happened. Actually, she thought of that possibility a lot. She went through a lot of physical, mental and emotional strain in America. She constantly had to fend for herself. She pushed herself to begin walking again, despite what the doctors said. She had always failed, and her legs would not obey her. She had shed a lot of frustrated tears in her efforts. Her mother can only offer her sympathy and support, but in the end Tsubasa was alone. Then one day Tsubasa told herself that if she cannot go back to basketball, she would be good in something else. She had pushed herself into becoming a top scholar, at the cost of her health and pride. But still the thought of what could have been had always been in her mind.

Rukawa took a deep breath and decided to get out of the car before he said anything. Somehow he thought it would make a difference. When he did, he got a very unexpected result. When he turned back to face her, he was suddenly surrounded by a ton of girls! It happened so fast, indeed, almost in a blink of an eye, the Shohoku girls that formed the Rukawa Shinetai was there.

"Ohayo!" they chorused. "Rukawa-sama!" 

Tsubasa, meanwhile, sat blinking innocently from the interior of the car. Rukawa looked like he was about to say something, but all of a sudden he was cut from her view by this huge swarm of girls, all dressed in the Shohoku uniform. When they started chanting his name, Tsubasa sweatdropped.

"It must be Kaede-kun's fanclub." She thought aloud. She smiled. If they were following him around like that, then he must not be treating them too badly. That was a good thing, she thought, still smiling. "Have a nice day, Kaede-kun." She whispered, not knowing for him, the day was already utterly ruined. She signaled the driver to go on.

_That was an awful lot of girls. Kaede-kun sure is popular! _She was sure it was because of his good looks and basketball laying. He must be very good right now, and she wondered how he played presently. But she didn't feel like she could bring herself to watch him play. No, not yet, she wasn't ready. As a matter of course, she was naturally competitive against Rukawa when it came to basketball and somehow that little part of her nagged constantly. _It's not fair that he can play and I cannot. _She shook her head, trying to clear her mind of these selfish thoughts. More reasons why girls like Rukawa…maybe perhaps he was so mysterious, and said little. Well, he had not much to say, anyway. He wasn't exactly charming, either. Maybe it was his stunning intelligence? She had to smile wryly at the idea as he preferred sleeping to reading or studying of any sort. Yes, perhaps it was his mysterious aura. He had no family, no friends, kept to himself most of the time…actually, it was more sad than mysterious. 

Also…there was something in Rukawa that he could not let go. She felt it keenly, and somehow she knew it was something related to her, and the accident. Something that he had not let go for three years…

----

She was playing basketball. She feinted and dribbled the ball across the court, her eyes darting frantically around, as if she were surrounded by opponents. But she was alone. 

Suddenly Kaede was there, his arms open, his knees bent and his blue eyes glaring down on her. 

He said only one word. 

"Fight." 

Her green eyes flashed and she smiled. She tried to cut to his right, the ball dribbling under her hand. He blocked her way and she stepped back. And then he said something that was very strange.

"If you lose to me, you will have to marry bigmouth Mitsui." Kaede told her impassively. Tsubasa sweatdropped.

"WHAT! The heck are you talking about?!" she yelled. Suddenly the whole court melted away, and she was walking down the aisle in a white wedding gown. The lights streamed from the windows, and it was so bright. She looked at her side, and she saw Kaede was walking beside her, looking handsome in a suit, and heart surged with happiness. But when she glanced upward, she saw that someone else was waiting for her. 

"M—MITSUI?!" her eyes widened in disbelief. She turned and with one white-shoed foot, kicked Kaede on the shin, and he didn't react. "You're giving me away to marry MITSUI?!?? You [expletive]!!!!"

Kaede merely shrugged. "You make a wonderful couple." 

"No, we don't, you idiot! I want to marry…I want to marry…I just want to be with…" but before she could finish what she was trying to say, Mitsui was already taking her hand, and leading her to the altar.

"No…this has got to be a nightmare…I'm going to wake up…wake up!! I don't want to marry Mitsui, even in a dream! Help! Help!" 

Then she felt her eyes open to darkness and she sat up quickly, her breathing hard. She laid a hand on her chest, her heart beating wildly. 

A nightmare. Thank goodness that was all that it was to it. 

_I need a drink of water. _

She was about to climb off the bed when she suddenly stiffened. Her legs would not move. For a moment she had forgotten, but now the reality came crashing into her. Of course—she had just gotten out of the hospital. The accident—the accident. The real nightmare that had happened to her. She stared at her immobile feet, feeling like the prince whose legs had turned marble in _Arabian Nights._

The door opened, and Shigure walked in, switching the lights open. Tsubasa squinted at the sudden invasion of light. Her mother looked tired lately, and she knew why. Kaede had run away, and he was still missing. Shigure had scoured every place she knew where to find him, but he was nowhere to be found. Tsubasa knew her mother had been sitting beside the telephone for the entire night, waiting for someone to call to give any information on Kaede's whereabouts. The knife of guilt buried itself deeper into her heart. She could not help but feel responsible for Kaede's actions. She knew he was running away from her. But somehow she knew that he was safe, and was not in any danger.

Shigure drew up a chair beside her daughter's bed and lay her hand over Tsubasa's. Mother and daughter sat in silence. 

Tsubasa looked out of her window, the moon contrasting starkly against the starless sky and fervently prayed that he would come back home to them.

In the silent house, the same house he swore he would never set foot in, Kaede watched the pale moon, the wind whispering Tsubasa's prayer in his ears. Yet he said nothing in reply, and sat in deep thought. 

Shigure watched her daughter's somber face with a heavy heart. She had to make the decision now. She did not want her to stay like this forever. This morning, she had been offered a position in a law firm in the United States. Here, the doctors could do nothing for her daughter, but in faraway America there may be a greater chance for recovery…for Tsubasa to walk again. 

After tonight, they knew, things would never be the same.

----

Author's notes: Iiiiiaaaaaaa..! I wrote and wrote until I could write no more! Because of the overwhelming requests for more Mitsui scenes, I had written not one but two—but they are both nonsensical (a little). ^^; Really sorry for the delay, but as you can see, this chapter is super long. Hope the flashback scenes weren't too confusing. Coming up next! Rukawa makes his move! Tsubasa uses her scholarly powers to improve Rukawa's grades! They both drink coffee mixed with Coke to stay awake! Why do I sound like a bad Power Rangers Action Figure Ad! Thanks for reading. I hope you guys review, because this took me forever to write. Pleease? I hate begging, but what the heck…


	7. Make You Mine

OVERTURE 

_Wondering, waiting for the day to fade away  
So I can hold you once again and chase the fears away   
  
Lie with me  
Show me how you feel  
I'm falling for you deeper everyday   
  
When the night turns over  
I'll lie with you  
When the morning wakes you  
I'm there by you  
When the daylight takes you  
I'll miss you  
Til you come back home to me  
And I can make you mine_

----

Welcome to the last leg of the story. The second to the last leg, actually. All in this entire story has eight legs, just like a spider! What on earth am I saying? Slam Dunk is owned by Mr. Takehiko, who, interestingly, also has a series about wheelchair basketball (oh the possibilities! evil grin).

----

"I wonder what the future will be like…Shigure-chan." Sixteen-year-old Shizuka Aki looked at her best friend, sitting beside her, watching the moon rise from Shizuka's window. Her honey-gold hair softly brushed one pale cheek, and her blue eyes were solemn. She's so beautiful, Shigure thought. Shigure loved looking at her best friend. She had an unusual beauty, unlike anyone else's, being half-European and half-Japanese. 

"Why are you asking me a question like that? No one really knows ne." Shigure replied, taking a gulp from the soda can in her hand. 

"I suppose you're right." Shizuka sighed, and they sank into a contemplative silence. Then she spoke again, her voice more bright this time. "I've already thought of a girl's name." 

"Oh?" Shigure looked up, interested. This was not the first time they had started thinking of names for their firstborn children. If it were a boy, the baby would be named Kaede, even if both their firstborn were male, they would have the same name. Shigure was the one who thought of this name, and Shizuka thought it was beautiful. 

"Tsubasa." Shizuka's blue eyes softened as she spoke. 

"Tsubasa." Shigure echoed. Tsubasa, meaning wings. An angel. She smiled. "I like that name, Shizuka."

"You do?" Shizuka asked uncertainly, her eyes clouding with doubt.

"Don't be silly. I love it." Shigure giggled, imagining the confusion that would ensue if both of their firstborn children were girls, both named Tsubasa. Shizuka still looked like she didn't believe Shigure. She could be very insecure sometimes, Shigure thought. The golden-haired girl was quiet, as she always was. 

----

Looking at Tsubasa now, it was not hard for Shigure to remember that there was a time that she was young. Thinking of Kaede now, he would surely be surprised to know that he was exactly like his mother in her youth. She always kept the precious memories of her best friend in her heart, and for a time, she was utterly convinced that no two people could be as close as they. Yet as Tsubasa and Kaede grew up, she began to see that she was slowly being proven wrong. Their friendship was just like hers and Shizuka's friendship and so much more…

_Life is as kind as it is cruel…_

She remembered Shizuka, smiling as she held the baby Tsubasa in her arms. _She looks so much like Chris-san! _She said, referring to Shigure's husband, whom she met during her vacation in America.  He followed her to Japan, unable to let her go. Tsubasa inherited the beautiful green eyes she had fallen in love with, the silky dark-red hair, the unforgettable smile. She remembered Shizuka showing her the engagement ring Koinosuke had given him, the sparkle of life and happiness evident in her sapphire eyes. She was so blissful, and so very much in love with Koinosuke. She cannot forget Shizuka's wedding, and the birth of a baby boy, much to the amusement of the two friends.

When Chris fell sick of cancer, it was Shizuka who was always beside her along the way. He fought back his sickness, but at the end, he succumbed to it. Shizuka held her when she cried, and told her that no, he was not gone—he will live on, through their daughter. And indeed, Tsubasa was remarkably like her father, although she had never known him.

It was also painful for Shigure to watch Koinosuke and Shizuka to part ways. She tried her best to be the reconciliatory voice between the two, but all in vain. Koinosuke was not the man Shizuka thought he was, and she would be forever unhappy if she did not part with him. It hurt Shigure to see her friend's marriage crumble and Shizuka depart for America, leaving Kaede with her. And like Tsubasa, Kaede reminded her keenly of an absent loved one. He had his mother's eyes—the same shape and the same color, as Tsubasa had her father's eyes.

She looked at Tsubasa now, her thoughtful green eyes fixed on the rising moon. She had watched the two grow up, and she had treated them equally, like they were both her children. Loved them in place of their absent parents. She knew both of their hearts. She knew that Kaede loved Tsubasa more than a sister. Loved her so much, in such an intense, unchildlike way that he was willing to hurt himself for her. As for Tsubasa…

_She does not love him in that way yet, but she will soon learn to._

"You are thinking of something, Mama." Tsubasa broke the silence, smiling a little, to her mother. 

Shigure shook her head. "Don't bother yourself with me, Tsubasa." Then after a pause, she added: "It's about time you get some rest. I don't want you to have a relapse of fever." 

Tsubasa's eyes became very sad. "With Kaede gone, I can't bring myself to rest. It's my fault, Mama, why he has run away.

"You are right—I am a selfish person. I think only for myself, heedless of other people that I may hurt. If I had just borne myself more bravely and more maturely, I would not have pushed him away. It's all my fault."  Tsubasa said quietly, looking down on her hands, trying to fight tears, remorse overtaking her.

Shigure embraced her daughter tenderly. "It does no good if we all go around blaming ourselves. But it is wise that you know of your own mistakes." She looked at Tsubasa and stroked her hair. "But now the most you can do for me and Kaede is to get some sleep. It will all be better tomorrow. I promise." 

----

"Iiaaa. What a heavy rain." 

"And the skies looked so clear this morning, too!" 

"Good thing I brought my umbrella with me today." 

Rukawa yawned and stood up. He couldn't go to sleep. His classmates were too noisy. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he shuffled out of the doorway, looking bored. He wandered down the hallway rather aimlessly, thinking of where he should go, then somehow ending up looking outside the windows, his chin resting against his hand. 

Yes, it was raining like this that day…when she told him she wanted him to be happy…

"Anou…Rukawa-kun?" a soft feminine voice suddenly addressed him. Disturbed from his reverie, he glanced downward, and saw Akagi Haruko standing there, looking up shyly at him. He went back to study the falling rain, disinterested in her.

"Rukawa-kun," Haruko repeated, a little louder this time. Rukawa did not turn to look at her again. "I heard from my brother that Yamazaki-sempai had just arrived earlier this week. Is it true?" 

The mention of Tsubasa's last name caught his attention. "Yeah, she is." Haruko's eyes goggled at actually hearing a reply from him, however bored he sounded. Rukawa actually talking to her! That plus the fact that the girl she had admired so much was back in Japan doubled her excitement and heightened her confidence. 

"Do you think it will be okay for us to visit her? Is she staying at her house?" she asked, her dark eyes brightening. He thought about it for a few moments, and then shrugged. He didn't know Tsubasa's schedule, but she would probably like it if her old friends visited her. He ambled away before Haruko said anything else more. He wasn't really a conversationalist. He wished she would just leave him alone. Haruko's face fell as he did. 

He hadn't taken three steps when Hanamichi "do'ahou" Sakuragi came charging up to him, his brown eyes flashing. 

"RUUKAAAWAAAA!!!" he yelled, Youhei and the others clinging onto him, trying their very best to stop him from picking another fight. "How dare you talk to Haruko-san?!?! You are not worthy of even standing a mile from her!!! For treating her so disrespectfully, I will punish you!!!!" 

Rukawa merely glared at him.

"Stop it, Hanamichi!" Youhei cried, restraining Hanamichi with all his strength. Damn, all this basketball had made him stronger! He could actually take a step with four guys on his back!

"You better be training well this week, because by the time you're back, this tensai will teach you some manners!!" Hanamichi went on ranting, only to be interrupted by a…

"Konnichiwa, Sakuragi-kun!" Haruko's cheerful greeting made Hanamichi forget everything else. Hanamichi immediately straightened, causing his friends, who were clinging on his back, fall on the floor with a crash. 

"Ha—ha—Haruko-san! Konnichiwa!" he greeted in turn, blushing profusely. 

He didn't have any business here anymore. Hands in his pockets, he walked on, mumbling a "do'ahou" under his breath as Haruko went on talking to Sakuragi. 

"I was just talking to Rukawa-kun about my old team captain in junior high." She said, smiling. "Actually, I was just asking about her. Have you heard of her? Tsubasa Yamazaki?"

"Ah! Yes!" Hanamichi nodded profusely. He had done his research, of course, on Haruko's junior high days, just in case they came in handy, just like now. "Actually, I have met her!" there. That should do the trick.

It worked like a charm. Haruko's eyes widened. "Really?!" she exclaimed. "That's really great! What do you think of her?" 

"She's really friendly and seems nice." Hanamichi replied, his embarrassment of being around Haruko wearing off a little. "I can't believe she's friends with Rukawa, though." 

"Oh, but they're really close. They've known each other since childhood. Everyone finds that fact hard to believe because they're so different." Haruko said, her eyes wistfully on Rukawa's retreating figure. She returned her attention to Hanamichi quickly. "Yamazaki-sempai helped me a lot on my basketball skills in junior highschool, and I haven't had the chance of thanking her for that before she left. She was the best female basketball player in the prefecture before…before the accident, you know." 

"Tsubasa Yamazaki?" Youhei interjected, who, with the others, were trying to keep quiet for Hanamichi's sake. "I know her. She used to be featured in a lot of articles in the newspaper, wasn't she?" 

"Yes, she's the one. But you know, for all the attention she received, she was always kind and humble. I admire her so much." Haruko said.

"You admire kind and humble people, eh? Did you hear that, Hanamichi? That's a pointer for you." Youhei teased his friend. "But knowing you, that'd be too hard to achieve, ne?" his friends laughed boisterously at this.

"Urusai!!" Hanamichi shot back, reddening again. But Haruko was not listening. She was busy contemplating on how to bring together the whole junior high basketball team visit Tsubasa, and see her again.

----

He found himself standing in a pitch-black room. Then he heard Shigure's voice speaking to him. 

"I have been offered a position in a law firm in America. I have decided to accept it."

America?

"We are moving, as soon as possible. You'll be coming with us." She was suddenly there, in front of him, extending one hand, smiling. He wanted to accept, he wanted to go with her. But something held him back, and he took a step backward. 

"No." 

Shigure's smiling face turned into one of confusion. "No? Why?" 

He started to speak, but found he could not. He wanted to go with her, see his mother, be with Tsubasa, especially now, in her darkest hours…but he was so terribly afraid…

"No!" he repeated, louder, clearer, and strongly.

He couldn't bring himself to go back with them. 

_It's my entire fault. It's my entire fault why things have turned out this way!_

_I will just end up hurting you. I have hurt all of you so much. My mother…Shigure-san…Tsubasa…I don't deserve to be loved by anyone!!_

"You are such a troublesome child!!" a large hand suddenly slapped him on the cheek, sending him staggering to the floor. He heard his mother's cry. She was always crying—because his father had hurt him again.

"You have no right to hurt my son, Koinosuke!!" she yelled at him, and he felt her warm embrace around him, saw the tears in her eyes as she gently tended the bruise on his face. On that day, the day his father hit him, his mother left him under the care of Shigure, the only person she could trust with her son.

Shigure resurfaced again and she was holding out her hand, but he slapped it away angrily. Tears burned his eyes but he refused to cry. 

"Can't you understand?! I don't want to go! You will have to drag me there if you want! I will NOT go! I can live by myself. I'd rather live by myself!" 

_Instead of hurting you._

----

Rukawa woke up with a start. For a moment he was disconcerted, not knowing where he was. He heard the sound of the falling rain. He was sitting on the stairs leading to the rooftop and had apparently fallen asleep. (Yeah tell us something we don't know! ^o^)

He brushed his cheek and felt the tears. He had been crying again. With a small sigh, he stood up and began his descent downstairs. It was way past lunch break, but he figured that it would be more comfortable to sleep in the classroom than on the stairs. He walked down the hallway, and when he approached the gym, he instinctively looked up. The door was ajar, and before he knew what he was doing, he was already heading for the direction of the gym. 

It was deserted. A ball was sitting on the floor and he strode over to pick it up, turning it over his hands reflectively. With little effort, he sent the ball flying over and straight into the basket. He ran over and retrieved it, unbuttoning his polo shirt uniform and placing it on one of the chairs in the gym. Taking a deep breath, he ran towards the basket, dribbling the ball, before launching himself up and performing a slam dunk. 

Better than sleeping, definitely. Training in basketball always gave him time to think, with no one to bother him but himself. More importantly, basketball reminded him of her. He never saw a girl so in love with a game. He dribbled the ball, and remembered the first time he held it in his hand. 

He was a sickly child back then, and Tsubasa had dragged him outdoors to feel a little wind and sunshine. She was standing with a huge smile on her face and she was holding a small red-orange ball in her hands. "This is called a basketball." She told him. "I always see it on TV. It's really easy! Look!" she threw the ball downwards, and it bounced up, and she caught it, holding it again. "When you do it really quickly, it's called dribbling." Then she ran off, laughing while she was doing this 'dribbling' business. "Come on, Kaede-chan! Keep up! Keep up!" and they played basketball, or at least an imitation of it, everyday afterwards, much to the satisfaction of Shigure.

He stepped past the rainbow arch, bent his knees and sent the ball flying again into a clean three-point shot. He then threw the ball in by a lay-up shot, then by another slam-dunk. He remembered the first time he had successfully pulled off a slam-dunk. Tsubasa was his opponent, and she was cheering him on, which was very strange, considering it was a point earned against her. 

There wasn't a time in his life that he wasn't playing basketball.

He was also playing basketball the day she went away.

----

Tomigaoka was fighting against one of the best junior highschool basketball teams in the country that day. He was determined they would win this game. He was determined to forget, even for just an hour, that the people who meant most to him were about to leave. 

Shigure had visited him everyday after she had found him, but he kept on refusing her offer to go with America with them, stating that he would rather stay. He had made up his mind on staying in Japan. Seeing him that nothing could change his decision, and knowing that she had no power other than being his guardian, she accepted his choice and said nothing else.

He did not know how Tsubasa reacted to this news, but he heard nothing from her, or from Shigure. Perhaps he was running away then, for up until now he could not accept the fact that Tsubasa was now disabled, perhaps for the rest of her life. Or it could be because of his guilt, although no one had blamed him, he blamed himself for all that had happened. 

He swished the ball neatly through the basket, through a seemingly impenetrable defense of two players. The crowd roared in approval.

"RUKAWA! RUKAWA! RUKAWA!" the whole stadium chanted his name.

But he did not notice it. As he was heading back for defense, he could only see her bright green eyes, encouraging him to go along. 

_You're doing fine, Kaede-chan!_

He stole the ball from the other team's center and maneuvered himself expertly away from him and began racing back to the enemy's court. This was Tsubasa's favorite move, the one that got her the name of Black Cat. The others ran after him, but could not catch up, and as a result, he scored two more points. 

_You'll win, Kaede-chan! _

He could promise himself to win this game for her. But could she forgive him for all the pain he had caused her? He searched his mind for answers, but he could find none.

----

Tsubasa plucked a flower from their garden, sadness faintly tingeing her smile. She did not want to leave. Not at all. Especially without him. She brought the flower up to her lips and breathed in its subtle scent.

She looked up at the sky. It was so clear and bright, but she felt like crying.

"Yes. He must be fighting a game now." She whispered softly to herself, and closed her eyes. If she could only go and watch him now. But she knew it was impossible. She herself would not permit it. She wheeled herself over to the cherry tree, slowly and painfully, for she wasn't used to using her wheelchair yet, and laid one hand on its bark. 

"I have to say goodbye to you now. I pray we will meet again…"

And then the tears came.

----

He came home to an unfamiliar, empty house. His house, his very own, even though it did not feel like it. Tomigaoka had won the game, but somehow he was not pleased with their victory. He left as soon as he could, unwilling to partake in the celebration and excitement.

What about it? What does victory mean, anyway…if she was not with him? 

He slumped in the gloom, his head lowered, his hands clasped as if in prayer. Then he noticed that a small red light was flashing on his telephone. Someone had left a message for him…he stood up and walked over to the phone, and after hesitating for a moment, pressed the 'play recorded message' button.

"Kaede-chan." His heart skipped a beat when he heard her voice. "It's me. I know you're not home yet so…I'll just try to say everything I could here…

"Mama and I will boarding the plane in an hour…and… I can't find it in myself to leave without saying goodbye." There was a thoughtful silence after this. "I don't know why you do not want to go with us to where we are going, or why you never came back home to us. I won't pretend that I wasn't hurt by your actions, but I am. I hope I will be able to understand all this someday. I wish to understand it now, but you have made it…it's just so hard…

"I'm afraid it is because you think that the accident was all your fault. I don't blame you for anything, Kaede-chan, I never did, and I never will. In things like these, there is no one to blame, it just happened that I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Don't live with the guilt that you never earned. You will just end up hurting yourself—and me—even more.

"I cannot pretend that what has happened to me was nothing. And if you could do something for me—if you could—" here her voice cracked, as if she were holding back something painful.

"I know I cannot play basketball any longer, for the rest of my life, we still do not know. Kaede-chan…I will be relying on you to live out my dream. You are the only person I could trust in this. I will be passing my dream onto you, and I know you will not fail me. Be the best basketball player, Kaede-chan…for yourself, and for me. This is the only thing I ask from you.

"I have to go now." Her voice sounded weak, it was threatening to break down during the course of her call, and with a heartbreaking sob, and she ended her message.

Kaede stood stiffly, long after the message was cut off, the realization that she had really left slowly creeping into his consciousness. He fell on the telephone and hugged it, weeping silently. Wishing for time to turn back and for them to be the way they always were.

----

"I'm not a great talent, and I won't be playing basketball in highschool anymore, remember?" Haruko had laughed then, with Hanamichi, in the park. "So, do you your best, Sakuragi-kun!"

"Hai! I'll be the best basketball player for you, Haruko-san!" Hanamichi had replied, smiling confidently, basketball in one hand, looking like he really believed what he was saying. (which is actually true. Hehe. ^^;)

Rukawa had watched them, hiding behind a bush, because he didn't want to be bothered. Yet what Hanamichi said struck him that day. The words that had been repeating in his mind all these years had actually been spoken out aloud, and it was a different thing altogether. It was a shock, actually.

_I'll be the best basketball player for you._

Doing his best…for the girl he cared about…just like him.

Happily(!), that was the only similarity he shared with that do'ahou, Sakuragi Hanamichi. But somehow that little feeling of sympathy—no, empathy for the redhead that could not be shaken off.

_Fighting…all this time…so when I see her again…I will be able to look her in the eye and say, "I've kept my promise." _

_So that I can walk up to her and tell her my feelings. So I can be worthy of her._

----

"You seem distracted today, Kaede-kun." Tsubasa remarked as the two of them were having dinner that evening. Rukawa looked up at her, and said nothing. "I have a pretty good idea of what you're thinking."

_You._

"It's pretty much the same thing that I'm thinking." She went on, smiling, not noticing that his blue eyes were fixed steadily upon her face. "Well, I hope you're thinking about it, because it's distressing if you don't." 

_When she smiles like that, it is the only time I am really at peace._

He didn't notice that she speared the potatoes with her fork rather violently. "Would you mind telling me…" she put her fork down, with the poor abused potato and dug around her pockets for something. When she did, he saw that she was holding some papers. "What these are all about?"

Rukawa's eyes widened ever so slightly when he saw that she was holding—his test papers, as he could tell from the failing marks written in bright red ink and—I'm sorry to say this—his sloppy handwriting. She watched his reaction calmly, and even with a faint smile on her lips. She wasn't mad, she just wanted to hear the whole story. 

But suddenly she had an evil look on her face (which is kinda scary). "You…call…these…_grades_, don't you?" she said slowly, picking up her fork, one eyebrow up.

"…………"

"Mou!" she threw up her arms in resignation and laughed. "If Mama were here, she'd be starting off with one of her sermons again, and blame ME for YOU getting all these abominable grades in tests." She winked, and the mental image of Shigure looming over them almost made him want to laugh as well. But it was not in his nature, so he didn't. 

"How did you find those?" he asked, completely unperturbed. It wasn't the first time he had bad grades. Admittedly, he had better grades when Tsubasa was around, but it wasn't the first time.

"They were lying around the house, Einstein. Now finish up your dinner and get your school things." 

"What for?" the suspicion in his voice was audible.

Tsubasa sweatdropped. "Tomorrow's your special long test, right? You have to get a good score in this test or else your exams, or even special exams, won't save you!" her voice softened a little. "I don't want you to be unable to play in the basketball games just because of your grades. You're too good to deserve that." She brightened and rolled up her sleeves, grinning. "OK! We'll pull an all-nighter! And with my powers, I will ensure that you will ace this one!" 

Rukawa's eyes never left her as she spoke. _She can be terrifying, but when she's in a mood like this, she is unstoppable._

They quickly cleared the table of the remains of dinner, and after washing the dishes, Rukawa sat down across her, and she opened his books, the first time they had been opened for a long time. She scanned the contents with a quick eye, and drew out a fresh sheet of paper. When she looked up, she saw that he was already sleeping. She sweatdropped.

"Oy! Kaede-kun, wake up!" she cried, poking his head with her pen. He woke up, after a while, and they went through Geometry together. After a while it became apparent that he wasn't even acquainted to basic Geometry, so they had to backtrack to the very beginning. Tsubasa was an efficient teacher, and explained the subject carefully. But when the clock hit twelve, Rukawa could not keep his eyes open. 

"Geez! Don't sleep on me!" she yelled in his ear, and she leaned over to pull his eyelids up. Poor Rukawa looked like a drugged person, but she laughed at him anyway. She let his face plop back to the table and she wheeled herself away from the table and began to prepare something. She was back after a few moments, setting down two cups of dark liquid in front of him. She shook Rukawa awake again and he eyed at the two cups with apprehension.

"What's THAT?" he ventured to ask.

"It's a little something that helped me keep awake while studying. A friend in America gave me this pointer. It never failed me."

"I said, what is it?" 

"Oh!" she reddened slightly. "It's coffee mixed with Coke. Neither hot nor cold. Taa daa!" she sang, jokingly.

He wrinkled his nose. "It sounds disgusting." 

"And you're absolutely right. It's the worst glop in the world, but I didn't say it was delicious, did I? I just said it works." she smiled cheerfully, picking up one cup, and she took a big gulp. "Don't be a sissy! Try it!" and Rukawa did, and it ended up with a lot of hacking, coughing, and spitting. Tsubasa laughed. Rukawa looked like one betrayed.

"What are you looking at me for?" she asked, still laughing. "You should have seen your face! Hahahaha!" she herself had drunk it plenty of times, but she had the same reaction when she first drank it, but of course, she didn't tell him. "You'll be drinking some more of that later on, so might as well get used to it."

"………" he drank the rest of the glop, glaring at her above the rim of the cup. Tsubasa's banter, plus the mega dose of caffeine, helped him to stay alert and awake for the next three hours. They had already started on English, which Rukawa was very bad at, but he was startled when he heard her as she began to read a passage in English. She was quite fluent at it. Should he be surprised? Her father was an American, after all.

Tsubasa did not notice how thoughtfully Rukawa's eyes dwelled on her as she read on. Was she happy in America, he wondered. What did she do there? What kind of people did she meet? She suddenly looked like a stranger, sitting there, speaking in a language he did not fully understand.

"I never did…" 

Tsubasa was surprised to hear Rukawa speaking so abruptly. When she raised her eyes, she saw that he was watching her, and she blushed at the discovery. 

"I never did…ask you about America, did I?" 

The blush on her suddenly faded, and she paled, suddenly besieged by an acute consciousness of his presence. "No, I don't think you did." 

They were silent for a few moments. "What is there for you to know? What do you want to know?" she asked him, putting the book down on her lap, her manner suddenly detached. He did not say anything, but his eyes were still watchful. 

"The doctors there weren't able to do anything about your condition." He finally said, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. 

"No, they weren't." she replied quietly, a shade passing over her brow. "But it was entirely my fault, and not theirs." After a moment's pause, she continued, deciding to tell him the truth once and for all. Rukawa merely nodded, prodding her to continue.

"My fault because…as soon as I arrived in America, I wanted to prove something to myself." She recalled   thoughtfully, her eyes growing a little distant. "It's really stupid, if you think about it. I had resolved to myself long ago that if I cannot go on in basketball, I will excel in something else. I was determined to do it, and mama even supported me in my decision."

Rukawa was silent. Knowing Tsubasa—her making a decision like that was a serious thing. She surely had shown a lot of effort in doing the task. She was suddenly filled with the desire to tell him everything—everything.

"Living there was so hard. It was even harder to do what I had set out to do. I could not go back—I only had my studies to throw myself into, and there was no Kaede-chan to curtly remind me of my common sense. Mama began to get worried. The doctors began to get worried. They told me once, twice, many times, not to obsess over my studies, but I couldn't let it go. It made me forget, just for a little while, my regrets since I had arrived."

_Regrets?_

"As you can see, the result has been both good and bad." She laughed, but he couldn't help but notice that it was a trifle forced. "My chance of ever walking again has been lessened or delayed, because of my excessive study habits."

"But the main object of your going there has failed." He said.

"I know!" she said, a little too quickly, not able to meet his eyes. "Isn't it strange? I left this country, the ones that matter to me, to heal myself. But in the end I did not think of them, but only thought of myself and my pain." She looked at Rukawa as she said this, her eyes glistening. So she knew. She knew that her departure had hurt him. 

"If I do not ever get well again, I well deserve it. I am the worst sort of person you will ever meet, Kaede-kun. I was proud, and could not accept my defect…I…" here she could go on no more. She broke in quiet tears.

Before she knew what was happening, Rukawa had come over and was enfolding his arms around her, and she accepted his embrace.

"That's not true. A mistake does not make anyone a bad person." He said softly. "I'm sorry I had to bring this up. I didn't know." 

"I wanted you to know." She replied, burying her head on his shoulder. He let her cry freely. What she had been carrying for so long was finally released. The disappointment in herself was too heavy for her to carry alone. "I'll try again, Kaede-kun. I'll try my very best this time." 

_There was something else I was looking for in America. Something that I could not name, something I could not find. I ran after it, but it had always eluded me._

She had missed Rukawa so much. She had not realized until this moment.

_Could it be that I was looking for you all this time?_

"I'll be alright now." She extracted herself from Rukawa, wiping her eyes, smiling again. "We have to get back to work. No time for bawling." 

"Are you sure?" he asked, actually looking concerned, studying her face anxiously.

_I've never seen him like this before. _

_Maybe I've said too much, too quickly. But it doesn't matter now._

"Yeah! I'm better! Were you listening while I was reading?" in her flustered haste, she picked up the Biology book instead of the English book, both which were lying on the sofa beside her. She flipped through the pages, and ended up on a page full of pictures of monkeys of different kinds.

"Monkeys? I don't remember talking about monkeys." She wondered aloud, sweatdropping.

"Tsubasa." Rukawa began, pointing at one picture. "Doesn't that chimp look a little like you?" 

"Hwaa! That's so rude!" 

"Whoa." He pointed to a picture of a gorilla. "Didn't you have a crush on this guy in junior high?" he deadpanned. She blushed profusely and slammed the thick Biology book shut, crushing his hand in between in the process.

"Oww. That hurt." He said, but she seriously wondered if it did, because he said it so expressionlessly.

_Although saying that I look like a chimp wasn't very nice—he's doing it to make me feel better. This is a side of him that no one has ever really seen yet…_

_Kaede-kun. Thank you._

----

Rukawa took one last look at her before stepping out of the door. They had studied until six in the morning, and she was the first one who gave out and fell asleep. Her meeting was not until this afternoon, and she had instructed him to use the car to get to school. 

_I feel like somehow I am closer to her now. In a way we have never been before._

She was sleeping peacefully and deeply now, one hand clutching the coverlet he had put over her tightly. It was amazing she could still be able to sleep, after what seemed to be a gallon of coffee-Coke mix. He was still experiencing the effects, and was only hoping that it was long enough to last him until the long tests were over. He had never seen anyone study so hard, even though in this case, he was the one who was studying. __

_I'll do my best for you today, Tsubasa._

With this, he turned and left.

----

He remembered, in the past, Tsubasa had asked him why he didn't like any of the girls whom had a crush on him. He could not answer her question, and she thought it was fun to tease him about. She cajoled, pestered, and laughed, but he could not answer, for the fear of saying too much and exposing himself to her. 

"Why? Tell me!" she said, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Despite your cold personality and less-than-polite manners, many girls are still willing to accept you as you are." 

"I doubt that." 

"Tse! It's true! It's a miracle no one's following us home now!" 

_I wonder if those girls really know me. I don't think they do. If they did, they would see an entirely different person. How did they first see me? Playing basketball? Sleeping in class? How could I believe that they really feel strongly for me when they do not even know me, only having seen me in things that could not possibly betray what I am inside?_

"If you ever get yourself a girlfriend, you better hide all your pictures as a kid." Tsubasa rattled on, skipping over a small pile of leaves lying in the path. "You were so sickly and pale, and not handsome at all! Your girlfriend wouldn't want THAT in her wallet." 

_There is only one person in the whole world who knows me through and through. She has seen me in countless moods, everyday. She knows everything about me. _

_And it is this girl, Tsubasa._

"Maaa…ne, Kaede-chan." The serious tone in her voice made him stop in his tracks. Tsubasa was looking pensively at the ground. "You know, last week, my friend told me that she had a boyfriend. It's a strange thing, and I was happy for her. Demo…ever since, she's been acting weird. Paying less attention to us, the way she talks and acts differently as the way we knew her. It's a little depressing." (Kaede: [thinking] So what? I don't care.)

"When we grow older, I'm sure we'll have someone we care about. But promise me!" she stepped in front of Kaede and extended her hand. "That when we do, we won't change!" he seemed surprised at this. Then again, Tsubasa was always prone to unexpected outbursts. 

"That we'll always stay the same!" her face looked earnest now. With a resigned sigh (Kaede: Whatever!) and a careless shrug, Kaede entwined his pinkie finger around hers. 

"I promise, Tsubasa." She smiled at his words. "We won't change." 

"I'll be counting on that." With this, she skipped on ahead, humming happily to herself.

_But even though I promised her that we would stay that way forever, I knew that I didn't really mean it. That I was going to break this pledge to her. Even at that moment, I knew—my feelings for her was slowly changing into something more than friendship…_

"Hurry up, you slowpoke! I'm hungry! Even though I'm not officially in the team, Fuyutsuko-sensei still trains me like mad, you know!!" she yelled back at him. He quickened his pace.

_I knew that I would chase her someday, to have a smile just for me. The day I made a promise to her, I made a promise to myself—that someday I will make her mine._

----

"Yeah, I'm free on that day. No, it's no problem at all. I understand Mr. Kagae's dilemma. Ok. Ok. Thank you!" Tsubasa put down the phone, and after staring at it for a few moments, she retrieved her organizer and pen from her purse. She crossed out the meeting she had scheduled for that day and jotted it down on another part of the page. 

_Seems like I'm completely free today, then._

She flipped over her agenda, and found herself looking into the phone numbers of her friends. Then her eyes paused on one name. Then she picked up the phone receiver again and began to dial the listed number.

----

Two hours later, Tsubasa was sitting outside the gate of a Japanese-style house. A flood of nostalgia overcame her. She used to visit this house quite often in her junior highschool days, and now she was back, and it was amazing how some things don't change. Even the very street the house was standing upon did not change, as if the whole place was suspended in time. Hesitating for a moment, she raised her hand to knock, only she did not need to do it—it opened before she could even do so.

A kindly looking old man was smiling at her, leaning heavily against a cane. Tsubasa looked into his familiar twinkling eyes and smiled. 

"Tsubasa! Come in! I've been expecting you. Were you long in waiting?" Fuyutsuko-sensei pushed the gate wider to let Tsubasa pass. 

"Thank you, no. I was just about to knock when you opened the door." She replied gratefully as she wheeled herself in. She glanced up at Fuyutsuko-sensei, and it seemed to her that he had grown older of late, his limp worse than when she last saw it. But his voice and manner seemed to be the same—resounding and commanding, yet kindly and good-humored.

He ushered her into the porch, where a table was already waiting for them, set with riceballs and tea. Seeing all this, Tsubasa was quick to apologize. 

"You shouldn't have, sir, really…to have you do all this trouble…" 

"Nonsense. I've been very pleased of hearing you coming back, and it's better yet that you visited me earlier than what was planned." Fuyutsuko-sensei replied, laughing heartily and seating himself across her. "You didn't think I wouldn't be prepared in seeing you? After three years?" 

"You're very kind, sir." Tsubasa's ears went pink, and he laughed again, offering her tea, which she happily accepted. 

"I've been hearing some rumors, while you were away, Tsubasa-chan." Fuyutsuko-sensei began, after a moment of silence. 

"Rumors, sir?" she looked puzzled. She had exchanged letters with him while she was away in America, and she was surprised that he should hear any rumor about her. "What rumors?" 

"Of a certain student whom Japanese and American schools are fighting over—I wonder who that is?" he teased, eyes twinkling merrily.

Tsubasa simply smiled.

"So what did you think of America, the land where your father was born?" Fuyutsuko inquired, already on his second cup of tea.

"It's a very nice country. It was hard to adjust at first, but…" here she paused. "In a way it has become like a second home to me. The people aren't so nice as they are back here, but there are several worthy individuals worth mentioning. I have grown to love it there. Mama has shown me where she and Papa met, and several other sites when I first came there." She shook her head and laughed. "Anyway, how are YOU, doing, sir? How is your family?" 

"Well, I was very sorry you couldn't meet them today. They went off to the hot springs. Oh, don't look distressed. You didn't hold me back. In fact I really didn't feel like going myself, so I stayed and waited for you. They're doing very well, thanks for asking. My eldest daughter is due to give birth next month." 

"Oh, but that's just wonderful!" 

"Isn't it?" his eyes sparkled with quiet joy. "Well, as things begin, things will also end. I'll be retiring from my duties as coach by the next season." 

"Retiring?" Tsubasa echoed in disbelief. "Retiring! But why, sensei?" 

"Ah—well, as you can see, I'm not as young as I used to be." He held up a lock of white hair from his head, smiling. Tsubasa still looked like she could not believe it. "Don't look so surprised. Tomigaoka is going to get a good coach after me." 

"Yes, but they'll miss a good lot without you." She responded, biting into a rice ball thoughtfully. "Sensei!" she laughed, seeing his expression. "Why do you look like you don't believe me? It's true. You were the one who paved the way towards the best years of my life." She said, gratitude brimming in her voice. 

"Now that is really nonsense. We can only make ourselves have the best years if we want to. Certainly you have worked hard enough to achieve what you had achieved back then." He sat back and looked her over with fond eyes. "Yes, I can still remember those days. I'm hardly the one to be blamed for it."

He looked at her with a keen eye. "It doesn't seem like I'm the only one growing old. You seem to have grown quite a bit in America, yourself, my dear. It's always hinted at in your letters, but now I have seen it for myself." 

Tsubasa blushed at this statement and could not find anything to say in reply for a moment. "Have I really changed so much?" she ventured to ask.

"If I were the person who only knew you as a basketball player—young and brash and quite tomboyish." She laughed at this. "…I would say that you have changed remarkably. Thankfully, that is not the case. I'll just say that there is another part of your nature that had unfolded." He sobered, and was thoughtful for a few moments. "You have gone through a trial that severely tried your spirit and endurance, your patience and perseverance. After all that, no one can really be the same. No one knows it better than I." For he had also gone through an accident that prevented him from playing basketball, just like her.  "The brashness in your nature has subsided, in fact, you're quite reserved now. You're more conscious of the people around you and their feelings."

"You know me quite well, sir, to see all these changes in just a few moments of company with each other." She said, smiling faintly. "I cannot say that you have perceived me wrongly, though." 

"I have picked them up from your letters to me. You have changed, for the better, Tsubasa-chan. And although I will miss the lively, active girl that I once knew, I will never regard her so highly as I do now." 

She suddenly felt her eyes become wet as she reached out to grasp the aged fingers of her beloved teacher. "Thank you, sensei. I don't feel I deserve such praise." He smiled kindly at her.

"Well!" he quickly brightened, waving his hand in front of his face, as if to brush the serious mood of the moment away. "Enough of that. I trust you've met with Rukawa now, right? How is he? I've heard that he's improving quite a lot these days." 

"So have I." 

"I can believe it. I've never seen anyone like Rukawa before—except perhaps you, Tsubasa. He just seems so…_determined _in his playing, yet no one can really understand why, or more accurately, what force drives him. Well, whatever it is, it works for him. 

"Have you seen him play basketball since you arrived, Tsubasa?" 

Fuyutsuko-sensei's question caught Tsubasa off guard. She seemed to struggle against something within herself before answering honestly that no, she hadn't seen him play now.

Fuyutsuko looked at her carefully before responding. "Do you plan on seeing him play, Tsubasa?" 

The uncomfortable feeling in her chest grew. "I have to admit, no." she said softly. She saw her former coach's face fall, as if from disappointment. "…at first. I didn't—I resolved not to see him play at all." She felt almost ashamed to say these things, but somehow it felt like a great burden was being lifted off her shoulders. Fuyutsuko was listening intently. "But slowly…my feelings are starting to change—it's changing something in me." 

_Too long have I lived solely for myself in order to forget._

"You are starting to think of other people more deeply." He observed, sipping his tea. "Thinking of them as entities separate from yourself and your condition." His eyes smiled at her over the rim of the cup.

"I've regretted many things and I was hurting as well." She replied in turn. 

"Have you tried playing basketball after your accident, Tsubasa?" he asked, rather abruptly. She looked a little mystified at this question, and shook her head. 

"And why haven't you?" his eyebrows were drawn together, his look stern. "Have you forgotten how to play?" 

Tsubasa stared at him. Then she smiled in understanding.

-----

_Starting today, I'll let go of my past._

_ Starting today, I'll let go of my regrets._

_Starting today, I'll start anew. It's not too late._

She was sitting by the window, looking outside, thinking, as she always did as a child. Her talk with Fuyutsuko-sensei was refreshing, and put her in a reflective mood. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted with a bang—someone had slammed the door. 

"Kaede-kun?" she called, but no one answered. She wheeled herself out of the room, looking around for him, but he was nowhere in sight. He seemed slightly altered today, she thought. He was silent in the car after she picked him up, and although that was not very surprising, it seemed like he had a lot on his mind. She looked at the door, and making a decision, she headed towards it.

Pushing the wheels, she headed down the pathway and out onto the sidewalk. She didn't know where she was going to look for him, in fact she didn't know what was pushing her to follow him, but she didn't care. She kept on wheeling herself, ignoring the curious stares of passersby. 

She paused by the park, when the sound of a basketball hitting the pavement made her stop on her tracks. She looked to her left, and saw him, playing basketball. He played with such ease and grace and freedom that it almost made her forget to breathe. She watched him quickly avoid an imaginary opponent and extend one hand upward and effortlessly launched the ball into the basket. 

What do you like best about basketball playing, Yamazaki-sempai? Someone had asked her long ago. Tsubasa smiled at the memory of her answer.

"It's the flying." The interviewer looked puzzled at her response, but she can only laugh at him and go on her way. 

When he finally landed on his feet, he straightened and wiped his hand across his brow, unconscious of her presence. 

"That was really great. I'm impressed." He jumped at the sound of her voice, and he found her sitting there, smiling at him, clapping her hands. 

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I just wanted to go out for a little air." She lied, as Rukawa went over to help her into the park's half-court. "And I caught you playing. Yoi, you're so good at it, too, Kaede-kun!" 

"Don't be stupid." He muttered, feeling slightly embarrassed, confused feelings swimming inside him as he looked at her. He was almost sure she would feel resentful of seeing him play, but something seemed to have changed in her. 

"Can I borrow the ball for a while?" she suddenly asked, and he complied. She twirled it in her hands, looking thoughtful. 

_I won't be able to catch up with him in this ever again, but it doesn't matter now. No more regrets. I've hurt too many people by that, including myself._

With a deep breath, she raised her arms and threw the ball towards the basket. It only struck the ring, though, and it bounced on the ground. She watched it silently as it rolled towards her.

"Tsubasa…" he began, but he was surprised to see a big grin on her face as she bent over to pick it up. 

"I didn't think the first try would be easy. But I won't give up!" she said cheerfully, waving the ball around with one hand. Rukawa seemed to be taken aback but this, but his blue eyes softened in understanding, and he nodded in reply. 

_I won't let disappointment block my way from anything ever again!_

But before she could shoot the ball, an angry yell distracted her. 

"You have guts to show your face around here! I know you're the one who snitched on me!" an ugly kid who looked around to be ten years old, flanked by two companions as unpleasant-looking as he, had cornered a little boy who looked like he was half their age. Before the bully could say another word, a basketball, quick as lightning, flew towards him and hit him squarely on his face, knocking him on the ground.

"Oy, you there!" Tsubasa shouted. "You're too noisy! Can't you see someone is trying to practice here?!"

Pride injured, the bully stood up, basketball markings on his face. He was about to say something insulting to the wheelchair-bound Tsubasa when Rukawa suddenly loomed over them, glaring at him with those infamous cutting eyes. 

"Leave." And that was all he needed to send the three scampering off in fear. When he turned to face the little boy, he was no longer there. He was already running up to Tsubasa, the basketball in his hands.

"Is this yours?" he asked as soon as Tsubasa was within earshot. She nodded and took it from him. He didn't seem to be affected by the bullying earlier. He was all smiles, and was very cute, too. He had big brown eyes, chubby cheeks and a happy demeanor. "Do you play basketball?" 

She grinned when he asked this. "Yes, in fact I do." 

"I've never seen anyone using a chair before, though!" he looked curiously at the wheelchair. 

"It's a special kind of basketball that I was trying to learn, before those guys interrupted me." She explained, winking at Rukawa as he walked up to them. 

"Yeah. Thanks for helping me!" he jumped up and down.

"My name's Tsubasa, and this is my good friend, Kaede. What's your name?" 

"My name's Rue!" he replied, hopping up and down again. He glanced at Rukawa, and very confidentially leaning towards Tsubasa, he whispered. "Does HE play basketball, too?"

"Yeah! In fact, he's one of the best basketball players around." Tsubasa replied, taking Rukawa's hand, in an effort not to squeeze the little boy's pudgy cheeks.

"Really! Wow!" he looked up in awe at the towering Rukawa. "I'm not surprised! He's such a big giant!" Rukawa sweatdropped at this. "I also want to be a basketball player someday, too! I came out here to practice, you know!" 

"If you are, you should have brought along a friend or someone from your family. Those bullies might attack you again." 

"They usually do, but they won't let me in the basketball court so I snuck out today." He seemed to sober at the reminder of the bullies. "I won't do it again, though." 

"Send the brat home, Tsubasa. His parents will be looking for him." Rukawa suddenly said. Rue looked up at him in awe.

"Wow! You can actually talk!" he breathed in wonder. (haha that's really surprising for me too, kid. ;p)

"Will wonders never cease, eh?" Tsubasa laughed, shaking her head. "But I think he's right, Rue-chan. You better be going home now." 

Rue's adorable face fell. "But no one's home today." He said softly. "My nanny is on vacation, that's why I'm alone. My dad won't be home until tonight." 

"You're all alone in the house?!" Tsubasa echoed in disbelief. Rukawa looked unmoved. "How old are you, Rue-chan?" 

"I'm five!"

"What?!" Tsubasa looked quite shocked, but she recovered herself on time. Anyway, she was almost in the same situation when she was that age, so SHE wasn't in the position to say anything other than, "I can't believe your dad just let you stay in the house without anyone." 

"I'm a smart kid." Rue replied, smiling.

"I'll bet." Rukawa snorted, thinking of how he almost got clobbered by the bullies. 

"Still, you have to go home now." She insisted, but the little boy shook his head.

"My dad isn't home yet! It's boring to be in the house all alone!" he glanced at the basketball lying on the ground. "I wanna learn how to play basketball! Please! Please?" his big pleading eyes were irresistible. And before she knew it, she was already instructing him the rudiments of basketball.

"First, you have to dribble the ball." She said, drawing him to the side of the half-court.

"How do you do that?" he asked innocently.

"Kaede-kun!" she tossed the ball over to him. "Please show us how to dribble a ball!" 

He caught the ball, and shook his head. 

"Kaede-kun!" she shouted again. He remained stony-faced and she crossed her arms, glaring at him. "Dribble the ball!" 

"No." 

"The heck…! Don't be so stubborn! How hard is it to dribble a ball!?" she said, but still he would not be swayed. 

"No." he repeated, more forcefully.

"I'll throw my shoe at you, I really will." She warned, but he could see she was trying very hard not to laugh. Rue looked at the two in confusion. The two glared at each other for a full minute, then, with a resigned sigh, Rukawa began to dribble in place. Rue clapped his hands delightedly.

"Yare yare. What am I? A performing monkey?" He muttered to himself, still dribbling the ball.

"Then, you can run around the basketball court while dribbling the ball." He heard her say to Rue, who was listening to her intently. She grinned at him and waved. "OK! Kaede-kun! Run while dribbling!" he didn't react, resolving to take no part of this anymore, no matter what she said.

"RUKAWA KAEDE! YOU BETTER RUN AROUND WITH THAT BALL OR ELSE…!" she yelled so loudly that several passersby stopped and stared. Rue jumped up and down and clapped his hands, running over to Rukawa. 

"Is it like this, oneesan?" he asked, dribbling an imaginary ball and running around. 

"Very good! Hey, I think you're even better than Kaede!" she cried approvingly, coming over and getting the ball from a disgruntled Rukawa. "And then…you shoot the ball through the basket!" she told him, pointing at the basket hanging above.

"Let me! Let me!" Rue cried eagerly, jumping up and down [Rukawa: "He hops around too much."]. He took the ball from her and tried to throw it, but it proved too heavy for him. Rukawa studied the two of them for a moment, deciding, and then made up his mind. Bending over, he picked up Rue and put the little boy on his shoulders, much to Tsubasa's surprise.

Rue laughed delightedly. "Wow! It's so high up here!" he exclaimed.

"Kaede-kun's not a building, you know." Tsubasa said, sweatdropping. Rukawa made no comment and walked over until they were very near to the basket. 

"Throw it in, you little brat." He said impassively.

"OK!" Rue nodded, then took a deep breath. "Hup two three! Throoow!" he raised his pudgy little arms and with a heave, threw the basketball in. It went through cleanly. Rukawa quickly set him down so he could hop all he wanted on the ground.

"Whee! It got in! It got in!" he exclaimed, hopping towards Tsubasa. "I'm so good at this!" 

"Yeah, no thanks to me." Rukawa muttered to himself, sardonically. Tsubasa was nodding and smiling and to his surprise, Rue ran back to him and hugged his leg. 

"Arigato…oniichan!" Rue said before running up to Tsubasa and hugging her, too. Tsubasa hugged him back, and she saw Rukawa's eyes light up and he quickly went back to his mode of indifference.

_He's not comfortable with showing his feelings—it's really his nature. But that makes it all more special when he does show it. He is not unkind…as much as other people think. He has just a different way of showing it._

It was Rukawa who tried to prevent her into going into fights, but he wasn't going to back down from her side if it was unavoidable. 

"See you later, then, oniichan, oneesan!" Rue waved happily from the doorstep of his house, before going in through the door. Tsubasa smiled and waved back, and she forced Rukawa to wave as well.

"He's a cute kid, isn't he?" Tsubasa said as they walked home, Rukawa guiding her wheelchair. 

"He's a little monster." He replied without missing a beat.

"I take it that you like him then." she teased, grinning widely. "It was very nice of you to help him shoot the ball, Kaede-kun." She said, looking up at him, her green eyes smiling at him. He said nothing, and the rest of the walk home was silent, and neither disturbed it, each contemplating the changing regard they had for each other.

-----

The next two days passed by uneventfully. Tsubasa's list of people to meet with was slowly thinning down. She spent most of her extra time with Rukawa, either watching him practice in the park with Rue, or helping him with his studies. Sometimes she dropped by Fuyutsuko-sensei's house just to talk. But she was most often with Rukawa, but somehow, something was starting to bother Tsubasa, but she did not quite understand what. Sometimes she would catch herself smiling alone for no particular reason whatsoever. She wondered at her change of behavior, and could confide in no one, not even her mentor. And when she considered of talking of her feelings to Rukawa, she would suddenly blush and wave the idea away.

On the third day, the visiting party that Haruko had hinted at finally came. Tsubasa was surprised to see all her former teammates—and even some of the male teammates she had in her first year, but she was glad to see them nonetheless.

"You should've told me of your coming." She said, ushering them in the house. "The house is a mess! The least I could do was clean it up a little." 

"Oh, don't bother about it sempai. We're all just here to see you! You're looking so well!" Haruko exclaimed, and the others seconded the pronouncement. Tsubasa laughed and thanked them, but she heard a familiar voice come in through the door.

"You're looking as spunky as ever before, Yamazaki." Tsukiyama, the captain of the men's basketball team in her freshman year, was smiling down at Tsubasa, and quickly leaned down to hug her.

"Sempai!" Tsubasa laughed as she hugged him back tightly. "It's so good to see you! It's been so long!" 

"Has it?" Tsukiyama reached out and ruffled her hair. "I would think so! Your hair is so long now!"

"Waai! That's true, captain! Yamazaki-sempai looks so pretty!"  

"Really?" another old friend of Tsubasa's, Yoshihiko Kagaiwa, appeared, carrying several boxes of pizza. "Then I think I'm in big trouble then." He said smilingly. 

Rukawa, in the meantime, quietly gathered his things and made a quick exit. Everyone was talking at once that only Haruko, gathering courage, asked him to stay with the group. Rukawa did not even bother answering her invitation and went upstairs in order not to be in their way. When he looked back, he saw that Tsubasa was looking at him, and seeing him looking at her, she turned her eyes somewhere else. 

"Tell us everything about America, Yamazaki-sempai! Oh! Did you get any boyfriends there?" one of the girls asked. He hastened his steps and disappeared into one of the bedrooms upstairs.

----

_Once upon a time,_

_I woke up with a little boy sleeping beside me. I didn't know his name, I didn't know where he came from, and I even thought I was in a dream. Suddenly, and so easily, we gained another member in our family. When we went to school, no one thought it strange, for us to be living together, because they naturally assumed that we were related by blood. Even I did not think it strange. There is no sad nor happy memory without Kaede—he was always there. I always thought of him as a brother._

_So why?_

_Why is it all changing now?_

_Is it really changing…or was it what was inside me all this time?_

----

Tsubasa shook her head and playfully swatted the question away. "Boyfriends? I don't think so. I was too busy studying to pay attention to boys at that time." 

"Maaa…that's so boring, sempai!"

"If I only knew beforehand you'd be begging me for love stories, I would've gotten out and found myself one." She teased, but as she spoke, there was a pained look in her eyes that she quickly covered up with a smile.

----

_Yes, I did meet someone in America. But I had hurt him so badly that I don't think I have any right to speak of him. He was a doctor…and that was how we met. After a while, he went up to me and asked me to marry him, and he promised to take care of me for the rest of my life._

_I refused. I do not want to plague anyone with my disability for the rest of THEIR lives. I didn't think I could let myself be taken care of by anyone. My decision was final. But lately I've been wondering…_

_Did I really feel something—no, anything, for him?_

_It's all so different now._

-----

Several hours passed. Everyone assembled were trading stories in earnest now, telling of what had passed in the last three years. In the course of the chat, Tsukiyama excused himself from the conversation, with the excuse that he had to get some more drinks for the company. They excused him, and he went over to the kitchen, and was surprised to see Rukawa standing there. Rukawa merely glanced at him and went back to studying the thermos, which was in front of him, waiting for the water to boil so he could make himself some coffee.

Tsukiyama, in nature being friendlier than Rukawa (well, come to think of it, all of us are!), greeted him. "Hey, Rukawa. It's been a long time, eh?" 

Rukawa said nothing. 

But Tsukiyama was persistent, even though he had already graduated from Tomigaoka before Rukawa joined the basketball team, he still considered himself well acquainted enough with Rukawa to talk to him in a more or less familiar manner. "I've seen some of your games. You're turning out great. Makes me wish I were still playing basketball." 

Still Rukawa said nothing. Seeing that his companion was in a perpetual non-conversant mood, Tsukiyama leaned back against the sink, cracking a soda can open and sipping it thoughtfully. Outside, the girlish chatter, with several exclamations made by Kagaiwa, could be heard. 

"_She's_ turned out great, didn't she?" Tsukiyama suddenly said after a long pause, startling the younger boy. He looked up to Tsukiyama, and saw that he was thoughtful, his eyes fixed on the floor. "She's a really cool person, ever since I met her, I knew it instantly." He went on, more to himself than to Rukawa. 

"I really loved her." He said softly, not caring if Rukawa heard him or not. He laughed and looked up to a very surprised kitsune. "But she's an Untouchable, you know that? Just like you. It's easy to win her friendship, but it's so hard to win her heart. I knew I couldn't win her."

"And I wanted to see her this time, to see if I had any hope left. Now I know. There is no hope." He strode over to Rukawa and put a hand on his shoulder, his eyes suddenly hard and piercing. "She's been in love with someone else, all along."

The thermos bottle suddenly indicated the water was boiled, but Rukawa did not notice it. He could only stare in astonishment at Tsukiyama. 

Tsukiyama broke out in a grin. "Don't be a fool, Rukawa. Don't let her slip by your fingers, just like what I did. I would've told her my feelings—I _should've_ told her my feelings, but I didn't, because of what I know." With that, he let go and walked back to the door. Rukawa was still dumbfounded, and Tsukiyama looked back and smiled at him knowingly.

"She's waiting for you." And then he left.

----

_Tsukiyama's words sent a shock through me. What he said to me, although it was a rather awkward way of saying it, gave me something to cling on, something that I dared not admit even to myself. _

_Hope._

-----

"It was good seeing everyone again." Tsubasa sighed, as the last of the visitors left, and already it was late in the evening. Rukawa saw that she was happy, and was glad to see her in such high spirits. However, they were tasked to the hard job of cleaning up after the impromptu 'welcome back' party. Already he was picking up the empty cardboard pizza boxes and Tsubasa was putting the chairs back to their original positions. Seeing this, he quickly strode over to her and told her to get some rest. 

"Alright, then." She said, smiling. "I'll wait for you until you finish." 

She watched him as he moved around with his quiet ways. However, there was something different about him now, something on her mind that was bothering her. "The thought of leaving again in a few days is harder than when I first left, three years ago." She didn't know what made her say this, but she did. "Seeing the places I've grown up in, my friends—memories handed to me all over again. I've always imagined home as something that will never change, and I have been proven wrong."

"Yes." Rukawa interrupted abruptly, standing in front of her, gazing down in her eyes intently. "Things will always change." 

She met his gaze steadily. "And that is what makes it so beautiful." And he saw her smile faintly at this. "So many things have changed, but I am yet to be disappointed in anything that I have seen." 

 "Will it be enough to  make you stay?" he said softly, but he already knew her answer. 

She shook her head, her eyes determined. "I gave up one dream for another." She replied, but she said it with a tinge of sadness. "My old dream is with you now, Kaede-kun. You're the only person I can trust it with. I have a new dream to pursue, and I have no plan of letting it go." 

"Can nothing else make you stay?" he persisted. He sounded dispirited, weak, but hopeful, nonetheless. A new emotion was revealed in his eyes, and for a while Tsubasa was quiet, unsure, wavering—afraid. 

"I'm tired, Kaede-kun." She said, lowering her eyes, and both their hearts fell. Without wasting another moment, she made her exit, leaving him alone with his thoughts and seemingly lost hope, burning brightly only moments before.

----

_I cried myself to sleep that night. It seemed so hopeless, for the two of us. He asked me if I could give up something I equally loved, and I could not. He, of all people, should be the one to understand me. But his understanding is the one that hurt me most. I wish he would get angry with me, yell at me—anything. But his silence—his disappointment—was almost unbearable. _

_How long had you felt this way, Kaede-kun? Why should you be so generous and kind? My heart aches so much I cannot breathe._

----

Rukawa fell asleep on the couch, and was awakened by a loud cry—Tsubasa's voice.

"Kaede-kun!" she shouted, her voice coming from outside. Rukawa was immediately awake, a miracle in itself, and suddenly he was running. There was an urgency in her voice that he had never heard before and he was suddenly afraid that something bad had happened, and a thousand horrible things were running in his head, one more awful than the next. He jumped over seats, flung doors open, and dashed to where she was, his fears overpowering any loneliness he felt the night before.

But nothing could have prepared him for what he saw.

Under the cherry tree where they first met, was Tsubasa, smiling and crying at the same time—standing on her own feet. 

"Kaede-kun!" she called again, holding out her hand, and he ran towards her, forgetting everything else, knowing in his heart that what he had been waiting for had come—what they had both waited for had finally come. He embraced her, before her feet could give way, and held her tightly, and suddenly he was crying too. 

She was laughing and sobbing, holding onto Rukawa, a new peace washing over her. At that moment, she understood now, what they had to do, what _she _had to do.  

_All this time, I couldn't tell him because I didn't fully know myself, nor my heart._

"I felt like I could do it, and I did!" she giggled through her tears. It was wonderful. She had somehow did feel like she could do it, and her limbs followed her, as if awakened. He said nothing, and caressed her hair gently. She added, in a softer tone, "I'm so happy." 

"I understand now, Kaede." She looked up to him, her eyes still filled with happy tears. "I know now why I didn't get well in America. I was looking for you. I missed you so much. I've been waiting for this for so long." 

"And so have I." Words suddenly came rushing to him. "Tsubasa, I'm so sorry, I asked you to stay, when I knew you have gone through so much for your dream…" she silenced him with a shake of her head.

"If one could throw dreams away, I would stay, and be here with you." She whispered.  

"But I don't want you to throw your dreams away." He said in turn. He understood only too well. If she asked him to go to America with her, right here, right now, he would, but he knew she would not. But it didn't matter now—whether they were together or apart, in two sides of the world.

Their feelings for each other were stronger than that.

_When did I start feeling this—I do not know. Perhaps it was creeping up to me, little by little…and he was waiting for that, waiting for me, ever so patiently…_

"So this is how tall I am." She murmured, smiling. She was in fact up to Rukawa's nose, and she felt she could stand longer, with his support. A breeze passed the two, and they both remembered, how things were, the past years…

_This is the moment where friendship at last turns into love. All the things we have been through…are merely an overture to this. _

_An overture to the future. An overture to happiness._

_With you._

"Let's chase after our dreams…and meet each other, at the converging road—Kaede." 

"My only dream is to be a person worthy of you." He replied, raising one hand to wipe her tears away. Then his lips softly blossomed into a smile, and he looked so different when he did. "I'll do my best, if you promise you will do your best—"

"And I will wait. We will wait." They did not need to hurry. They had no need to. "I know, starting today, I'll get better now." 

He laughed. "You better run to me when we meet again, the same way you made me run two minutes ago! You had me worried!"

"Worried about what?" she teased, grinning.

"I've forgotten." He shook his head, and nothing more was said, the silence broken only by the rustle of the wind in the leaves, watched only by the cherry tree that had watched both of them grow up, over the years. The same cherry tree that had witnessed their conversations, their sorrows, and at last, this newfound happiness. He held her and she leaned on him, trusted him.

So how did the story end?

Not with a kiss, as most stories go. It ended with a promise, silently given, silently said.

To be bound to each other, in time meet again, and then… 

Who knew? But then again that is what makes life—and love—so interesting.

~ OWARI ~

Yes! It's THE end! *throws confetti around* Sorry if it was "rather" waffy, but I had to make up for the lack of it from the previous chapters! RC-chan, I hope you liked it! Okay, people, you can go puke now, with my blessing. Thanks so much for all of those who have read this fanfic, but I'll leave that part to Sendoh.  Oh wait, there's still an epilogue coming up! ^^; Sheesh…

Sendoh: Yeah "sheesh" indeed. My dear lovely Yui-chan would like to thank: micchy-no-koibito, fawkes, just a visitor, aNgeLoFdaRkNEsS, Maria, Ran&Van_Fan and Yuki Kitsune no Tsuki. Arigato gozaimasu!

Yui: Yeah! And happy new year to everyone!

Sendoh: Ano…it's kinda late for that sort of greeting, Yui-chan.

Yui: :p  Oh alright then! Enjoy your vacation, everyone! (why must you always contradict everything I say?? I am TOTALLY not writing a fic about you!!)

Sendoh: …… -_-;


	8. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

* You thought it didn't exist, eh? Well it does! *mad scientist laughter* After FOUR MONTHS!!!!  Special thank you to sai and Yuki Oken and of course my sister RanVanFan for kicking my lazy butt into action once again. ^_^ This one's for you.

-----

An envelope fell down to his feet as he opened his locker. 

Rukawa bent over and picked it up. His eyes widened when he saw that it was a love letter. Beyond all doubt, it was a love letter.

It had been so long since he received any of these letters again. Perhaps because of his personality, it wasn't really encouraging to girls to give him letters. It wasn't obvious that he was aware of this, but he was. When he became first known in basketball, they came in swarms, but as it became clear to his admirers that he wasn't even going to appear the place where the girl asked him to meet them, they dwindled until they eventually stopped. (Rukawa's too scary, ne?)

He turned it over in his hands, thinking. He wondered what he should do it. A year ago, he would've thrown the letter away without another thought. But things were different now. He couldn't help but think of her…how every day away from her seemed like eternity. He was seeing her face now, smiling at him, telling him not to throw love letters away, to be sensitive to other people's feelings. For a brief moment, he wished this came from _her_, that by some miracle she was waiting around a corner, so she could put her arms around him. But he knew that was next to impossible. Just recently he was informed that Tsubasa had a relapse, and it the road to full recovery stretched farther, and that the doctor advised her not to travel. They were always in touch, talking through the telephone, but it was not the same. 

He stared at the envelope for a few moments more, than with a sigh tore it open in one movement. The note was unsigned, and very simply said: 

_Dear Rukawa-sama, _

_Please meet me at the rooftop after classes. Thank you. _

The note was written in a delicate handwriting, vaguely familiar but he couldn't place where he had seen it before. Two conflicting emotions: the person he was before, the person he was now. Should he go? This girl was foolish to even ask. He could still see the last one he had turned down, some years ago. How her face fell, how she cried. But this time, he would be saying…

His lips broke into a rare smile. No, he wouldn't be telling a stranger of his feelings. Not yet, until he would be able to tell her this himself, directly, the way she always wanted it. 

-----

She slowly climbed up the stairs, her footsteps echoing throughout the empty staircase leading to the rooftop. She wondered if he had gotten the letter yet, and if he would come. She placed one hand against her chest, feeling her heart beat. 

She had finally reached the rooftop. A hot breeze blew over her, tumbling her hair, but she didn't mind it. Summer was quickly drawing near, indeed. She studied her surroundings. This rooftop was where he had spent many of his free hours, thinking, dreaming…she wished she could talk to him about his dreams. She walked over to the grills, looking at the skyline. This was the first time she was at the rooftop. It was a long time since she was last here. 

She watched as an airplane fly over the sky, shimmering white against the blue. She shaded her eyes with one graceful hand. Will he come with me there, she wondered. 

-----

Rukawa put one hand in his pocket and felt the paper brush against his fingers. The damn letter wouldn't leave him alone, wouldn't it? He didn't know why, but he seemed to be obsessively going back to thinking of the letter, on who was brave enough to ask tell him her real feelings…hopefully, it was a her.

Hopefully, it was she. Tsubasa. He didn't know why, but he kept on hoping and wishing that it were her, playing a little teasing joke to announce her arrival. And didn't she promise him, a year ago before she left back to America, that she would have a special surprise for him? 

And then the bell rang, one sweet note after another. He stood up, gathered his things and shuffled out of the door slowly. Some of his classmates gave him tentative smiles and one of the guys even suggested that Rukawa should eat with them sometime. Things were changing, little by little, and he was surprised to discover that he didn't mind the change at all. There was something liberating about it. 

"Oooooi, kitsuneee!" someone yelled behind his back.

Some things though, never changed. 

Sakuragi Hanamichi came strutting up to him, grinning smugly all over his face. He made a satisfied noise and held up a sheet of paper in front of Rukawa's nose. A big number "80" was written in red ink on the top, and it was encircled several times by a black pen, which Rukawa suspected was Sakuragi's doing, just to magnify his "intelligence" some more. 

"Look at it closely and weep, baka kitsune." Sakuragi was saying, running a hand through his newly cropped hair, forgetting that he had just had cut. "You think you're smart? I got an 80 with this chemistry exam! Practically breezed through it! Muwahahahaha! What can you say to that?" 

"Nothing." He replied as he fished out a folded piece of paper from his other pocket. He unfolded it and held it up in front of Sakuragi's face. "Except that I got an 85." 

It took a split second for the red number to be hit by light and received by Sakuragi's eyes. It took that time for Sakuragi to turn into smug student who got an 80 to a wild boar with a very pissed howl.

"It can't be!" he bellowed, grabbing Rukawa's paper and feverishly running through the items corrected. Rukawa almost fell sorry for him. Almost. "You probably cheated, you…cheat!" 

"No one has to cheat to get higher grades than yours, do'ahou." Rukawa retorted calmly, snatching his exam paper back and pocketing it. "Every idiot knows that, except you, of course." 

One of the strangest things that had been happening lately was that Rukawa and Sakuragi's rivalry had extended far from basketball where it originated. They were rivals at everything: grades, who tied shoelaces faster, who wrote faster, who grew hair faster, and the like. Although Rukawa never admitted it, he was glad this rivalry was going on, or else he wouldn't be interested in anything, like before. Fortunately though, they didn't have to resort to violence like before, as Haruko always seemed to pop up at the right moment, with the ever-ready smile on her face. 

"Konnichiwa, Sakuragi-kun!" she sang gaily, and almost automatically became as friendly as he can be, which meant a complete turnaround from his usual self, or rather, his usual self around Rukawa. 

"Haruko-san! Konnichiwa!" he wasn't stammering this time, a broad smile on his face. "How was your test?" he asked. 

"Nothing too nerve-wracking." She answered lightly, beaming at him. Then she noticed Rukawa's presence and greeted him with a light, "Hello, Rukawa-kun." 

Rukawa almost smiled. Even Haruko seemed to have changed as well. She wasn't acting awkwardly around him anymore, shuffling and nervous. This was Sakuragi's effect on her, undoubtedly, he thought, casting the redhead a quick glance. That was his effect on her, and he didn't even know, the baka. (But then again, Rukawa isn't too great with the 'sensitivity' thing himself. :p)

The students swarming in the halls were slowly increasing, and Rukawa had to leave. Haruko and Sakuragi were too immersed in conversation that they didn't even notice, and his self-proclaimed rival didn't even give him a threat/promise to do better the next time as a parting shot. 

For the briefest of moments, Rukawa was jealous of Sakuragi. If he could only be with Tsubasa, he would be very happy. A sigh escaped his lips and he looked out of the window. The snow had melted away, and spring was well on its way. Spring break was around the corner, and usually he looked forward to this time of the year to be able to practice without any intrusion of any sort. Now, it seemed like a chore. He put one hand in his pocket and felt the paper brush his hand. The letter.  He thought about it, and then he turned back.

-----

One step after another. Another step. The steps leading to the school rooftop were too small for his feet, but he never skipped one, even now, when he was hurrying, and he even didn't know why. At last he stood in front of the steel door, unmoving, staring at the door's handle. He drew in an unsteady stream of air, and opened the door. 

She was startled to hear the loud creak the opening door made, and jumped to face the newcomer. 

There she was. And she was tall and beautiful. Golden hair that flowed down to her waist, moon-white skin, and blue eyes that stared right back at him. 

He was looking into his own eyes.

And for a long time neither spoke. They have not heard the other's voice for so many years.

"Are you disappointed?" she finally ventured.

She took one look at her son's face and understood. 

"You're surprised to see me, aren't you?" she didn't sound angry or bitter. In fact her voice was teasing, a smile playing around her lips. "So I guess Tsubasa's plan did work." But she knew 'surprised' was hardly the word. He stood very still, a storm of emotions confusing him, and he did not trust himself to speak. The handwriting. How could have he forgotten her handwriting on that letter? 

"Why are you here?" 

"To see you." She answered.

"You didn't have to." He said stiffly. He wanted to go, to leave, to run, but somehow, his body refused to obey him. 

_Don't run away where I can't find you._ Tsubasa's voice. 

_Don't run away._

"Were you hoping it was Tsubasa? Or Shigure?" there was a hurt note in her voice. She wanted to come to him, and to embrace him, but she didn't dare.

"What do they have to do with this?" he asked flatly.

"Because they were the ones who gave you everything I couldn't give." She held her hand up to her mouth and looked away, as if she was stopping herself from crying. "I am sorry for all the things I did…all the things I didn't do…" she composed herself and straightened, but she was trembling. "I don't expect you to forgive me." 

He remembered how, last year, he had opened all those blue envelopes with Tsubasa, reading them together, to know this woman, this woman with golden hair and heartbreaking eyes. He was looking at her now, for her face had always seemed like a stranger's, and he looked into her blue eyes. And he knew that she wasn't a stranger, she never was.

For Shizuka was so much like himself.

But he had learned how to let go of the past, and Tsubasa taught him that. To live, to learn and to move on. He realized he wasn't angry with her. He could never be angry with his mother. There was no need for her to cry.

He had made mistakes himself. He had hurt as much as she had hurt him.

One step at a time. 

_What do you want? To be successful? To be popular? To be respected? _

One step at a time.

_I just want to be happy._

One step at a time_._

One step at a time.

_I love you, she said, looking embarrassed and shy. And that is why I'm here._

Very gently, he took her hands, and tears fell on them. Her blue eyes seemed shocked, disbelieving. Then he smiled at her, so very happily. This was what he had wanted, all this time. 

"I'm home." He said.

Through her tears, she smiled and nodded. She raised her one hand and brushed away the a tear that fell on her son's cheek. They were all waiting for him, his family, and she knew now, for sure, that he would come with her. Her heart was bursting, looking at her son. Her grown-up son. 

"Welcome home." 


End file.
